substitute

Looks like Sparky the Intern is back from vacation and on duty helping small businesses with their web link strategy! Welcome, Sparky:

Hello,
I have found your website [YOUTH ENTERTAINMENT SOCIAL NETWORK] when searching the web on the topics related to my website theme.

I must say your site content is very good and I think we would benefit much from possible partnership - for example link exchange. This would bring more targeted traffic to our sites, plus increase our websites' weight at the search engines, as they give greater value to the links from the topic-related sites rather than irrelevant backlinks.

My website http://www.funeralprinter.com/ is definitely related to yours.

I would be glad to link to your site in return to you linking back to mine.
Feel free to email me direct to staff@funeralprinter.com to discuss the details on the possible partnership.

Hope for the fruitful cooperation,

Best regards,
Titus Gerard,
http://www.funeralprinter.com/

I dunno. Maybe we could do something with one of our teen suicide gloom bands, but. My favorite clip-art dead guy is the black dude with the burning, rage-filled eyes who is clearly a revenant bent on revenge.

Current Mood: giggly

The security "expert" who ran amok on the O'Reilly show about lesbian gangs forcing children into the "homosexual lifestyle" was forced to issue a retraction on his site, which is called rod007.com and sounds like a gay porn flick. His response manages to retain the crazy (lesbian gangs? what the...) but weasels out of the extreme crazy. He also of course links to a nutcase racist hate mail he received in order to show how unpleasant his enemies are and of course reveals the guy's email address so everyone can dogpile on him. Smooth. The text is here since he will no doubt remove it from his site as soon as he can:

Contact Rod Wheeler: Info@Rod007.com

Clarification and apology:

First of all, let me thank you for your feedback surrounding the O'Reilly Factor discussion on Lesbian Gangs. I received several e-mails from viewers, some positive and some negative, offering comments and constructive criticisms. Some of the e-mails I received were threatening and simply hostile. Click here for a sample e-mail I received from one viewer.

During the O’Reilly Factor segment on June 21st, while engaged in a discussion on Lesbian gangs, I inadvertently stated that gang members carry pistols that are painted pink and call themselves the "Pink Pistol Packing Group." I was not referring to the gay rights group "Pink Pistols" who advocates for the lawful rights of gays to carry weapons for protection. Further, I mentioned that there are "over 150 of these gangs" in the greater Washington DC area. What I actually meant is that there are over 150 gangs in the Washington DC area, some of which are in fact lesbian gangs. Lastly, I mentioned in the segment that there is this "national epidemic" of lesbian gangs. A better choice of words would have been to say that there is a growing concern nationally, and especially in major urban areas, of increased gang activity, which includes some lesbian gang activity.

I apologize for any misunderstanding this may have caused.

Sincerely,

Rod Wheeler

Current Mood: amused

http://substitute.livejournal.com/1508976.html

Comic Book Guy thinks late period Diedrich coffee was good. Hahahaha.

Current Mood: grumpy

Subject: Camels, Toilets and Other Funusual Gifts from Oxfam!

FUNUSUAL?

I immediately hear Tom Jones singing "It's not funusual to be starving in a waaaar..."

Current Mood: exanimate

http://substitute.livejournal.com/1491878.html?thread=7825062#t7825062

cackle

It's great to see that Tower is continuing to overprice even during their final dying going-out-of-business sale. The CDs and DVDs are all 10% off the insane list price no one pays. Whee.

Three-month-old magazines are 30% off, though, if you're into those.

Current Mood: awake

If you type "Chronic Cantina" into Google and hit "I"m feeling lucky" you get a man-boy: http://www.myspace.com/newportbeach

This man-boy likes PUNK!! music, and he likes Governor Arnold, and he likes executions, a lot. Let 'em fry! He owns a drug abuse theme restaurant.

The man-boy wants to start a war with China. He loves our President and says that Michael Moore should not criticize the man. The man-boy would like to meet open-minded girls.

The man-boy says: "If you are a fun person and like to have respectful fun no matter what the circumstances we will get along great. "

The man-boy owns a business selling stripper poles. The man-boy is an attorney and a real estate investor. Often the man-boy is surrounded by sad skinny bikini girls and grinning ape-boys on boats, on beaches, in bars, in nightclubs.

The man-boy was born Keith Scheinberg and calls himself MAXIMILLIAN on myspace. But I have a secret to tell you; I know his real name. His real name is Marie Antoinette.

Current Mood: refreshed

FOLKS I'M SHOWING MY SUPPORT FOR THE OCEAN AND THE BEACH AND THE FISH AND THE WHALES AND THE SEA ANEMONES AND THE SURFERS AND THE LAUGHING, RUNNING CHILDREN IN THE WAVES AND OUR FUTURE ON THE PLANET BY PUTTING THIS ORNAMENTAL LICENSE PLATE ON MY PIECE OF SHIT TRUCK THAT GETS 14 MILES PER GALLON AND IS ENTIRELY EMPTY BUT EXTREMELY SHINY BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I ROLL!!!

