substitute: (lysenko)
Whatever else Susan Sontag did, she gets a ticket into heaven for Illness as Metaphor (link to isbn.nu).

For those who haven't read this invaluable little book, here's a thumbnail: She looks at medical conditions are treated as moral problems instead of as diseases. Her examples are tuberculosis and cancer, and in a later supplement, AIDS.

The telling point she makes is this: If an illness is both threatening and mysterious, so that it can kill or disable at any time but is not understood or curable, its cause will be assigned to something socially determined. TB was thought to result from too passionate and expressive a personality, and sufferers were told to lie down and stop reading poetry and having romances. Later, cancer was ascribed to holding in , and patients were blamed for not expressing themselves.

In both of these cases an inexplicable affliction was linked to a social prejudice, and without evidence this was accepted. And in both cases the patient's behavior was blamed. It's easy to see why AIDS was added in her supplement. Another mysterious and threatening ailment was entirely blamed on moral and social problems, so that the actual biological problems were poorly investigated and patients were blamed and ostracized.

Since cancer and AIDS are still deadly and mysterious in affluent societies, the problem remains. Any theory that presents a moral enemy as the cause of these diseases will be accepted by the appropriate group. If your group dislikes pharmaceutical companies, governments, synthetic chemicals, homosexuals, meat, science itself, or any other socially contentious force, then moral certainty will be applied to medical uncertainty.

Some of these fears may be accurate. Cancers can be caused by trace amounts of metals or chemicals, or by radiation. Birth defects and crippling illnesses result from exposure to toxins and infectious agents in pregnancy. People did get AIDS because governments and medical agencies chose not to screen transfused blood, and people died of AIDS because of malign neglect by the same authorities.

But the problem remains technical at its heart, and not moral. Sassafras oil is a natural herbal carcinogen. Deadly nuclear radiation can cure cancer. AIDS doesn't care if your behavior is socially approved; it justs kills you. Magical thinking will sometimes solve your problem, but it's more likely to make things worse for yourself and others.

A post today by [livejournal.com profile] ofmonsters reminded me of some of the current villains in the alt-culture world: vaccination, cow's milk, refined sugar, white flour, processed foods, the Western diet, gluten, "toxins," etc.

Some of the things in this list are bad news for people with particular medical problems. Other things in this list are worthy of investigation for basic personal health: too much processed food and dairy and a diet rich in meat will in general make people less healthy, for example. And some of them are meaningless. "Toxins," for example, always refers to some nebulous and poorly defined environmental evil that must be cleansed, rather than to actual known toxic substances, all of which are different from each other. White flour has less fiber in it, but is not otherwise evil. Refined white sugar and brown sugar and honey and rice syrup have different flavors but provide the same dangerous blast of calories.

The vaccination fear is paranoiac. Vaccination is a symbol of government power, scientific arrogance, and threats to children. In a state of ignorance it's understandable that someone would fear this. Without vaccination we have piles of dead children and later piles of dead adults. It's not negotiable. Tagging vaccines with autism (another poorly understood and incurable affliction) gave the whole counterculture a perfect condensed symbol for their dislike of white coats, compulsory medical treatment, and the medical-industrial complex. But they're wrong, and being wrong about vaccination threatens everyone.

What I have to say to these fearful people is this.

1) Read Sontag, or at least work at understanding the concepts she talks about. Watch out for moral certainty when you're solving medical problems.

2) Your fears of government, pharmaceutical companies, toxic substances, radiation, bad diets, dangerous assumptions built into Western culture, and the centralized corporate meat-centric incompetent business of Big Food are all completely legitimate. There are deadly problems and bad people and very poorly organized institutions.

So we do have big problems, and the problems are similar in kind to the ones you're seeing. The problems, however, do not result from science. They result from bad engineering and wickedness. The scientific method is how we know these things went wrong. That's why we know that heavy metals in our food are bad, and that factory farming kills, and that it's better to cut down on the cow's milk and eat more fiber, and that cancer can result from contamination of food and water.

