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Here's what was on the "closeout discount" table at the local fancy liquor store. This place sells every tipple you can find anywhere. Here's what they can't sell at all.
The other shelves mostly contained emetic fruit mixers and unknown vanity vodkas.
The other shelves mostly contained emetic fruit mixers and unknown vanity vodkas.
turbans at the annex: serious business
Feb. 3rd, 2008 02:02 amOur local lame bar, Pierce Street Annex, has revised their policies to allow turbans in the bar, after a Sikh complained and asked for an apology.
The article says: "Sanjum Paul Singh Samagh, 24, accompanied friends to the Pierce Street Annex bar last year, only to be turned away because his turban was deemed to conflict with a rule prohibiting hats."
Good, he can enter with his turban now.
What's not mentioned is why bars ban hats: it's to keep out black guys. American black guys almost always wear a hat going out at night. It's an old, known technique for keeping their presence to a minimum. It's similar to gay bars banning open-toed shoes "for safety" to keep down the number of women who show up to dance with gay guys.
For some time now, Pierce Street has been a destination for black guys from Riverside County who drive out here to be in Newport/Mesa instead of Riverside. I guess the management decided there were too many of them.
Bars are just a disaster in Southern California. Everyone drives home, and a bar can't make money unless you have at least two drinks, so the entire business relies on drunk driving. And then they make desperate attempts to keep a money-making "demographic" in the bar, which they can only achieve by violating discrimination laws and acting like assholes.
I liked the bars in SF and NY, where you could walk home if you wanted. I bet they have similar issues with the "mix of the crowd" though.
The article says: "Sanjum Paul Singh Samagh, 24, accompanied friends to the Pierce Street Annex bar last year, only to be turned away because his turban was deemed to conflict with a rule prohibiting hats."
Good, he can enter with his turban now.
What's not mentioned is why bars ban hats: it's to keep out black guys. American black guys almost always wear a hat going out at night. It's an old, known technique for keeping their presence to a minimum. It's similar to gay bars banning open-toed shoes "for safety" to keep down the number of women who show up to dance with gay guys.
For some time now, Pierce Street has been a destination for black guys from Riverside County who drive out here to be in Newport/Mesa instead of Riverside. I guess the management decided there were too many of them.
Bars are just a disaster in Southern California. Everyone drives home, and a bar can't make money unless you have at least two drinks, so the entire business relies on drunk driving. And then they make desperate attempts to keep a money-making "demographic" in the bar, which they can only achieve by violating discrimination laws and acting like assholes.
I liked the bars in SF and NY, where you could walk home if you wanted. I bet they have similar issues with the "mix of the crowd" though.
strange spirits
Feb. 3rd, 2008 01:30 amAt the fancy grocery store they had a vodka of Armenian origin, and the label listed the following additives:
acetic acid
sodium bicarbonate
dried skim milk
honey
What's this all about? Anyone know?
I found another vodka with similar recipe:
http://www.topliquor.com/Russian-Style-Emerald-Castle-Marani-Vodka-750-ml-p-67089.html
acetic acid
sodium bicarbonate
dried skim milk
honey
What's this all about? Anyone know?
I found another vodka with similar recipe:
http://www.topliquor.com/Russian-Style-Emerald-Castle-Marani-Vodka-750-ml-p-67089.html
I keep forgetting to post this
Sep. 5th, 2007 07:41 pmSeen a while back while waiting on the freeway for roadside assistance: A large pickup truck, painted on the tailgate in huge letters with:
I'D RATHER BE CUMMIN THAN STROKIN
In or out of context this is a jarring thing to see on the road. I hereby provide context:
The owner of this truck owns a Dodge pickup which uses a Cummins brand diesel engine. He feels strongly that said brand of diesel engine is superior to Ford diesel engines, which are called "Powerstroke."
I understand the intent of his message. Clearly he wants to indicate that his engine choice implies a sexual choice: he does not wish to masturbate, hence "strokin."
However, the activities of "cummin" and "strokin" are not exclusive. Aficionados of masturbation will immediately object: Hey! We stroke in order to come! And then we're cummin!"
Since I was stuck on the shoulder of Interstate 710 at Atlantic/Bandini at the time I didn't have time to follow this gentleman and point out the contradiction inherent in his signage.
Perhaps he should have said: "I'd prefer to be cummin due to my conquest of a female human than strokin my own male member in order to achieve orgasm on my own, which is humiliating to me, and I feel the same way about my engine choice of Cummins Diesel over Powerstroke Diesel. It is the right choice for diesel engines without a doubt and gives me the same sense of control and desirability that mutually consensual coitus does over masturbatory activity."
