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It's comedy time again at my local coffee hole.

Since this place has the only large open patio around, smokers congregate. At first the management tried to segregate tobacco to a far corner of the patio. Possibly because of complaints from an adjacent beauty salon, they escalated to a complete ban, with the expected failure.

At most coffee joints this would result in a temporary security guard, or some customers being 86'd, or a return to a more reasonable policy. But this is not most coffee joints. At this café, a failed campaign results in a full-service Mediterranean opera including screaming exits, synchronized shrugging, rapid cycling bipolar pastry flinging, eyebrow duels, threats to multiple generations of the family, and soliloquys delivered at maximum volume towards the fast food place next door. Scenes from the current production include:

• Owner having yelling fight in Italian with cigar-smoking customer, resulting in unverified physical threats from said customer
   
• Fifteen to 20 anti-smoking signs all over the place, many facing each other less than 3 feet away
   
• Manager trying to stuff customer's cigarettes into her hoodie before owner sees them
   
• Owner attempting to get customers who are smoking in the parking lot to smoke around the other side of the fast food joint next door
   
• Owner threatening to close the place right now tonight if customers don't stop smoking
   
• Owner promising to close the place in a week if camera catches even one customer smoking
   
• Customers lining up patio umbrellas so that owner's camera can't see them smoke
   
• Departure of 2/3rd of the regular evening crowd

It makes me want to START smoking just so I can be part of the action.

I don't see a "for lease" sign on it any more. Wonder what's going in there?

[Poll #1003502]

http://substitute.livejournal.com/1508976.html

Comic Book Guy thinks late period Diedrich coffee was good. Hahahaha.

The old coffee house finally shut down and we had a proper wake. Some people showed up the afternoon of the day before, and a lot more showed up last night when the doors finally closed. I didn't get shots of everyone, but there are photos here of people I never got on camera before.

Goodbye, patio! This is the place where I made my best mistakes.





More photos in this set on flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ch/sets/72157594396389485/

It's opening day here at the Panera Bakery & Café on 17th Street in Costa Mesa and folks we're seeing a lot of unforced errors. I think that actually every order is being filled wrong in some way. Everyone's cheerful though, both the very young employees and the very bland Zero Day customers.

The Wi-Fi works and is free. It tries to launch some PORTAL PAGE and fails, and you can't get to Panera's own site. This suggests to me that someone reversed a firewall rule.

I can see the sign of the "new" Diedrich from here. Waving good-bye.

There's a patio of sorts and it's open until 9. Coffee's okay.

Saw Tom today, for the first time in more than 20 years. I went to high school with him and I think saw him once after that. In the meantime he's had a few careers and is currently fully employed saving the world. This is a damned good thing in that the world is in need of saving and Tom is both smart and on the side of the angels.

I tried to explain some of the more recent features of our locale including Mortgage Bro 'n' Ho Culture, the Vanguard Nice Christian Kid Death Star Attack, and the deadly affluenza of drugs and alcohol among the Kids These Days. Not sure if I was sufficiently descriptive.

I went away with the happy feeling of having reconnected, some good stories from both of us, and a sticker that says COALITION CONVOY / STAY BACK 50 METERS / DEADLY FORCE IS AUTHORIZED in English and Arabic. I think that is going to go on the laptop. I'll leave the rest of the storytelling to him, if he chooses to tell the stories.

On the way over there I was listening to Indie 103 (which I'm liking more and more) and it was Steve Jones' show. It was a crazy reunion show at that because Jonesy had John Lydon on the show and they were bullshitting and laughing about the Sex Pistols days. Best quote was from Lydon: "And we were very confused, as one ought to be."

Anyway they wrapped up the show as I was driving from the shrink's office to meet Tom at Kéan. Just as I drove past my alma mater, all decorated with happy cheerleader girls doing the splits, the radio spat out "God Save the Queen" and I realized that this was something like my 25th anniversary of driving past that high school blasting that song on my car radio.

As Tom said, "that still works."

I talk back to the car radio a lot, particularly when it's not making sense. Today I heard a commercial shilling for a local supermarket chain's loyalty program. The pitch was that you were supporting local schools because they'd give the kids a pencil for every 400,000 cucumbers sold, etc. The ad was pure SPIN selling, starting with "Education is so important. Our schools need new books and new computers all the time so children can progress. And there's something you can do to help!" At which point I yelled "YEAH, YOU COULD PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES!" That's when I noticed that my window was opening and that the motorcyclist next to me was grinning at me.

Dinner: Chilled poached salmon with mayonnaise and dill; toasted pita bread with a dollop of hummus and fresh ground black pepper; caprese salad with fresh tomatoes on vine, fresh ovolini mozzarella, fresh basil, and good olive oil. Time to prepare: 15 minutes.

I was at Kéan for just an hour or so today, to cool off and slurp a cold coffee beverage. Rich unhappy people have such scrunched-up, sour faces even when they're experiencing pleasures most of the world will never see. Looking dissatisfied when you're having a dark chocolate mocha milkshake in an air-conditioned cafe in Paradise just after buying an iPod must be difficult, but they manage it.

At Trader Joes a plastic surgery disasters woman in her fifties was dragging her husband around hectoring him about their purchases. She'd perch angrily next to some item and pick it up: "Do you want these? Do you like yellow mustard? I like Dijon mustard. Do you want it? Are we going to get Dijon mustard?" He was a tired Tommy Lee Jones who didn't say much except "Okay," or "Go ahead."

90 degrees and humid means that all the beautiful people were showing flesh today. Including the very genuinely beautiful ones and not just the ones who had purchased the standard of beauty as an aftermarket option. A six-footer surfer boy, all tanned abs and long bones and bleached hair-mp, was looking at frozen food next to a hourglass-figured blonde beach goddess with honey-colored skin and shockingly bright blue eyes. They were unaware that they were a Guess! ad because they were trying to figure out which kind of peas to get.

The flower shop next to Kéan has an appropriately fancy name, but their sign with their url on it looks like they're selling the flowers eaten by a demon rather than those painted by an Impressionist. It's not as obvious as "powergenitalia" but they should have realized.

I am currently maintaining crushes on at least three unavailable women. Go me!

In musical news, I'm going to see Steve Wynn this Friday night. It may well be a real Dream Syndicate reunion show of some kind. I have an extra ticket if you're interested and can go with or meet me at McCabe's Guitars in Santa Monica.

I have "Percy's Song" as done by Fairport Convention in my head.