The scientific method is also why we know that vaccination is a good idea, that sassafras is a carcinogen even though it's natural, that "toxins" means many different things and not one, that chelation is a dangerous treatment for specific situations, and that white sugar and honey will give a diabetic the same dangerous load of concentrated calories. It's also how we found out that stomach ulcers were often caused by an infection and not by "stress."

The antidote to unreasoned panic is not less science, but more. The scientific method is, to paraphrase Churchill, the worst way of interpreting illness except for all of the other methods tried. This includes the method Sontag clearly outlines. If someone says that the illness is due to "stress" or "toxins" or "Western diet" or "gay lifestyle" or "the government," stop and watch closely.

Choosing an attractive moral or social cause for your terrifying unexplained problem may feel satisfying. Don't take the bait.
substitute: (george smiley)
The Los Angeles Times Magazine has been in decline at least since 1986.

They have tried to recast themselves as the New York Times Magazine, as a Southern California Lifestyle Thing like Sunset Magazine, as maybe four other things. Nothing works.

This week they managed to hit a new low with a feature article on a young woman named Cory Kennedy.

Cory has been internet famous since she was 15, which was in 2005. Someone took pictures of her and posted them, and the phenomenon grew as those things can. She is a pretty girl, and her prettiness is of the gamine waif variety. She will look 15 until she's 25.

The Times Magazine article is the typical deploring/promoting titillation piece. They at once portray her as the "grew up too fast" pop culture victim and as a high-flying teen hottie. They play this game very well. They also made sure to post forty-four pictures of her to accompany the article on the Net.

Ephebophilic disasters like this aren't new. The current crop probably started with the Guess? ads in the 1980s. The "new" men's magazines are all over it. It's creepy. The way this article presented it was particularly damaging, though. She's presented as someone who did this of her own initiative and was in charge all along. It started when she was 15. This appears to confirm predators' belief that their young victims are behaving as adults and not being manipulated.

Edie Sedgwick died in her 20s. I wonder how long Cory will make it?
substitute: (smartypants)
I have heard a lot of conspiracy theories about prominent people: that they are actually evil space lizards or controlled by same, that they are all Illuminati or Masons, that they are somehow demon-possessed or in the pay of warring alien races. This is clearly foolish and probably schizophrenic.

I have an alternate theory. I believe that in the early 1980s, shortly before he died, Andy Kaufman had himself cloned. The Kaufman clones grew quickly and were dispersed into the community, and there were thousands of them. Today, almost every prominent person in politics, entertainment, the arts, academia, the military, and media is an exact copy of Andy Kaufman.

This explains a number of things. How many times in the last few years have you heard someone say "This is insane! It's like an Andy Kaufman routine!"? How many rumors have there been that Andy isn't actually dead, but faked it and is in disguise? How many times have you looked at someone on TV or read something in the paper and though "Are daily events just riffing on Andy, or what?"

Locally we had a school board member named Steve Rocco who caused yet another set of Andy-lives rumors last month. The so-called "Borat" phenomenon is clearly Latka. The Turkmenbashi, Santorum, almost all bloggers, Zacarias Moussaoui, the list of Kaufman projects just goes on and on. How much of American public discourse now resembles 1970s pro wrestling? Nearly all of it!

There's only one way to find out. I propose mandatory Andy DNA testing. How else will we know how much of our society is being controlled by his one last, best perfect performance?

And think about it. You could be an Andy too, and not know it yet.
substitute: (legion badge)
I briefly mentioned this the other night but it's been bothering me. When I saw those drunk people ineptly pawing each other outside my friend's place Saturday night, I had a realization. The woman was wearing the typical "grown-up" woman's Halloween costume, which I call the "slutty noun." Low-cut everything, fishnet stockings. It's basically a Playboy Bunny outfit. That wasn't the part the struck me, though. The man was wearing probably a pirate outfit, but I wasn't sure. And that's when it hit me.

Not only do the women dress as if they were available for instant sex, the men all dress as rapists.