Or maybe he should of just gave the fuck up and not painted his truck with that sign.
I'D RATHER BE CUMMIN THAN STROKIN
In or out of context this is a jarring thing to see on the road. I hereby provide context:
The owner of this truck owns a Dodge pickup which uses a Cummins brand diesel engine. He feels strongly that said brand of diesel engine is superior to Ford diesel engines, which are called "Powerstroke."
I understand the intent of his message. Clearly he wants to indicate that his engine choice implies a sexual choice: he does not wish to masturbate, hence "strokin."
However, the activities of "cummin" and "strokin" are not exclusive. Aficionados of masturbation will immediately object: Hey! We stroke in order to come! And then we're cummin!"
Since I was stuck on the shoulder of Interstate 710 at Atlantic/Bandini at the time I didn't have time to follow this gentleman and point out the contradiction inherent in his signage.
Perhaps he should have said: "I'd prefer to be cummin due to my conquest of a female human than strokin my own male member in order to achieve orgasm on my own, which is humiliating to me, and I feel the same way about my engine choice of Cummins Diesel over Powerstroke Diesel. It is the right choice for diesel engines without a doubt and gives me the same sense of control and desirability that mutually consensual coitus does over masturbatory activity."
Or maybe he should of just gave the fuck up and not painted his truck with that sign.
SIdeshow Bob's Night on the Town
Mar. 24th, 2007 10:33 amOr: How to get arrested in Costa Mesa, CA:
Unpaid checks, pursuit lead to arrest
Man who failed to register as a sex offender is suspected of walking out on bills at restaurants.
By Kelly Strodl
A brief vehicle pursuit earlier this month led Costa Mesa police to an unregistered sex offender, authorities said Tuesday. The man in the pursuit allegedly neglected to pay his check at two eateries on March 4, police said.
According to police, at 1 p.m. a man left Wingnuts at 2340 Harbor Blvd. driving a 2001 Honda Pilot having allegedly not paid his bill. At 11:45 p.m. that day, employees at Denny's restaurant at 290 Bristol St. reported a similar scenario of a man leaving without paying the bill, but this time driving a large Dodge passenger van, police said.
Police who saw the van being driven away from the restaurant pursued the vehicle while calling in another unit to determine if a robbery had been committed, Sgt. Matt Grimmond said. After the officers at the Denny's radioed the ones following the van that the alleged crime concerned an unpaid bill, the pursuing officers took down the vehicle's license plate information and stopped the chase, Grimmond said.
"This was like a $10 grand slam from Denny's," Grimmond said of the unpaid check. "We terminated the pursuit just because pursuits are dangerous, and we'll catch him later. And we did."
Both vehicles were registered to Anthony Tabarsi, 41, of Costa Mesa, a convicted sex offender who it seems had failed to register in his new city of residence, police said. In 1998, Tabarsi pleaded guilty to oral copulation with a child under 14, rape and penetration with a foreign object. He served five years in state prison.
At 2:30 a.m. Monday, police received a call about a disturbance at the Q Club & Cafe, at 1525 Mesa Verde Drive. There police found an intoxicated man calling himself King Anthony and challenging everybody to a fight, Grimmond said.
The man was identified as Tabarsi and arrested on suspicion of public drunkenness and failure to register as a sexual offender, Grimmond said. The two alleged thefts are still under investigation, police said.
Unpaid checks, pursuit lead to arrest
Man who failed to register as a sex offender is suspected of walking out on bills at restaurants.
By Kelly Strodl
A brief vehicle pursuit earlier this month led Costa Mesa police to an unregistered sex offender, authorities said Tuesday. The man in the pursuit allegedly neglected to pay his check at two eateries on March 4, police said.
According to police, at 1 p.m. a man left Wingnuts at 2340 Harbor Blvd. driving a 2001 Honda Pilot having allegedly not paid his bill. At 11:45 p.m. that day, employees at Denny's restaurant at 290 Bristol St. reported a similar scenario of a man leaving without paying the bill, but this time driving a large Dodge passenger van, police said.
Police who saw the van being driven away from the restaurant pursued the vehicle while calling in another unit to determine if a robbery had been committed, Sgt. Matt Grimmond said. After the officers at the Denny's radioed the ones following the van that the alleged crime concerned an unpaid bill, the pursuing officers took down the vehicle's license plate information and stopped the chase, Grimmond said.
"This was like a $10 grand slam from Denny's," Grimmond said of the unpaid check. "We terminated the pursuit just because pursuits are dangerous, and we'll catch him later. And we did."
