substitute

What not to wear to your press conference in India. Thanks to hotelsamurai for the link.

"This number is very respected," Earnhardt said. "Numbers have personalities. Numbers do talk. Numbers do kind of reach out and grab you. Some of the other options just didn't do that."

Junior's taken the number 88, because his step-mom won't give him Dad's #8, and his grandfather had #88.

Comedy gold is about to ensue as NASCAR, Junior, and the press discover how much white supremacist neo-Nazi skinheads love that number.

The first time a gang of those guys dressed all in Juniorwear beats the hell out of gays/blacks/cops will be a fine moment for NASCAR, as they're dragged back into the glorious past they're trying to market their way out of.

thanks for the news item, trinnit!

Even clam juice.

Looks like Sparky the Intern is back from vacation and on duty helping small businesses with their web link strategy! Welcome, Sparky:

Hello,
I have found your website [YOUTH ENTERTAINMENT SOCIAL NETWORK] when searching the web on the topics related to my website theme.

I must say your site content is very good and I think we would benefit much from possible partnership - for example link exchange. This would bring more targeted traffic to our sites, plus increase our websites' weight at the search engines, as they give greater value to the links from the topic-related sites rather than irrelevant backlinks.

My website http://www.funeralprinter.com/ is definitely related to yours.

I would be glad to link to your site in return to you linking back to mine.
Feel free to email me direct to staff@funeralprinter.com to discuss the details on the possible partnership.

Hope for the fruitful cooperation,

Best regards,
Titus Gerard,
http://www.funeralprinter.com/

I dunno. Maybe we could do something with one of our teen suicide gloom bands, but. My favorite clip-art dead guy is the black dude with the burning, rage-filled eyes who is clearly a revenant bent on revenge.

This just in from Dover Motor Speedway and VISA to my email inbox:



Cup Race at Dover to be named the "Autism Speaks 400 presented by Visa"

Gosh, the Asburgers at this stadium are delicious. And with the choice, convenience, acceptance, and security of VISA I could make them happen!

And this just in via myspace:

hi guys, im not speak english very well, but a like your music, please give you track. bye

Hey!!!!!! Te gusta el rock punk, emo, screamo, happy punk y el pop punk en espanol y en ingles, y ademas te laten las nuevas propuestas y los grupos ya consolidados. Si estas cansado de que pasen puro pinche daddy caca y caca Omar por la radio. Pues entonces escucha "PUNKEMO" un programa fresco y con el toque casero. Los sabados de 18:00 a 19:30 hora de Mexico, 19:00 a 20:30 hora de Colombia, 20:00 a 21:30 hora de Venezuela y republica dominicana, 21:00 a 22:30 hora de chile y 1:00 a 2:30 AM hora de Espana. Apoya la buena musica y conoce grupos de Norteamerica, America latina y Espana. Si tienes una banda de happy, emo, screamo, rock punk o pop punk y desean que pasemos su sencillo y los demos a conocer en la seccion "RECOMENDACIONES" solo envia un correo al my space de "PUNKEMO" y solicitanos la informacion necesaria para que puedan aparecer en la seccion y pongamos su sencillo en rotacion. Cualquier queja o comentario en www.myspace.com/punkemorcj y en punkemo_radiocuevadeljaguar@hotmail.com. Y recuerda di no....AL PINCHE REGGAETON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Escuchanos en www.radiocuevadeljaguar.mx.kz

I especially like the .mx.kz which suggests some kind of Spanish-language Borat.

Something about this kind of appeal from a foreign country makes it appealing and not annoying. If this had been in English I would have said "Feh!" but coming from earnest foreigners it makes me want to buy them a beer. Rock on, Punkemo.

Boy do they have the wrong number. Caught fresh in the wild by my spamchecker, some native Chilean spawning spalmon:

From: "FILETE DE SALMON A DOMICILIO" <buenamesa@chile.com>
Date: February 25, 2007 8:45:11 PM PST
To: "3" <buenamesa@chile.com>
Subject: FILETE DE SALMON A DOMICILIO

DISFRUTE DE EL MEJOR FILETE DE SALMON ENTREGADO EN SU DOMICILIO SIN RECARGO PARA USTED.(solo en la ciudad de santiago)

NUESTROS PRECIOS SON LOS SIGUIENTES:

FILETE DE SALMON FRESCO Y CONGELADO SELLADO AL VACIO 3.800.- POR KILO
FILETE DE SALMON AHUMADO SELLADO AL VACIO 5.000.- POR KILO


HAGA SU PEDIDO AL CORREO salmonchile@chile.com O LLAME AL FONO 09-7424993

si desea ser removido de nuestra lista por favor disculpe y devuelva este correo con la palabra "remover"

Subject: Camels, Toilets and Other Funusual Gifts from Oxfam!

FUNUSUAL?

I immediately hear Tom Jones singing "It's not funusual to be starving in a waaaar..."

...but whoever wrote this needs to be taken out to the shed and shot:

What is bread leadership?
With the single goal of making great bread broadly available to consumers across America, Panera Bread freshly bakes more bread each day than any bakery-cafe concept in the country.

From http://panera.textdriven.com/about/company/

Here is a paragraph from TechCrunch today:

Sprout Commerce, the company behind MyPickList, has launched a new product today, called FavoriteThingz. A widget for social networking sites like MySpace, FavoriteThingz lets users identify their favorite bands, movies and other branded products and display those brands in a nice looking slideshow. Their readers can click through to purchase the same goods and affiliate revenue is split between FavoriteThingz and widget publishers.

You can't say that paragraph without your soul leaving your body, so I don't recommend reading it aloud. I'm sure glad that I will be allowed to display my favorite branded products and split the revenue with someone for displaying my favorite branded products on branded websites with co-branding.

Here is the second paragraph of that article:

After identifying a product category, users select between hundreds of bands, for example, with press photos to display and affiliate revenue percentage listed next to each. Widgets can be customized a bit, which is liable to be appealing. Press photos can also be replaced by any image you chose - which seems like a branding disaster waiting to happen.

Oh it sure does. Wait until the Somethingawful Goons get hold of that. Goatse always wins, and half the Internet is going to end up joining the Lemon Party. I am glad, though, that I'll be able to choose from musical artists by affiliate revenue percentage just like the big record companies do, instead of just doing something stupid and Web 1.0 like listening to music I like.

I'm going to skip a paragraph here and go right to the end:

Will this type of service take off? Sprout Commerce and many other people think that social commerce is set to be big in the future, not because of the affiliate revenue it generates for users but because of the existential opportunity to associate ourselves with brands. Sounds pretty vapid to me, but if brand association is an important part of being a teenager then FavoriteThingz could be a winner at monetizing it.

This service is easy to use and the widget can look quite nice. Its success will probably come down to marketing. Who can guess what will go viral in the wild frontier of youth oriented online social networking?

I already have a lot of existential opportunities. I can, for example, die. Also I can reinvent myself consciously in every moment in a world without a priori meaning, without God, without others. But in the end, as Kierkegaard and Camus both said, it comes down to marketing.

The last sentence of the article is also, of course, the last sentence in Beckett's Happy End. Or at least it should be.