( CHECK MY SHIT OUT! )

Sometimes the IP logging feature on LJ is a beautiful thing, especially when Homeland Security employees think they're being all badass by flaming you for your political views from work.

Back to work, you. I pay you to beat up Mexicans and lose the city of New Orleans, not click around on the internet like a bunch of Kansas City faggots.

Current Mood: amused

The huge restaurant chain that owns Outback, Fleming's, and various other Tchotchke's/Flingers type places has brought their expensive seafood joint here, ""Blue Coral." Best quote from the Register article is:

That was evident Tuesday night, as diners such as Stafford – clad in khaki shorts, an Oxford shirt and a Crevier BMW cap – admired Blue Coral's high-back booth seats, iridescent-blue mosaic tiles and teak floors. The Fleming's regular said he plans to cruise among Roy's, Fleming's and Blue Coral on a weekly basis.

"This is what Newport Beach is all about," Stafford said.

Um. No. Newport beach is all about the Crab Cooker, the Villa Nova, Dad's Donuts, the Blue Beet, and Original Pizza. Among others. There's an actual town here and we don't need any more chain restaurants for the guys in polo shirts and pressed khaki shorts and pressed executive hair.

I bet he has a Duffy electric boat, too. Snark. :D

The full article is interesting, especially in the detail that America's shitty chain restaurants are getting their profits ground to bits by high energy costs.

Current Mood: grumpy

The Exploding Aardvark found a Google search string that produces really awful results. I myself prefer the Google Images results for the same phrase.

Current Mood: pleased

Contemporary Fetes Galantes and Fetes Champetres here in Dude Ranch Nation:

Burning Man
Humvees and Diesel
Cardio Pole-Dancing
Harley Culture
The House of Blues
Pimp and Ho parties
Eco-Tourism
Porn Chic
35-year-old suburban homeboys
The Tattooed Hausfrau
"White Trash" chic
The Simple Life (tv)
Prison Cool (jail slang, prison rape jokes, wings on the velour tracksuit)

Current Mood: sleepy

Seattle residents: Please blow up KING-TV and everyone quoted in this article. Thanks. Courtesy

do_not_lick:

The secret online code that keeps parents in the dark

10:50 PM PDT on Wednesday, May 10, 2006

LORI MATSUKAWA / KING 5 News

Sixteen-year-old Niles Jeran uses “leet speak,” an online lingo system that’s popular with kids. His friends use it too.

"I can see why parents would be worried just because it could, it can lead to danger," he said.

“LOL” for “laughing out loud” and “TTYL” for “talk to ya later” sound innocent enough, but if you look behind some other acronyms, there could be something sinister.

"I can see why parents would be worried just because it could, it can lead to danger," said Jeran.

Here's why they're worried:

- “KPC“ means “keeping parents clueless.”

- “POS” means “parent over the shoulder.”

- “GYPO” means “get your pants off.”

- "TDTM" means “talk dirty to me.”

"If you see that on your child's screen they're talking to somebody they shouldn't be," said Al Kush of Seattle-based WiredSafety.org, an Internet safety Web site for parents and teens.
Resources

Wiredsafety.org

Teenangels.org

NetLingo Internet dictionary

NoSlang.com

Parentsedge.com

He says some leet speak is harmless, but some like TDTM is a red flag.

"That could be the first step towards blackmailing to get a kid to perform sex acts,” he said.

"NIFOC is one of the terms they will sometimes use and it means ‘naked in front of computer,’" said Kush.

And leet speak gets even sneakier. Some words replace letters with numbers and symbols.

"There are too many predators out there that could endanger their kids' lives or could sexualize them too early by sending unwanted messages and pictures and things like that and Leet speak is just a gateway to all of that,” said family therapist Barbara Melton.

Some counselors even specialize in internet issues like this.

Susan Shankle counseled one family whose young daughter started a steamy online affair right in front of them.

"While the mom was cooking dinner and the dad was watching television, the daughter, who was 11 at the time, was carrying on this conversation with this older man," she said.

And her parents constantly checked the messages, too.

There is a way to learn the lingo, and that’s by going online yourself. There are Web sites with online dictionaries and translators to help, like Teenangels.org or Netlingo.com.

Wiredsafety.org operates the Teenangels.org site. There, they offer a chat translator to help parents learn the lingo.

Wiredsafety says some parental control software may also help.

Current Mood: annoyed

Man arrested for allegedly pointing laser at police helicopter

NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. (AP) -- The former head of a condominium association was arrested for allegedly pointing a laser into the cockpit of a police helicopter, temporarily blinding the pilot, authorities said.