Both vehicles were registered to Anthony Tabarsi, 41, of Costa Mesa, a convicted sex offender who it seems had failed to register in his new city of residence, police said. In 1998, Tabarsi pleaded guilty to oral copulation with a child under 14, rape and penetration with a foreign object. He served five years in state prison.
At 2:30 a.m. Monday, police received a call about a disturbance at the Q Club & Cafe, at 1525 Mesa Verde Drive. There police found an intoxicated man calling himself King Anthony and challenging everybody to a fight, Grimmond said.
The man was identified as Tabarsi and arrested on suspicion of public drunkenness and failure to register as a sexual offender, Grimmond said. The two alleged thefts are still under investigation, police said.
http://www.nrawines.com/
This month's specials are a Smokeless Fumé Blanc '98, a charmingly rusty but deburred 1911 Colt, and several beautifully aged and rare 1944 Mauser Qualitatswehr from the extremely limited Himmler Select collection. For a relaxed sipping evening we once again offer excellent values in case quantities of Mad Dog 30/30.
Great idea. Alcohol and firearms are an awesome mix. I think I'll also join the American Heart Association Bacon Club, and order another case of Abstinence Project Thongs from Cafe Press.
Win goes to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zebulon_y: "Whites Only"
This month's specials are a Smokeless Fumé Blanc '98, a charmingly rusty but deburred 1911 Colt, and several beautifully aged and rare 1944 Mauser Qualitatswehr from the extremely limited Himmler Select collection. For a relaxed sipping evening we once again offer excellent values in case quantities of Mad Dog 30/30.
Great idea. Alcohol and firearms are an awesome mix. I think I'll also join the American Heart Association Bacon Club, and order another case of Abstinence Project Thongs from Cafe Press.
Win goes to
zebulon_y: "Whites Only"I shouldn't expect too much from the free weekly paper in a rich flat right-wing suburb fifty miles south of Los Angeles, but I'm very disappointed in the Orange County Weekly's "Best of O.C." issue. It's an unreadable mess of office in-jokes, arch post-ironic snark, inaccuracies, logrolling, and delusions of grandeur. It is, in short, the Waiting for Guffman issue.
It begins with a bizarrely academic leader which is precious as hell but probably the best-written thing in the issue. It belongs in a painfully literary college humor magazine.
Almost all of the rest of the issue is devoted to an in-group of 25ish partyers. This leads to "My Favorite Things" spreads for a fundraiser party organizer who like Lhasa Apsos and those old 90s records, some random community college student with one of the new-fangled "blogs" who is therefore a social critic, an activist stereotype straight from the pages of The Onion, and a Chapman prof who is claimed to be a novelist but appears to be Adam Sandler playing one in a bad movie. Oh, and an apparently very nice guy who is a computer dude and DJ and stuff but is oddly described as a Renaissance man. Maybe he buys drinks for them a lot. He does seem pretty cool.
About a third of the items are in Long Beach, which is not in Orange County. However the 25ish partyers all live and hang out there and this issue is for and about them, not about their readers.
Clearly the ad salesmen did way too good a job. The issue is big and fat, and even with the high ad-to-editorial ratio they run, that was a lot of inches to fill. But they do have two or three good writers. Arellano and Moxley are of national quality, and Nick Schou is capable and talented. But instead of letting some people with skill work on this thing they just dumped in a load of garbage they could giggle to each other over. They compound the problem by adding on a few "I beg to differ!" items to the end of each "best of" item. This gives you the charming sensation of being next to their group as they pass in-jokes back and forth. I fail to understand why anyone would care which El Pollo Loco these people prefer, much less be present at a cute little fake argument about the choices available.
I suppose it doesn't matter that my local weekly paper blows so hard. People read it for the listings and the ads, the same way they read the L.A. Weekly. The good writing goes as unnoticed as the bad by almost everyone, and this particular crowd of drunk scenesters is fooling themselves about their importance as much as I did 20 years ago at a free weekly paper, myself. But it could be good, and I wish it was. There are a lot of great things to write about here, enough to fill a Best Of issue with, some Worst Of, and with a lot more cultural and political substance and way more actual fun.
I sincerely wish these people saw their opportunity and took it.
As they say in their own post-everything bad-is-good ode to cosmetic surgery, truly it is another nail in the rational coffin.
P.S. No one thinks you're badass for hanging out in Santa Ana at night except your mom. They're all going to laugh at you! They're all going to laugh at you!
It begins with a bizarrely academic leader which is precious as hell but probably the best-written thing in the issue. It belongs in a painfully literary college humor magazine.
