substitute: (me by hils)
I met with Bob at Kean today so I could order a new automatic clutch for his Whizzer. (No, really!)

The patio was packed with moms and babies because the new expensive baby food store was having a grand opening Halloween event.

"Expensive baby food store" falls short of the mark. "Pomme Bébé" looks at first to be a high-end salon, art gallery, and Apple Store in one spot. Whiteness gleams tastefully. Sheer ivory surfaces, smock-clad employees, menu of the day in the style of an ice cream store. They sell organic and otherwise perfect food for infants.

So as Bob and I ordered bike parts on the Internet and bullshitted and played with his dog Mancha, this river of super-rich mothers flowed. They were all 20 and perfect forever, and their babies were all 6 months old and perfect forever. The baby carriages themselves were worth more than my car. They stretch across the sidewalk and have racks and racks of toys clacking above their passengers. More than a few were double wides with twin skulls bobbling in them.

Mancha slumped on our feet in a heavily adoring way and we skritched him. My iced tea was good.
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Cardamom, take me away...
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Three Bro Dudes

When they came in, Executive Slacks was skating. He wanted me to know that Spiky Blond Hair was "the weirdo Screech." They were flying.
substitute: (coffee kean)
Espresso over ice, a little sugar, a little half and half.

Espresso over Ice
substitute: (aarg)
Fulla churchians as usual. Very loud International Coffees/No Sex in the City women near me churchin' it up. Youth group inside meeting.

The women are alternating hymn singing and laughing about relationships and being high on life.

The youth group noisily disbands outside near me. A guy hands me a CD. "Want this CD? It's about Jesus."

"No thanks."

...pause...

"I hear there's a book, too."

There is a five second silence.

"Uhh... Umm... Yeah! It's a er... Good Book."
substitute: (1967)
Tom at Kéan Coffee

Saw Tom today, for the first time in more than 20 years. I went to high school with him and I think saw him once after that. In the meantime he's had a few careers and is currently fully employed saving the world. This is a damned good thing in that the world is in need of saving and Tom is both smart and on the side of the angels.

I tried to explain some of the more recent features of our locale including Mortgage Bro 'n' Ho Culture, the Vanguard Nice Christian Kid Death Star Attack, and the deadly affluenza of drugs and alcohol among the Kids These Days. Not sure if I was sufficiently descriptive.

I went away with the happy feeling of having reconnected, some good stories from both of us, and a sticker that says COALITION CONVOY / STAY BACK 50 METERS / DEADLY FORCE IS AUTHORIZED in English and Arabic. I think that is going to go on the laptop. I'll leave the rest of the storytelling to him, if he chooses to tell the stories.

On the way over there I was listening to Indie 103 (which I'm liking more and more) and it was Steve Jones' show. It was a crazy reunion show at that because Jonesy had John Lydon on the show and they were bullshitting and laughing about the Sex Pistols days. Best quote was from Lydon: "And we were very confused, as one ought to be."

Anyway they wrapped up the show as I was driving from the shrink's office to meet Tom at Kéan. Just as I drove past my alma mater, all decorated with happy cheerleader girls doing the splits, the radio spat out "God Save the Queen" and I realized that this was something like my 25th anniversary of driving past that high school blasting that song on my car radio.

As Tom said, "that still works."
substitute: (asphalt)
Car Wash WIndshield

I talk back to the car radio a lot, particularly when it's not making sense. Today I heard a commercial shilling for a local supermarket chain's loyalty program. The pitch was that you were supporting local schools because they'd give the kids a pencil for every 400,000 cucumbers sold, etc. The ad was pure SPIN selling, starting with "Education is so important. Our schools need new books and new computers all the time so children can progress. And there's something you can do to help!" At which point I yelled "YEAH, YOU COULD PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES!" That's when I noticed that my window was opening and that the motorcyclist next to me was grinning at me.

Dinner: Chilled poached salmon with mayonnaise and dill; toasted pita bread with a dollop of hummus and fresh ground black pepper; caprese salad with fresh tomatoes on vine, fresh ovolini mozzarella, fresh basil, and good olive oil. Time to prepare: 15 minutes.

I was at Kéan for just an hour or so today, to cool off and slurp a cold coffee beverage. Rich unhappy people have such scrunched-up, sour faces even when they're experiencing pleasures most of the world will never see. Looking dissatisfied when you're having a dark chocolate mocha milkshake in an air-conditioned cafe in Paradise just after buying an iPod must be difficult, but they manage it.

