substitute

I have lots of dial-in meetings for my job. Some of us are on mobile phones, some on office phones, some in a room together with a speakerphone. More than one person is on a speakerphone at any given time. Many of my coworkers are quick, verbal people who talk over each other.

For months my frustration has risen. I can't talk or hear most of the time. Small noises near speakerphones are tremendously magnified: huge clacking keyboards, rumbling mice, ghastly gurgling mucus, and rustling paper like thunder.

Duelling cheap switches on speakerphones result in unintentional arguments, and questions that can't be answered because everyone is talking over everyone else. Frequently the system overloads and only a buzz or shriek can be heard.

Today I had a breakthrough. This is a wonderful industrial/cutup anarcho-postmodern noise piece. Cabaret Voltaire and Adrian Sherwood are in the house. We are smashing the already smashed mirror! We're going beyond! WE ARE ART DAMAGE!

But enough rejoicing. It's time for me to get back to tuning feedback into the mix of bug report discussions and the hellacious crash of plastic water bottles. My JUICES are FLOWING!!

Jerkcity translated to Japanese and back doesn't really change the horror of configuring a backup system, it just provides more of the emotional experience associated with the task.

MASTER 113 # /USR/AMANDA/JT - U? XC0D610 ZC0D610: THE LOAD TO ZLOT THE CARTRIDGE? BUT YOU DID NOT OPEN FILEZ, (CV1): CORRECTION 3 OF UNIT 0. 10.5 SECONDS (461904 BYTES/S) 8543515 BYTES WHICH ARE RECEIVED 4.4 EVERYTHING WHY OBTAINED CLIENTZ, THE PEARL /HOME/FTP/MN WHICH IS GIVEN (/HOME/WEB/NM TO ZIMILAR) THINK THE BOOK CORRECTING OF BYTES/S WHICH IS SHOWN WITH THE FAILURE OF RPC WHERE THE RANGE NIZ.COM WAS NOT DIVIDED IN DOUBT, - CLNTUDP_CREA

I really like, especially, the fact that I'm making a tape machine do possibly irreversible things fifty miles away.

I haven't had time or energy to blodge much. Haven't been keeping up on other people, either.

My life is a blur of medical bullshit, entertainment news, unix sysadmin tasks, spyware, and spam. Lots and lots of spyware and spam. In lieu of telling you lots of boring details about this I will paste a typical reading item for me lately below.

Content analysis details: (28.0 points, 5.0 required)

pts rule name description
---- ---------------------- --------------------------------------------------
1.1 EXTRA_MPART_TYPE Header has extraneous Content-type:...type= entry
0.1 FORGED_RCVD_HELO Received: contains a forged HELO
0.0 DK_POLICY_SIGNSOME Domain Keys: policy says domain signs some mails
2.1 TVD_FW_GRAPHIC_ID1 BODY: TVD_FW_GRAPHIC_ID1
0.4 HTML_30_40 BODY: Message is 30% to 40% HTML
1.8 HTML_IMAGE_ONLY_24 BODY: HTML: images with 2000-2400 bytes of words
0.0 HTML_MESSAGE BODY: HTML included in message
3.5 BAYES_99 BODY: Bayesian spam probability is 99 to 100%
[score: 1.0000]
1.5 RAZOR2_CF_RANGE_E8_51_100 Razor2 gives engine 8 confidence level
above 50%
[cf: 100]
0.5 RAZOR2_CHECK Listed in Razor2 (http://razor.sf.net/)
0.5 RAZOR2_CF_RANGE_51_100 Razor2 gives confidence level above 50%
[cf: 100]
4.0 RCVD_IN_BL_SPAMCOP_NET RBL: Received via a relay in bl.spamcop.net
[Blocked - see <http://www.spamcop.net/bl.shtml?80.181.195.106>]
1.6 URIBL_SBL Contains an URL listed in the SBL blocklist
[URIs: uaikq.hk]
3.0 URIBL_BLACK Contains an URL listed in the URIBL blacklist
[URIs: uaikq.hk]
3.8 URIBL_AB_SURBL Contains an URL listed in the AB SURBL blocklist
[URIs: uaikq.hk]
1.0 PART_CID_STOCK Has a spammy image attachment (by Content-ID)
1.0 PART_CID_STOCK_LESS Has a spammy image attachment (by Content-ID,
more specific)
1.0 STOCK_IMG_HTML Stock spam image part, with distinctive HTML
1.0 STOCK_IMG_HDR_FROM Stock spam image part, with distinctive From line