Almost all of the rest of the issue is devoted to an in-group of 25ish partyers. This leads to "My Favorite Things" spreads for a fundraiser party organizer who like Lhasa Apsos and those old 90s records, some random community college student with one of the new-fangled "blogs" who is therefore a social critic, an activist stereotype straight from the pages of The Onion, and a Chapman prof who is claimed to be a novelist but appears to be Adam Sandler playing one in a bad movie. Oh, and an apparently very nice guy who is a computer dude and DJ and stuff but is oddly described as a Renaissance man. Maybe he buys drinks for them a lot. He does seem pretty cool.
About a third of the items are in Long Beach, which is not in Orange County. However the 25ish partyers all live and hang out there and this issue is for and about them, not about their readers.
Clearly the ad salesmen did way too good a job. The issue is big and fat, and even with the high ad-to-editorial ratio they run, that was a lot of inches to fill. But they do have two or three good writers. Arellano and Moxley are of national quality, and Nick Schou is capable and talented. But instead of letting some people with skill work on this thing they just dumped in a load of garbage they could giggle to each other over. They compound the problem by adding on a few "I beg to differ!" items to the end of each "best of" item. This gives you the charming sensation of being next to their group as they pass in-jokes back and forth. I fail to understand why anyone would care which El Pollo Loco these people prefer, much less be present at a cute little fake argument about the choices available.
I suppose it doesn't matter that my local weekly paper blows so hard. People read it for the listings and the ads, the same way they read the L.A. Weekly. The good writing goes as unnoticed as the bad by almost everyone, and this particular crowd of drunk scenesters is fooling themselves about their importance as much as I did 20 years ago at a free weekly paper, myself. But it could be good, and I wish it was. There are a lot of great things to write about here, enough to fill a Best Of issue with, some Worst Of, and with a lot more cultural and political substance and way more actual fun.
I sincerely wish these people saw their opportunity and took it.
As they say in their own post-everything bad-is-good ode to cosmetic surgery, truly it is another nail in the rational coffin.
P.S. No one thinks you're badass for hanging out in Santa Ana at night except your mom. They're all going to laugh at you! They're all going to laugh at you!
I was just awakened from a lovely nap by lost bro guys. There were two of them, the Shouter and the Mumbler. The Shouter was on his phone and alternately talking to the Mumbler.
SHOUTER: AN HOUR AGO WE WERE AT THE BAR AND NOW WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE!!
MUMBLER: Urghm... [inaudible]
SHOUTER: WHAT THE FUCK, I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME! NO, I'M AT HARMONY AND BAGUETTE! NO! GET THE COMPUTER!
MUMBLER: grghgm...
SHOUTER: SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO! I DON'T KNOW. I WALKED THE WHOLE WAY. YOU GOTTA HELP ME. COME ON. FUCKIN'. THIS IS FUCKING NOWHERE.
SHOUTER: FUCK FUCK, FUCK, FUCK FUCK FUCK! HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN? YES I SAID HARMONY AND BAGUETTE. NO I DON'T KNOW. YOU TELL ME WHICH WAY! LEFT OR RIGHT? I'M FACING... FUCK JUST TELL ME HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!
This went on for about fifteen minutes. For reference, I'm a half mile from the boulevard where any bar would be, and if you look down "Harmony" you can see a major thoroughfare at each end within a few minutes' walking distance. Shouter was degenerating into a meltdown panic as if he'd fallen into an abandoned mineshaft or been left behind by the last chopper out of a firefight in Afghanistan. Periodically he attempted to hail some passing car. Oh dear god don't leave the poor boy here in this suburban neighborhood that's laid out in a grid. Some soccer mom will skin him alive for a laugh or he'll be mauled and eaten by wandering housecats.
Finally I went out to either help him find his way out of our living Hell or get him to shut up. He was headed in the right direction, though, and he and Mumbler slowly flapped in their flip-flops towards the twinkling lights of the Oasis called Newport Boulevard.
SHOUTER: YEAH, BUT WHAT WAS FUNNY IS HOW MUCH WE RIPPED HIM OFF!!
MUMBLER: shut the fuck up
SHOUTER: WE GOT HIS NINETY BUCKS AND THERE'S NO WAY HE GOT HIS MONEY'S WORTH! HAHAHAHAHAH!
SHOUTER: AN HOUR AGO WE WERE AT THE BAR AND NOW WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE!!
MUMBLER: Urghm... [inaudible]
SHOUTER: WHAT THE FUCK, I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME! NO, I'M AT HARMONY AND BAGUETTE! NO! GET THE COMPUTER!
MUMBLER: grghgm...
SHOUTER: SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO! I DON'T KNOW. I WALKED THE WHOLE WAY. YOU GOTTA HELP ME. COME ON. FUCKIN'. THIS IS FUCKING NOWHERE.