The male costumes I saw were all some variant of this: soldier, pimp, pirate, "savage," rapper, baller. Just about all the guys' costumes I saw that night were a version of "permitted to rape."

There's your party. The women all dress as prostitutes and serving girls. The men all dress as rapists. And then they get drunk and play it out.

"Play" is where it goes for most people, and i'm not suggesting that everyone who dresses up goofy and has too many drinks is going to end up as a crime scene. I still don't like it, though. You can have a lot of fun — and friends of mine did! — goofing around dressed as Borat or Log Lady or Cinderella or the Cookie Monster and enjoying the masquerade experience. If you're going to play out a rape fantasy, though, it might be a good idea to know that beforehand and know who's really down for that instead of just getting hammered and finding out.
substitute: (Default)
One of the worst things you can call someone now is "well-meaning."

A well-meaning person is always doing the wrong thing. The phrase encompasses many sins. The well-meaning person is presumed to be ignorant of the world's harsh ways, naive, gullible, and full of an unwarranted optimism especially about human nature. Arrogance or at least hubris is implied too, in that well-meaning people have an exaggerated view of their own ability to improve things.

One thing is certain: well-meaning people always make things worse. They're always trying to feed babies when the real problem is that parents won't work. Or getting in the way of a war because of the horrors thereof when the real problem can only be solved by winning the war. Or providing shelter for the poor when the real problem is the oppressive system that keeps them poor. Well-meaning people always seem to have band-aid solutions and don't see the picture. Their attempts to make things better always result in disaster because of something called the Law of Unintended Consequences which says that every time you do something that seems to mean well it will mean more trouble later on, in the larger scheme of things.

The answer to the problem of the well-meaning is to accept that the world is a harsh place and embrace that harshness. In fact, one is supposed to embody the world's hard ways. If someone misbehaves, punishment and force must be used. If there is a problem between governments, then it will inevitably result in war and it's best to prosecute the war as soon as possible. If there is a social disaster like a famine or an economic crisis, it's important that this "run its course"; mere half-measures like handing out food or shoes will only drag out the problem.

If a problem resists solution by bombing or jailing or some other harsh measures, then it is considered to be insoluble and part of the human condition. To say otherwise is, once again, to be "well-meaning." Tough-minded hard-nosed adults understand how unforgiving and full of suffering things are and don't try to change it. Only the very young and the fatally naive believe that things can be improved.

This is a place where Social Darwinism, Marxism, and Malthusian pessimism meet after having been thoroughly dumbed down into one idea: don't try to be good. The task is impossible and will make you into a victim yourself. Worse still, it will obstruct the natural way of things which eventually resolves conflicts. The Tao of this worldview is cruelty, and you must flow with it.

This attitude is everywhere in my country. The admirable person is said to be hard-nosed, realistic, rational, sober, and tough. His opponents are softies, Pollyannas, illogical, giddy, and weak. It's as though the Churchill-Chamberlain dichotomy was applied to every part of life: politics, religion, law, medicine, the arts, everything. You're either a heroic bulldog war fighter or an umbrella-waving idiot appeaser.

The word "aggressive" is entirely positive in all contexts. It has come to mean "effective," and anything labeled "passive" is by definition a failure. One roots out crime aggressively, and also treats disease aggressively, and even an aggressive prose style is given the seal of approval.

I urge you to resist this. Mean well.

Feed babies. Use band-aids on wounds. Give poor people 20 dollar bills and places to stay. Solve arguments without violence. Oppose cruelty and war. Be passive rather than aggressive. I urge you, in fact, to be a complete weenie and wussy, who can't see that what's needed is a short sharp shock. I urge you to think of criminals and drug addicts as salvageable improvable humans. I urge you to lose an argument more often and to resist an opportunity to destroy an enemy.

It's true that our conscience doesn't know how to manage a central bank or create a national water policy or stop the warmongering of dictators. And our conscience is naive about realpolitik and the tragedy of the commons and the necessity of breaking eggs to make metaphorical omelettes.