Unless a miracle occurs in the next 48 hours, I'm going to be on disability or unemployed next week. The new regime at work requires my position to be 9-5 in an office and I'm not physically capable of that currently. After five years I have a near-instant ultimatum to do the Dilbert or leave.

The prognosis for my neurofeedback treatment is that I should be in the period now where improvement occurs, but that's roughly a two-month period according to my practitioner. That's not an acceptable timeframe for my bosses. So, depending on bureaucracy and things I don't understand well enough to predict, I'll either go on temporary disabiliity and re-evaluate at some point for possible full employment, or just lose my job.

Either way my income is about to dive. I have debt and I'm bad with money, and all the therapeutic interventions require cash too. I'm also bad at filing claims, with the result that I'm way behind in getting reimbursed for things. And anything that might speed recovery requires yet more cash.

This has left me in the unfortunate position of being that middle-aged geek who has to ask his family for an allowance. I don't enjoy the stereotype, but it beats actual poverty. I shall try to feel lucky about that part and rise above the shame.

The Exploding Aardvark linked me to a YouTube of a dark, wonderful, darker, incredible, meaty Kids In The Hall sketch: SAUSAGES!!!!

This is how I imagine odradak's life in Portland, somehow.

I'm on call, the system for which I'm responsible blows up and needs restarting about every 2 hours, and it's not getting fixed any time soon. This is similar to having a baby without the poo but also without the promise of a future. If this goes on all night tonight I am going to be Lieutenant Colonel Grumpy Q. Asshole of the Royal Annoyance Force tomorrow.

I genuinely like prunes. You're not supposed to, because they're funny (P sound, associated with shitting and old people). But I really like them.

I saw two Bentley coupés, a Ferrari 612 Scaglietta, a Lamborghini Gallardo, and a Maserati Quattroporte on the road today. The wealth around here is approaching Kuwaiti levels. As a spectator sport it's fascinating. I saw the larval form of a soccer mom today at Trader Joe's. She was about 19, probably an OCC or Vanguard student, fake 'n' bake tan, very skinny, pants slipping off hips, Hollister sweatshirt. She was purchasing three bottles of tequila, eight avocados, and an energy bar. She left in a late model BMW two-door.

The kids working for minimum at the fast food joint I went to were so genuinely friendly, upbeat, and competent that it broke my heart, after seeing her zoom off into her perfect life.

Would you rather always be right, or always get the truth?

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!

I'M UP BRIGHT 'N' EARLY TO HEAD OFF TO AN ALL-DAY MEETING IN DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES! I'VE HAD A NOURISHING BREAKFAST OF ROUGHLY EIGHT OUNCES OF COTTAGE CHEESE, THREE CUPS OF COFFEE, AND ALL APPROPRIATE MEDICATIONS. SOON I'LL SHAVE, GET IN THE OL' COUPE, AND HEAD INTO THE ENERGIZING SWIM OF TRAFFIC!

HOT DAMN, THIS IS A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!

Power outage in the office; UPS-protected machines eventually shut down due to extended power outage; alerting system goes nuts; alerting system does not stop being nuts after outage resolved; mysterious issues remaining after end of outage even though all machines were on UPS and cleanly shut down and restarted; blowjobs; suicide; Heil Hitler.