SHOUTER: FUCK FUCK, FUCK, FUCK FUCK FUCK! HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN? YES I SAID HARMONY AND BAGUETTE. NO I DON'T KNOW. YOU TELL ME WHICH WAY! LEFT OR RIGHT? I'M FACING... FUCK JUST TELL ME HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!
This went on for about fifteen minutes. For reference, I'm a half mile from the boulevard where any bar would be, and if you look down "Harmony" you can see a major thoroughfare at each end within a few minutes' walking distance. Shouter was degenerating into a meltdown panic as if he'd fallen into an abandoned mineshaft or been left behind by the last chopper out of a firefight in Afghanistan. Periodically he attempted to hail some passing car. Oh dear god don't leave the poor boy here in this suburban neighborhood that's laid out in a grid. Some soccer mom will skin him alive for a laugh or he'll be mauled and eaten by wandering housecats.
Finally I went out to either help him find his way out of our living Hell or get him to shut up. He was headed in the right direction, though, and he and Mumbler slowly flapped in their flip-flops towards the twinkling lights of the Oasis called Newport Boulevard.
SHOUTER: YEAH, BUT WHAT WAS FUNNY IS HOW MUCH WE RIPPED HIM OFF!!
MUMBLER: shut the fuck up
SHOUTER: WE GOT HIS NINETY BUCKS AND THERE'S NO WAY HE GOT HIS MONEY'S WORTH! HAHAHAHAHAH!
SO I'VE BEEN BROWSING MYSPACE TONIGHT
Aug. 5th, 2006 12:51 amI'VE FOUND OUT A LOT OF STUFF, OKAY.
FIRST OF ALL I CAN GET UPSCALE ACCESS TO PROMOTIONAL EVENTS AND PARTIES THROUGH UPSCALE ACCESS BECAUSE THEY ARE MY HOOKUP TO THE SCENE. THE SCENE IS WHERE YOU TO TO RESTAURANTS HERE IN TOWN AND PAY EXTRA AND THERE ARE DRUNK BLONDE WOMEN THERE WITH SPRAY ON TANS. THE MEMBERSHIP IN UPSCALE ACCESS IS SO EXCITING TO THESE WOMEN THAT QUITE A FEW OF THEM ARE SEEN LICKING THE MEMBERSHIP CARDS OR STROKING THEIR CLEAVAGE WITH THE CARDS AND SEEM VERY HAPPY DOING THIS. I AM NOT SURE HOW THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM JUST GOING TO A RESTAURANT AND HAVING SOME SEX AFTERWARDS BUT I GUESS IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
I ALSO LEARNED THAT THE MAJORITY OF NEW MYSPACE MEMBERS TONIGHT ARE YOUNG WOMEN WHO HAVE JUST GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND WANT TO MEET FUN PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY'RE NEW IN TOWN. WHAT'S WEIRD IS THAT THEY ALL LOOK LIKE 30-YEAR-OLD PROFESSIONAL BIKINI MODELS. MAYBE HIGH SCHOOL IS DIFFERENT NOW, I DUNNO.
I LEARNED THAT SOME GUY FOR REASONS OF HIS OWN IS MAKING PROFILES FOR THE ENTIRE 1995 GRADUATING CLASS OF CORONA DEL MAR HIGH SCHOOL WITH THE REAL NAMES AND PICTURES OF THOSE PEOPLE PROBABLY WITHOUT TALKING TO THEM FIRST. THAT'S GOING TO BE A PARTY BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL ABOUT THE AGE TO BE GRADUATING FROM LAW SCHOOL ABOUT NOW AND I THINK MAYBE THEY WON'T LIKE THIS SO MUCH.
OH AND ONE OTHER THING THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED ULTRA LOUNGE NOW. IT LOOKS LIKE A REGULAR DISCO EXCEPT IT HAS TECHNO MUSIC ON A LOOP AND THE DRINKS ARE TEN DOLLARS. I AM NOT SURE WHY IT'S AN ULTRA LOUNGE BECAUSE THE PICTURES ARE JUST OF DRUNK PEOPLE OR BOOTH BABES FROM THE TRADE SHOW IN MINIDRESSES BUT MAYBE THERE ARE SOME REALLY GOOD LOUNGE TYPE CHAIRS IN THE PLACE THAT ARE SUPER COMFORTABLE.
IT WAS REALLY TIRING READING ABOUT THE ULTRA LOUNGES AND THE BIKINI MODELS AND ALL THE ENERGY DRINKS AND PROMOTIONS AND STUFF. I THINK THESE PEOPLE MUST BE A LOT MORE COMMITTED TO AN UPSCALE LIFESTYLE THAN I AM BECAUSE IT SORT OF WORE ME OUT JUST LEARNING ALL THIS NEW STUFF.
