substitute: (brainslug)
Once again it's time to review our talking points, goals, warnings, key initiatives, and do-its. It's more important than ever to keep a laser-like focus on our bullet points and remain at a nose-to-grindstone status. Below are some non-negotiable items from the 100,000 foot level:
  • Steroid and doping scandals in scrapbooking: zero tolerance.

  • Compulsory mark-to-market pricing of school lunches.

  • Can "green jobs" truly be color-blind?

  • The war on Secretaries' Day

  • Our national parks: boondoggle, or force majeure?

  • Punitive tariffs on boy bands

  • Flossing: another liberal lie?
If you have any questions or comments please don't hesitate to contact me directly. My door is always open.
substitute: (phrenology head)
Because I am in the coils of COBRA, and this has not yet started up, my medical coverage is in a very high-rent limbo. In order to get my prescriptions refilled this month I have to pay cash. I take four head pills long-term. Can you guess what the total bill per month is for these four, cash over the counter, no insurance?

dream of a number and CLICK! )
substitute: (boothdog)
Right after I saw Bob yesterday, he was pedaling home when accosted by Costa Mesa's finest.

Picture Bob in a big straw hat, reflective bright yellow vest, riding a bike, towing a trailer on which there is a blue dog who is barking happily.

The cops decided he was the one who had just robbed a bank. Bob's description of the event is below:
Uttered by a blue dog on a trailer and overheard by a passerby...In front of the trailered dog lay sprawled at gunpoint his unphased owner,muttering some bile ladden filth and saying things like "What the fuck" etc. long story short the dog confessed and both parties were released .....fuck me! what is it?break out the Kool Aid and jam for the fucking bridge??!! beyond Keystone we need pictures of me in bike outfit/bank robbery getaway outfit! later
Some days I can't get enough of my town.
substitute: (rejected yield crash)
It appears the Playboy bloggers may have screwed up their investigation badly.

Whether or not their basic premise is correct, they clearly made some bad mistakes and implied things they shouldn't have. Failure of journalism, especially fact checking.
substitute: (oldman bad computer)
All of these "25 random things about me" and "answer these 10 questions" chain quizzes will work very well as data mining when you're trying to figure out the personal Q&A information used in website security systems.
substitute: (atticus)
From an AP story about the Australian fires at via [ profile] zebulon_y:

hurr durr meterology

Oh, and we have chaparral, dude. With the SAME TREES.
substitute: (blog about broccoli)
From today's Los Angeles Times Magazine I bring you some pullquotes from an article about the Pelican Hill Resort in Newport Coast. The whole article is worth reading: Heaven is in the Details
Marie Friedlander, Certified YogaGolf Instructor
“Breathe through your nose,” says Friedlander in smooth, even tones. High atop the course at the Pacific View Tee, three middle-aged male golfers stand barefoot on mats with their arms stretched overhead and palms together. “Become aware of your stance. Stack your spine. Stare at your drishti.” The two-hour session concludes with the men remarking how much more flexible and relaxed they feel. One golfer, who had complained of lower back pain, heads to a canvas tent, where his swing is videotaped. He compares it with a previously taped swing playing on a nearby laptop. He smiles.

I'm not sure how a 5000-year-old Indian religious practice works with the conspicious-consumption ritual sport of the American executive, but I bet both can be done pompously. A brilliant move, though; now they can sell yoga hours to the men and not just the women. —Ed.
As for the attention to detail, it’s as if all the veteran hospitality professionals brought on board sat in one room and asked themselves, What detail would I like to add? What would contribute to the perfect experience? That’s why there are five types of coffee in each villa, a choice of soaps and Villeroy & Boch china; why no guest will ever have to request toothpaste, a razor or shaving gel; and why such touches as orchids in the sitting rooms and expansive patios with chaise lounges and tables contribute to the feeling that you’re staying at a close friend’s vacation home. The details go beyond the guest rooms: Risotto is finished in a 28-inch wheel of Parmesan and served in individual silver dishes; the spa features temperature-controlled beds and a waiting room full of art books; and the lobby is a study in opulent minimalism.

(The print edition has a photo of a chef spooning a saffron-rich risotto into a hollow that has been cut into an entire wheel of parmigiano. If there is a purpose here other than excess for its own sake, I'd love to hear it. —Ed.)

(Also, the phrase "opulent minimalism" deserves an award or a terrible punishment, probably both. —Ed.)
substitute: (asphalt)
I've been to the pharmacy twice in the last two days, once to leave off a prescription and once to pick one up. Both days the line has been at least 15 people long to pick up and about half that to drop off. This is maybe 3 times as long as usual.

The employees said "sorry, our hours are cut." When I came in today I turned around and walked out because I didn't have an hour free to wait. Fortunately I didn't need the prescription right away.

If upper middle class people with good benefits in a resort town in Southern California are now waiting an hour to get their prescriptions, because the drugstore chain has cut hours way down, what's it like right now in Wal-Mart land? My guess: not so great.

I've also noticed discounters like Target carrying less inventory and less variety. If I don't get to Target before noon on a Saturday the chance of finding the lightbulb I need is halved.

