substitute

To master the challenges of the future, I require a Hyper Lethal Mini Robotic Attack Helicopter or two.

Enjoy the breathless prose of the war-machine lover:

Developed to be utilized as a tactical hunter/killer unmanned helicopter (mini-helicopter) a.k.a. unmanned combat armed rotorcraft (UCAR) for search-and-destroy missions and convoy security/force protection missions, the weaponized NRI AutoCopter Explorer robotic helicopter is a high-tech, high-speed, hyper-maneuverable and highly-weaponized harbinger of death and destruction from above--for the enemy, that is. It will be able to fly in in on enemy targets--both ground and aerial targets--at over 100 mph and engage those targets with forty (40) 12-gauge shotgun rounds or various types of 3-inch (3”) fin-stabilized FRAG-12 HE (High Explosive) grenade rounds at 300 RPM (Rounds Per Minute) out of the twin-AA-12s. The operator/pilot will be able to fire each gun individually or both guns simultaneously, depending on the situation. Oh, and did we mention that it (AutoCopter Explorer) will also be easily transportable in the back of your van (or SUV)?

Of course because of various dumb rules I can't get one, so they'll just be sent to suppress urban uprisings abroad and at home. Ho, hum.

I own a strange object. It is a plastic ball about the size of a baseball, with a hole in it, a dial, and some lettering identifying it as a "treat ball." Like other such objects, it's intended to amuse animals by leading them to poke at the ball and get treats. The twist with this particular one is that you can record your voice (or other sounds) so that the ball, when batted about, plays a short sound clip. I'm not sure what effect it's supposed to have on the pet.

This particular treat ball was given to me by a friend. The voice recorded within is that of her ex mother-in-law, who is a unique person in that she's a series of DSM-IV codes. I won't go into it. However, the sound that issues from the ball is a breathy high woman's voice, pleading with you.

The final effect is similar to that of the glowing-pulsating-red-heart ghost bride at Disneyland's Haunted House, calling you back, back, back to the grave.

I had it around the house for a couple years at least. It was on a little used desk but sometimes I bumped it and the voice came out. A couple of times it went off unexpectedly, which was a treat. My cat just looks at me funny when it makes noise.

Recently I put it in my car's trunk. I am not sure why; maybe I meant to take it to someone's house and make them afraid. Anyway, I would hear it when I braked or took a hard turn, or went over a bump. For a while I didn't realize what the sound was and kept thinking it was the stereo or maybe my phone having pocketdialed someone. I found it in the trunk again today and thought I should remove it because constant use would run down a battery.

Anyway I camvideo'd it:

( embedded video )

You're welcome!

...and how! I have Space Invaders Shoes now. They are invading your space. Please note the sole, which imprints an invader and "One Point" as I walk.

I found these after my original quest for the limited edition Space Invaders Vans shoes ended in failure; they were apparently a Japan only very limited thing.

Especially for changeng, a kindred spirit for you, Dan Deacon.

http://www.cs.rpi.edu/~leak/dan-on-nbc/ is him on the TV. Wow.

Thanks, explosivo!

This is, um, insane. Um, the casiotone okay but the glasses and then the, uh, singing. Okay gonna watch it again.

The Little Tikes Co. Recalls Animal-Shaped Flashlights Containing Lead Paint Sold at Target

Name of Product: Glowin’ Dino and Glowin’ Doggy Animal Flashlights

Hazard: The light green paint on the dinosaur-shaped flashlight and the brown paint on the dog-shaped flashlight could contain excess levels of lead. Lead is toxic if ingested by young children and can cause adverse health effects.

BEHOLD THE AGENT OF OUR DESTRUCTION:

The "A Million Miles Away" mp3blog has some great Pianosaurus stuff on today's post. Kickin' it old school mid 1980s weirdo style.

...OF DOOOOOOOOM

Fisher-Price Recalls Infant Musical Toy Chair Posing Strangulation Hazard

[Poll #610473]

Play that furry music, smooth buddy.

Jared and the_silent_one chose to send me this from Target.