ALSO WHEN I WAS BROWSING THROUGH THE PEOPLE ON MYSPACE I SAW THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUNCH OF THOSE 30 YEAR OLD BIKINI MODELS WHO JUST GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL:
FIRST OF ALL I CAN GET UPSCALE ACCESS TO PROMOTIONAL EVENTS AND PARTIES THROUGH UPSCALE ACCESS BECAUSE THEY ARE MY HOOKUP TO THE SCENE. THE SCENE IS WHERE YOU TO TO RESTAURANTS HERE IN TOWN AND PAY EXTRA AND THERE ARE DRUNK BLONDE WOMEN THERE WITH SPRAY ON TANS. THE MEMBERSHIP IN UPSCALE ACCESS IS SO EXCITING TO THESE WOMEN THAT QUITE A FEW OF THEM ARE SEEN LICKING THE MEMBERSHIP CARDS OR STROKING THEIR CLEAVAGE WITH THE CARDS AND SEEM VERY HAPPY DOING THIS. I AM NOT SURE HOW THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM JUST GOING TO A RESTAURANT AND HAVING SOME SEX AFTERWARDS BUT I GUESS IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
I ALSO LEARNED THAT THE MAJORITY OF NEW MYSPACE MEMBERS TONIGHT ARE YOUNG WOMEN WHO HAVE JUST GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND WANT TO MEET FUN PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY'RE NEW IN TOWN. WHAT'S WEIRD IS THAT THEY ALL LOOK LIKE 30-YEAR-OLD PROFESSIONAL BIKINI MODELS. MAYBE HIGH SCHOOL IS DIFFERENT NOW, I DUNNO.
I LEARNED THAT SOME GUY FOR REASONS OF HIS OWN IS MAKING PROFILES FOR THE ENTIRE 1995 GRADUATING CLASS OF CORONA DEL MAR HIGH SCHOOL WITH THE REAL NAMES AND PICTURES OF THOSE PEOPLE PROBABLY WITHOUT TALKING TO THEM FIRST. THAT'S GOING TO BE A PARTY BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL ABOUT THE AGE TO BE GRADUATING FROM LAW SCHOOL ABOUT NOW AND I THINK MAYBE THEY WON'T LIKE THIS SO MUCH.
OH AND ONE OTHER THING THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED ULTRA LOUNGE NOW. IT LOOKS LIKE A REGULAR DISCO EXCEPT IT HAS TECHNO MUSIC ON A LOOP AND THE DRINKS ARE TEN DOLLARS. I AM NOT SURE WHY IT'S AN ULTRA LOUNGE BECAUSE THE PICTURES ARE JUST OF DRUNK PEOPLE OR BOOTH BABES FROM THE TRADE SHOW IN MINIDRESSES BUT MAYBE THERE ARE SOME REALLY GOOD LOUNGE TYPE CHAIRS IN THE PLACE THAT ARE SUPER COMFORTABLE.
IT WAS REALLY TIRING READING ABOUT THE ULTRA LOUNGES AND THE BIKINI MODELS AND ALL THE ENERGY DRINKS AND PROMOTIONS AND STUFF. I THINK THESE PEOPLE MUST BE A LOT MORE COMMITTED TO AN UPSCALE LIFESTYLE THAN I AM BECAUSE IT SORT OF WORE ME OUT JUST LEARNING ALL THIS NEW STUFF.
ALSO WHEN I WAS BROWSING THROUGH THE PEOPLE ON MYSPACE I SAW THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUNCH OF THOSE 30 YEAR OLD BIKINI MODELS WHO JUST GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL:
There's an interesting dialogue going on in my LJ post about the locally notorious woman-falls-out-of-limo-and-dies story from last year. Someone's claiming to be the boyfriend, and another claiming to be the sister, and there's smack talk.
I have no idea if the guy is who he says he is, but he sure has an asshole's email address!
I have no idea if the guy is who he says he is, but he sure has an asshole's email address!
More Marketing Prose! DNA
Jun. 1st, 2006 12:02 amThis stuff is on the Extinct Beverages page, so I guess it's gone. It was water, with a little fruit flavoring, and 5% alcohol. Yeah. Its marketing website lives on, and says:
DNA: It's Water with an Attitude! The world's one and only alcoholic spring water.
I AM DNA
A refreshing combination of clear spring water, natural fruit flavor, with an alcohol level of 5%.