Something went down at the bank in the same shopping center the other day and they have an armed security guard now. That's new.

It's not the end of the world, especially here. But if I can notice the quality of everyday life slipping here? It must be getting really special in poorer bits.
substitute: (muppetshow)
"Connecting the intertwining strands are a group of beautiful, blonde young men and women who sleep all day and party all night, doing drugs -- and one another --with abandon, never realizing that they are dancing on the edge of a volcano."

One of the worst things about substance abuse is unsafe dancing. But who the hell put the dance floor next to the volcano in the first place? It's not even near the bar, and people keep knocking over the safety cones.

And go get someone else to connect the intertwining strands. These people are incompetent.
substitute: (lamers)
Attention to the following groups of people:
  • Bar owners
  • Movie screencap posters
  • Homeowners with new large televisions
  • Video website owners
  • Video uploaders to said sites
  • Home video enthusiasts

I mean if you want to spend four figures on a piece of equipment and misuse it it's your deal but I have to look at this one. Stretching everything so it reaches the edge of the screen is not the same as making it look good. And why the fuck would you want to post a screencap online of your favorite movie with everyone looking like they're in a God-damned funhouse?


Okay whew. None of this is important. But somehow lately the unimportant things are the easiest ones to yell about.
substitute: (oldman bad computer)
So, LJ has started circling the drain.

Any bets on "smooth transition" versus "good morning your entire blog is gone"?
substitute: (rejected anus bleeding)
I just very suddenly got a fever. This should be fun.
substitute: (chinatown drive)
It's comedy time again at my local coffee hole.

Since this place has the only large open patio around, smokers congregate. At first the management tried to segregate tobacco to a far corner of the patio. Possibly because of complaints from an adjacent beauty salon, they escalated to a complete ban, with the expected failure.

At most coffee joints this would result in a temporary security guard, or some customers being 86'd, or a return to a more reasonable policy. But this is not most coffee joints. At this café, a failed campaign results in a full-service Mediterranean opera including screaming exits, synchronized shrugging, rapid cycling bipolar pastry flinging, eyebrow duels, threats to multiple generations of the family, and soliloquys delivered at maximum volume towards the fast food place next door. Scenes from the current production include:
  • Owner having yelling fight in Italian with cigar-smoking customer, resulting in unverified physical threats from said customer
  • Fifteen to 20 anti-smoking signs all over the place, many facing each other less than 3 feet away
  • Manager trying to stuff customer's cigarettes into her hoodie before owner sees them
  • Owner attempting to get customers who are smoking in the parking lot to smoke around the other side of the fast food joint next door
  • Owner threatening to close the place right now tonight if customers don't stop smoking
  • Owner promising to close the place in a week if camera catches even one customer smoking
  • Customers lining up patio umbrellas so that owner's camera can't see them smoke
  • Departure of 2/3rd of the regular evening crowd
It makes me want to START smoking just so I can be part of the action.
substitute: (jack)
henry t hyde

Meet Henry T. Nicholas, local billionaire and James Bond villain. Henry was the head of Broadcom, a big microchip company. Henry stands six foot six, has a dungeon under his house, slips Ecstasy to unknowing dinner companions, does meth and coke, has a prostitution problem, has armed guards patrolling his home, and flies around in a private jet with the drugs and the prostitutes. At least, this is what the prosecutors and some angry associates say, and some of it is beyond denial, in particular the dungeon. He is also on the hook for securities fraud at his company.

Christ, what an asshole. But just look at the guy! Wow!

Details, lurid and otherwise, are in this nicely done Vanity Fair article
substitute: (winnebago man)
It's official; we've broken the stupid barrier now. I just read about 10 different opinions about the U.S. election and each one made my head hurt worse than all the rest. Identity politics, personality politics, talk radio victims, Orwellian doublespeak, fuck all of it.

I have my vote made up and the rest is just noise now. I'm not going to pay attention to anything anyone says, including what I say to myself. As St. Jack Rebney said in the Book of Winnebago:

substitute: (lamers)
Actual photo caption from our local rag:

[redacted list of children] all enjoy some exocit fruits and vegtables at Sonora Elementarys Nutrition night
substitute: (reich)
I can't wait for journalists to discover other teen risks such as "buttsex," "alco-hol," and "military enlistment." I hope Kim Komando was on vacation when someone wrote this, because I remember her as smart and funny and pretty much sane.

Web delivers new worry for parents: Digital drugs

We all know that music can alter your mood. Sad songs can make you cry. Upbeat songs may give you an energy boost. But can music create the same effects as illegal drugs?

This seems like a ridiculous question. But websites are targeting your children with so-called digital drugs. These are audio files designed to induce drug-like effects.

All your child needs is a music player and headphones.

actually, it is ridiculous. sorry )
substitute: (smartypants)
(CNN) -- Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards admitted Friday to having an extramartial affair in 2006 with a woman who worked on his campaign

[SFX: The United States Air Force Marching Band, "Mademoiselle D'Armentieres"]


substitute: (Default)

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