"Well-meaning" is our attitude when we listen to conscience. I am not ashamed.
substitute: (Default)
I have developed a manifesto-sized idea and am about to blog it out. You have been warned. Long essays making a large cultural point can't be sold and published conventionally unless the author is a respected and eminent intellectual or a rock 'n' roll star. Those who can, do; those who aren't, blog.

This may fizzle or may be several essays; I'm not sure where I'm going to pinch off the blog yet. Because of TL;DR in this post-literate medium I present some bullet points below for those who aren't going to plow through the thing.
  • Irony is worse than dead, it's suicidal.

  • Stop celebrating bad art, bad food, and evil. There's a place for enjoying things that are so bad they're good. It isn't the place called "the entire culture." Giving up on quality of any kind has more serious consequences than we might think.

  • Phony postmodernism kills. Take the risk of being well-meaning and sincere. A couple of poorly understood Cultural Studies classes does not confer the privilege of detached Godhood.

  • Permanent adolescence is no improvement over permanent childhood. Living our lives fully and meaningfully is a duty to others and not just to ourselves.

  • Subcultures, fandoms, and gaming worlds are eating a generation of privileged and educated people alive when we could and should be doing well and doing good. Come out of the couch fort and live.

  • Cheap fatalism is a crime of privilege. Admitting defeat in advance hurts many, many people less fortunate than we are before it touches us.
I freely admit in advance that I will be didactic, pretentious, and annoyingly prescriptive. It's likely that I'll also be irrelevant and that I will make a fool of myself. I have no formal training in philosophy or sociology and will probably reinvent various wheels poorly.

But sometimes an idea just arrives and possesses me. This one has sat on me for years, and is at the root of a troublesome fiction project that won't budge. Tormenting my small audience with an unsaleable vanity-press think piece is the best I can do with it right now.

Further material in this series will be tagged "ironyproject."
substitute: (Default)
I just ordered The Logic Of Failure ( at amazon ) ( at isbn.nu )

I like Amazon's SIPs, and I particularly like the ones for this book:

Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs):
storeroom experiment, bad participants, predator variable, reductive hypothesis, reverse planning, elaboration index, ballistic behavior, experiment director, good participants, moth population, problem sector, partial goals, regulator settings, watch factory, temporal configurations, experiment participants, planning game
substitute: (chinatown cut)
"Detectives alertly moved in on that vehicle and that male tried to ram that vehicle, two other vehicles on that scene. He subsequently exits the vehicle and as he's running away detectives can clearly see this male is attempting to pull a gun out of his back pocket. At some point in time he is chased around the corner and two detectives discharged their weapons."
substitute: (legion badge)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy_syndrome

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Nice_guy_syndrome

The talk page isn't quite what it could be. I was hoping for a real dust-up between self-diagnosed "nice guys" and the women who hate them, but it's pretty tame.

At least the first few words are correct: "folk psychology" about covers it.

hay guys lets make r own sciense @ home by puling it out of our ases lol
substitute: (rejected yield crash)
It pisses me off when people post warnings about DUI enforcement online. They say stuff like "take a cab tonight if you're going towards $TOWN" or "they're running a checkpoint at Newport & Flower, pass it on".

How about just not driving drunk? Ever? It's not hard to avoid. You'll be helping your friends the best possible way by not killing and maiming them.

If you can afford to go out and drink but you somehow can't afford to cab it home then you're just being a fucking sociopath. Stay home and drink, okay? Helping the other sociopaths mow us all down isn't nice.
substitute: (chinatown drive)
cavalloDefense lawyer/supervillain/accused bailbond fraudster Joseph Cavallo is included in a lawsuit by the Jane Doe victim in the Haidl Gang-Rape Case. He's responded as expected; with threats and hints of blackmail. Meanwhile, it's clear that L.A. Times' columnist Dana Parsons has completely and permanently disgraced himself with his coverage. I know that columnists are more "personal" in their approach than daily news journalists, but letting your seething misogyny ruin analysis of a gang rape case that highlights the bizarre world of Orange County wealthy teens and reveals corruption and collusion all the way to the top of County government is... lame.