DRINK THIS
DNA explodes onto the beverage market. The wild child of alcoholic drinks will hijack your imagination. You don't have to understand it. Just get on the ride.
BIG OPPORTUNITY
DNA launches its asault on North America in Spring of 2000. Alternative alcohol products have been the rage of lifestyle cities around the world. Thrill seekers and tastemakers in your market are eager to try DNA. It's an "Australian original." Go for it...with a vengeance!
I AM SERIOUS
The combined strengths of Wet Planet Beverage and Canadaigua Brands, Inc. will lead DNA among market movers and shakers. DNA will be pumpin' with bar & club sampling programs along with consumer promotions. A mega-cool press campaign is sure to prompt word-of-mouth and great demand!
DNA: It's Water with an Attitude! The world's one and only alcoholic spring water.
I AM DNA
A refreshing combination of clear spring water, natural fruit flavor, with an alcohol level of 5%.
DRINK THIS
DNA explodes onto the beverage market. The wild child of alcoholic drinks will hijack your imagination. You don't have to understand it. Just get on the ride.
BIG OPPORTUNITY
DNA launches its asault on North America in Spring of 2000. Alternative alcohol products have been the rage of lifestyle cities around the world. Thrill seekers and tastemakers in your market are eager to try DNA. It's an "Australian original." Go for it...with a vengeance!
I AM SERIOUS
The combined strengths of Wet Planet Beverage and Canadaigua Brands, Inc. will lead DNA among market movers and shakers. DNA will be pumpin' with bar & club sampling programs along with consumer promotions. A mega-cool press campaign is sure to prompt word-of-mouth and great demand!
Someday they'll all be President
Mar. 25th, 2006 11:26 pmIt pisses me off when people post warnings about DUI enforcement online. They say stuff like "take a cab tonight if you're going towards $TOWN" or "they're running a checkpoint at Newport & Flower, pass it on".
How about just not driving drunk? Ever? It's not hard to avoid. You'll be helping your friends the best possible way by not killing and maiming them.
If you can afford to go out and drink but you somehow can't afford to cab it home then you're just being a fucking sociopath. Stay home and drink, okay? Helping the other sociopaths mow us all down isn't nice.
How about just not driving drunk? Ever? It's not hard to avoid. You'll be helping your friends the best possible way by not killing and maiming them.
If you can afford to go out and drink but you somehow can't afford to cab it home then you're just being a fucking sociopath. Stay home and drink, okay? Helping the other sociopaths mow us all down isn't nice.
I've always thought I wanted to sell shoes
Feb. 1st, 2006 01:57 pmCompetition for the title "Cheesiest Heavy Metal Video Ever" is intense. For one thing, it includes some 1980s material that can only be described as seminal in every way.
Via the Exploding Aardvark and Blabbermouth, I present to you:
Hammerfall - Hearts on Fire (Quicktime)
I will give you only one hint before you click: it's winter sports-related.
Edit: For those who can't see video, a small gallery of images is presented for your enjoyment ( below the cut here )
Via the Exploding Aardvark and Blabbermouth, I present to you:
Hammerfall - Hearts on Fire (Quicktime)
I will give you only one hint before you click: it's winter sports-related.
Edit: For those who can't see video, a small gallery of images is presented for your enjoyment ( below the cut here )
My first drunk was at 15 on André "Champagne" chased with Moosehead beer. I'm not sure if André is still sold. It was so bad that you got the aftertaste a week before you drank it. Seriously horrid shit at about $3.99 a bottle if I recall correctly. The Moosehead was necessary to drive out the evil.
The second drunkest I ever was was on New Year's Eve 1993. I had maybe 8 or 9 strong good German beers and then an indeterminate quantity of Irish whisky. I was not hung over the next day but I got a flu that lasted a week.
The only time I drank myself sick was on port wine in 1989. Haven't enjoyed port so much since.
The drunkest I ever got was New Year's Eve 1998. I think it was '98. For local reference it was the New Year's at the House of Despair, when Travis B. was making Kamikazes and Irish Dan went for a walk and fell asleep under a bush. Apparently I made sense and was amusing despite consuming an entire bottle of Glacier Vodka.
The worst alcohol experience I can remember was the night my college friend Kermit and I had to fill out some shifts at the radio station and decided that we would do 12 hours in a row and consume a case of beer in the process. We did indeed complete the entire 12 hours and consume the entire case. It was sort of a test run for how gross and tired and woozy and headachy we could get. The last couple of hours were a haze of missed segues, very slow backsell, and an inability to count to five. I slept for another 12 hours.
The best alcohol experience I can remember was with my family one Christmas when my brother had a couple of bottles of Gavi de Gavi (good Italian white wine), which was almost sparkling and really dry and good, and went beautifully with the meal, and I had about a 2 hour steady buzz with good conversation.