At Trader Joes a plastic surgery disasters woman in her fifties was dragging her husband around hectoring him about their purchases. She'd perch angrily next to some item and pick it up: "Do you want these? Do you like yellow mustard? I like Dijon mustard. Do you want it? Are we going to get Dijon mustard?" He was a tired Tommy Lee Jones who didn't say much except "Okay," or "Go ahead."

90 degrees and humid means that all the beautiful people were showing flesh today. Including the very genuinely beautiful ones and not just the ones who had purchased the standard of beauty as an aftermarket option. A six-footer surfer boy, all tanned abs and long bones and bleached hair-mp, was looking at frozen food next to a hourglass-figured blonde beach goddess with honey-colored skin and shockingly bright blue eyes. They were unaware that they were a Guess! ad because they were trying to figure out which kind of peas to get.

The flower shop next to Kéan has an appropriately fancy name, but their sign with their url on it looks like they're selling the flowers eaten by a demon rather than those painted by an Impressionist. It's not as obvious as "powergenitalia" but they should have realized.

I am currently maintaining crushes on at least three unavailable women. Go me!

In musical news, I'm going to see Steve Wynn this Friday night. It may well be a real Dream Syndicate reunion show of some kind. I have an extra ticket if you're interested and can go with or meet me at McCabe's Guitars in Santa Monica.

I have "Percy's Song" as done by Fairport Convention in my head.
substitute: (coffee kean)
It's too hot for Newport. This is unfair. I am now going to Kéan to drink something cold in their air-conditioned palace of caffeine. I'll be there until 7 ish most likely. Seeya there.
substitute: (Default)

Reflected Coffee, originally uploaded by conradh.

Sunday means iced coffee and a book outside somewhere. These days it's Kean Coffee.

substitute: (staypuft)

Psychopathic Parking, originally uploaded by conradh.

For some folks it's not enough just to buy the F350 Super Duty truck. Or to buy the crew cab version. Or to get the "FX4 Offroad" package, lift it, and load it up with accessories. No, the important part here is causing a confrontation of some kind, using the truck, so that there can be some manhood and throwdowns and getting up in someone's grill, as they say. A good way to do this is to take two parking spots in a suburban parking lot where you don't belong, when all the other trucks are at the far end of the lot because their drivers were grownups.

Katie

Mar. 6th, 2006 12:13 am
substitute: (buscemi)
Katie in the Window
substitute: (coffee kean)
Idling at Kéan with Mike (used to have a big black beard Mike) today, I saw a stream of Newport Beach stereotypes including:
  • 85-year-old man with perfectly trimmed white beard parking a brand new $200,000 200mph Porsche Turbo sports car, which I then observed to have an automatic transmission

  • A young woman of classic magazine cover head-turning beauty accompanied by two rich and tough-looking beefy older guys. The three of them were having a business meeting, no doubt about her career. They toasted one another with Bubble-Up. The two guys looked serious the way Mafia guys look serious. She looked depressed, which in someone with her looks comes out as a pouty, puppyish yearning look. She smiled once, revealing 47 very bright white teeth.

  • This woman's Ghost of Newport Past showed up, too: a 14-year-old future model, all dressed up in fluffy sweater and tight jeans and slightly-too-grownup heels. Same perfect model face. Her mother was identical and 35, with a very hard and focused look to her.

  • An assortment of very large expensive cars with grilles on the front that looked like BIG MONSTER FANG TEETH MOUTHS. Each of these cars was larger than the others. Several very large diesel trucks driven by small, finely-built men in pressed jeans are included in this category.

  • One 80something gentleman all covered in liver spots and combover who was trying to guide in his friend Mike to the place. He kept getting the names of things wrong, and telling Mike that he wanted to meet him at Plums but they had an hour wait "even after I told them who you ARE". There were at least five of these calls. Two other people showed up to sit with Liver Spots but Mike never showed. His dog, an ancient cocker spaniel named Annie, was doing about as well as he was and kept walking into things like brick walls and trees and then harrumphing.

  • An outrrrrrageously Italian employee of Kéan. This guy was maybe 30 and looked a lot like Antonio Banderas. He was wearing the kind of lacy, frilly shirt that only guys from the Mediterranean can wear. He was slightly sweaty and had a huge 500,000 watt grin and whooshy airy hair that he held back with a headband. I don't know how he carried it off, but he was every housewife's dream European waiter/lover. Jean-Luc!

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