substitute

salome_st_john also if I NEVER see another roller derby photo again I will be so excited and I have friends in roller derby I AM SO SICK OF IT

substitute yup. we should franchise it to junior high schools and retire rich

salome_st_john oh christ best idea ever

substitute has the roller derby cute girls indie boys movie happened yet? it'll be like the Singles or Breakfast Club for this generation of blurpsters. The Postal Service playing as our heroine goes for the gold. Pardon me while I have a small seizure, here

salome_st_john ONE BLEACH MARTUNI COMING UP

substitute GLOBBLE
The sounds of the 90s, the roller derby excitement of the millennium, and the girls you love: It's Henry Rollins' Saturday Night Derby show! With special guest host Ben Gibbard and musical appearances by AFI, Ozomatli, and Juliette and the Licks!

salome_st_john I just peed

substitute I'm going to hell, aren't I.

salome_st_john luckily I'll be driving

From our "Christ, what an asshole" desk here's the promo copy for 24K Entertainment, who are inexplicably arriving here in Costa Mesa.

This is what a club DJ sounds like when he gets big, big dreams. He sounds like J&H Productions:

Today, 24K emphasizes an energetic, upscale, social nightlife environment for people who enjoy lavish extravagance. With its marketing debut as a nightlife promotion, 24k offers décor and ambience touched with golden accents, elite dancers and a socially exclusive environment. The 24k nightclub is currently in negotiations to expand its nightlife marketing promotion into major metropolitan cities domestically and internationally in select established venues. This expansion will lead into the premiere of branded 24K product lines including bottled water, energy drink, liquor, monthly magazine, calendars TV & radio productions and a 24K sportswear line for men & women.

AND IN THE STADIUMS AND COLISEUMS PERTAINING TO THE LABEL INDUSTRY AND MAJOR PERFORMING ARTISTS SUCH AS

ahhhlisaaah reports that:

Vince Neil, lead singer of Motley Crue, is headlining a three-night MOTLEY CRUISE in January that will sail to the Bahamas from Florida - he'll be featured with his solo band on the ship.

Cruises, like second-rank Vegas hotels, are the natural destination of has-been entertainers. I'm not sure whether this one would be better or worse than the Styx Cruise, but it doesn't have the wonderful cultural resonance of that one anyway.

Secret police, makers of secret police fanclub TV show meet

This is worth reading just for the million dollar phrase "Moderated by Rush Limbaugh."

I didn't know that 24's sets person designed the operations center for the National Counterterrorism Thingy. That's hilarious.

Also. Clarence Thomas?

Also. Chertoff took time for this?

changeng is playing tonight and I plan to be there. Hope to see some of you too.

There are several categories of post-funny people. Some of them were funny, then became cocaine addicts, and then got off cocaine and lost their funny. They should have either avoided cocaine in the first place or never quit. These are marked with a "C".

Some other post-funny people were funny and then became political and serious and have lost their funny, but do not know this. These are marked with a "P". These people do things that have the structure of skit or standup comedy but are just pissed off political rants, and not even satire. They're sad.

Finally there is a third category of idiopathic funny-loss; people who were funny but are not now amusing, and the reason is not known.

• Dennis Miller (P,C)
  
  
• Janeane Garofalo (P)
  
  
• Dick Gregory (P)
  
  
• Robin Williams (C)
  
  
• Dana Carvey
  
  
• Bill Cosby (P)
  
  
• Eddie Murphy (C)
  
  
• David Letterman

Ms. Garofalo quit alcohol which may give her some equivalent to a "C", although cocaine seems to have a magical humor-removing effect.