The strangest alcohol-related situation I've had was the year and change that I didn't have alcohol at all. I was taking some meds that didn't allow drinking. That was the time I found out that almost all parties suck, because I was stone cold sober and I could clearly see people standing around fearfully or wandering from group to group sadly and aimlessly, pouring anesthesia into their faces. That was also the time I found that I only missed alcohol as wine or beer with dinner, and otherwise I could take it or leave it.
The scariest drinking I saw was at my newspaper job. The sales guys there were mostly end-stage alcohol and drug dependency cases. One guy drove a former ice cream truck to work, unlicensed and unregistered and weaving from lane to lane. He carried a mug of "coffee" around that was straight Jack Daniels. Two other guys were doing the cocaine and alcohol dance. Those bastards taught me how to drink: double greyhounds at the Two Guys from Italy downstairs from the office, black & tans at the pub down the street. I bet most of those guys are dead now.
The second drunkest I ever was was on New Year's Eve 1993. I had maybe 8 or 9 strong good German beers and then an indeterminate quantity of Irish whisky. I was not hung over the next day but I got a flu that lasted a week.
The only time I drank myself sick was on port wine in 1989. Haven't enjoyed port so much since.
The drunkest I ever got was New Year's Eve 1998. I think it was '98. For local reference it was the New Year's at the House of Despair, when Travis B. was making Kamikazes and Irish Dan went for a walk and fell asleep under a bush. Apparently I made sense and was amusing despite consuming an entire bottle of Glacier Vodka.
The worst alcohol experience I can remember was the night my college friend Kermit and I had to fill out some shifts at the radio station and decided that we would do 12 hours in a row and consume a case of beer in the process. We did indeed complete the entire 12 hours and consume the entire case. It was sort of a test run for how gross and tired and woozy and headachy we could get. The last couple of hours were a haze of missed segues, very slow backsell, and an inability to count to five. I slept for another 12 hours.
The best alcohol experience I can remember was with my family one Christmas when my brother had a couple of bottles of Gavi de Gavi (good Italian white wine), which was almost sparkling and really dry and good, and went beautifully with the meal, and I had about a 2 hour steady buzz with good conversation.
The strangest alcohol-related situation I've had was the year and change that I didn't have alcohol at all. I was taking some meds that didn't allow drinking. That was the time I found out that almost all parties suck, because I was stone cold sober and I could clearly see people standing around fearfully or wandering from group to group sadly and aimlessly, pouring anesthesia into their faces. That was also the time I found that I only missed alcohol as wine or beer with dinner, and otherwise I could take it or leave it.
The scariest drinking I saw was at my newspaper job. The sales guys there were mostly end-stage alcohol and drug dependency cases. One guy drove a former ice cream truck to work, unlicensed and unregistered and weaving from lane to lane. He carried a mug of "coffee" around that was straight Jack Daniels. Two other guys were doing the cocaine and alcohol dance. Those bastards taught me how to drink: double greyhounds at the Two Guys from Italy downstairs from the office, black & tans at the pub down the street. I bet most of those guys are dead now.
"In cooperation with the Frida Kahlo family estate, Dorado, Pizzorni & Sons, LLC Importers is proud to announce the launch of Frida Kahlo tequila. This tequila is superior to others because it is elaborated in small batches through a 100% natural, handcrafted and traditional process. We only use the finest quality blue agaves and natural ingredients," said Jorge Gutierrez, President of Dorado, Pizzorni & Sons, LLC."It has been an exciting adventure to develop and launch a product that would characterize my Aunt Frida: her love for Mexico, her strength and her passion for life. Tequila, her favorite drink, accompanied her in the greatest moments of her life," said Kahlo's niece, Isolda P. Kahlo. "While searching in the region of Jalisco it was a unique opportunity and a great challenge to obtain the right quality, taste and pureness that would match Frida's expectations. Always taking care of the finest details, Frida Kahlo Tequila is a Super Premium Tequila that my family and I proudly present to the world, at the level and quality of the tequilas that Frida would definitely expect from her favorite drink."
Initially, Frida Kahlo Tequila will be launched in three major U.S. markets, including New York, Los Angeles, and Miami, as well as in Mexico, with plans to expand nationally in 2006.
Editor's note: Frida Kahlo was an alcoholic who drank a bottle a day of tequila. Unsurprisingly, some people are really pissed off about putting her on a liquor label. Via the always useful AdJab.
Edit:
namja provides us with their inevitable ad slogan: "Tequila Frida Kahlo: It'll put hair between your eyes."