Peter Kontos, 33, of Newport Beach, was arrested Thursday. He is being held on $500,000 bond. If convicted, he faces up to three years in prison.

( it gets better )

Yeah, so it's really smart to try to blind a police helicopter pilot with a laser because of noise when you have $100K and a bunch of coke in the house and a criminal record. Really, really smart.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: jordan, minnesota - Big Black

Go ahead and celebrate St. Patrick's day. Even if you're not in any way Irish. Even if you don't understand a thing about the politics of the celebration and its slogans and songs. Have corned beef and Guinness and try not to drive drunk, it's all good. Hell, the Japanese seem to enjoy Christmas, too. Holidays are fun.

But if you call it or spell it "St. Patty's Day" I'm going to come over to your house and beat you about the head and neck with "The Copy Editor's Shillelagh", otherwise known as a 1913 Webster's English Dictionary with cast iron covers and spikes, on the end of a chain.

Current Mood: uncomfortable

Psychopathic Parking, originally uploaded by conradh.

For some folks it's not enough just to buy the F350 Super Duty truck. Or to buy the crew cab version. Or to get the "FX4 Offroad" package, lift it, and load it up with accessories. No, the important part here is causing a confrontation of some kind, using the truck, so that there can be some manhood and throwdowns and getting up in someone's grill, as they say. A good way to do this is to take two parking spots in a suburban parking lot where you don't belong, when all the other trucks are at the far end of the lot because their drivers were grownups.

Current Mood: cold

The whole L.A. Times hilarious exposé is behind the cut ( here )

Current Mood: satisfied

I awoke in a black depression this morning, only to be jollied into a fit of giggling by the Aardvark's Curious George Culture Wars post.

The other day we had discussed the difference between "cripes" and "yeesh", both of which she uses as tags for posts on del.icio.us. It was my opinion that "cripes" could be used for any type of fucked-up situation, but that "yeesh" indicated not only that things were really jacked, but that someone was being a total lamer.

This is why the government needs to track us on the Internet, because the difference between a cripes and a yeesh is just the kind of subtle code that ~~our biowarfare sleeper cell~~ the terrorists use to signal their cohorts.

Sometimes the kids and their subcultures should be ignored. I mean, you know, your kid is gonna be a goth or something, it happens, they're all angsty, and then they get their AA and learn drywall or something and just start drinking like you.

Or then there's the other times, when the neo-nazi gaybashing satanic evil clown rap/metal stupidocrat ultraviolence culture they're immersed in turns out to be for real.

Woman With Tattoo From Homemade Gun Got Sick

tat

SPRINGFIELD, Mo. -- Some women in Springfield are regretting their decision last week to get a tattoo from a door-to-door tattoo salesman. At least one person had to be hospitalized and the others face serious health risks.

Friday night, a man knocked on doors holding a tattoo gun and offering his services. Tamra Eason described the tool as homemade, but still agreed to pay for a tattoo. So did two other women in her apartment complex.

"It was wrapped with black tape, had a pin underneath it, had fishing wire going through it, you could tell it was a homemade gun," Eason said.

The next day, Linda Falls passed out and had to be hospitalized.

"I passed out in the store and they said I should have it checked out," Falls said.

All the women have an infection in the tattoo area and have been told to get tested for HIV and hepatitis.

The health department said it's always worth the extra money to get a tattoo from a licensed professional with the right equipment and sterilization procedures.

tat2

"Getting a tattoo is like a wound. There's a risk of disease that may be long term or life threatening. It's a serious decision," said Jaci McReynalds, with the Greene County Health Department.

It is illegal in Missouri to give a tattoo without a license, so if several people file complaints with the state, the county prosecutor will pursue the case.

"Beware of deals in parachutes, brain surgery and tattoos," said Miller Cotton, a tattoo parlor owner.

"We just wanted tattoos, and now we're paying for it," Eason said.

Subj line: PARTNERSHIP ISSUE

RETRACTION: re pink pistol menace

BEING THE GREATEST GUSTATORY PERCEPTION EVER GAVE

Inexplicable communication from Oxfam

"analise" this! the bro guy strikes back

I suggest a fire.

The Masque of the Red Death, 2006

HONK HONK HONK THE BIG WHALE-SAVING TRUCK IS HERE

Your tax dollars at work: DHS flamewarriors on the job

The new chain restaurant is here! The new chain restaurant is here!

Candidates for this season's cull

Playing at Shepherds

AREA MORONS ADVISE PANIC

HUrrrrrrRRrrr dUhhhhh

Peppermint Patty Died For Your Sins

Psychopathic Parking

Yes, Thomas Kinkade really is a douchebag

more ether, george

The shooter, a member of the Dumbass-American Community...

via mendel Tattoos, brain surgery, and parachutes

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