But back to Cavallo. Clearly, if he's included in this lawsuit, then that little bitch is going to find out what happens when you fuck with Joe Cavallo! Why, he's going to tell the ENTIRE SCHOOL what a SLUT she is, and she'll never get to have lunch with the popular girls again! Dude, she was raped with a Snapple bottle and she's after blood. I don't think you can do much worse to her now. Go ahead and release your terrible revenge upon the town of Springfield.

Attorney vows SoCal sex assault victim will regret suing him

ASSOCIATED PRESS

1:50 a.m. March 20, 2006

SANTA ANA – The attorney for one of three young men sentenced to prison for the videotaped sexual assault of an unconscious teenage girl vows that the victim and her family will regret naming him as a defendant in a $26 million civil lawsuit.

“They're going to rue the day they brought me into this case,” said Joseph G. Cavallo, who represented Gregory Haidl, son of a former Orange County assistant sheriff.

Haidl, 20, and co-defendants Keith Spann and Kyle Nachreiner, both 21, were sentenced earlier this month to six years in state prison stemming from the July 2002 incident.

The civil lawsuit filed in December by the victim, now 20, names as defendants her attackers, Cavallo and two defense investigators, John Warren and Shawn Smigel.

The victim, known only as Jane Doe, alleges that Cavallo and the investigators harassed and intimidated her by staking out her Rancho Cucamonga house, improperly obtaining her medical records and revealing her identity, among other things.

“We're taking these people to task about what they did,” said her attorney, Sheldon Lodmer. “They crossed the line in terms of appropriate legal defense.”

Cavallo said he did nothing wrong. He denied Jane Doe's claim that investigators screamed out her name at her new school and said they had to stake out her home to serve her parents with court papers.

He characterized the lawsuit as “revenge” and said that during the civil trial, his defense will include bringing up new information about Jane Doe's past.

“By the time I get done with Jane Doe, the case won't be worth $10. I know more about Jane Doe than her lawyer and her family,” Cavallo said.

Haidl, Spann and Nachreiner were convicted last year of 15 felony counts for sexually assaulting the then-16-year-old victim with lighted cigarettes, a pool cue, a Snapple bottle and a juice can as she lay nude and unconscious on a pool table at the home of Haidl's father, who was not present.

During the criminal trial, Cavallo and other defense attorneys portrayed the victim as an emotionally troubled, promiscuous, would-be porn star who faked unconsciousness on the tape.

Lodmer said he anticipated Cavallo would attack his client.

“I'm sure he will use this opportunity, and she's ready to stand up to it,” Lodmer said.
substitute: (lysenko)
Once again this week (not in this forum) I've run into the triumphantly ignorant mindset that mental illness and neurological problems aren't diseases, that people with these problems are not worthy of medical attention, that anyone who hasn't triumphed over head problems by sheer force of will and/or approved religious or 12 step methods is a weakling, and that people with mental problems are making up stuff.

These people are almost exactly equivalent to those who think that homosexuality is a choice. Somewhere between that and the people who don't believe in germ theory because germs are really small and you can't see them.

I can identify a few fallacies that keep recurring when I run into this mindset. Most of them are variations on generalization. They are:
  • Mildly neurotic people annoyingly claim mental problems as an excuse for their behavior, although they could in fact be less annoying pretty easily. Therefore, everyone who has bigtime head problems is also doing this and should just stop being weird already.

  • My own experience with drug addiction/neurotic behavior/weird mental blocks was resolved with 12-step groups/just getting over it/moving to a different town and therefore any other person's head problems, no matter how different or how much more extreme, should be solved this way too. Otherwise they're not trying.

  • Drug companies make a lot of money selling lifestyle drugs, and often create new ailments or over-market medications. Therefore, anyone who takes medication for any neurologic or psychiatric problem is making a mistake, because nothing sold by these companies is useful or necessary.

  • I knew someone once who had a lot of head problems and she tried a lot of things to fix it and nothing worked and she didn't get better and was really annoying. Therefore no kind of medical or psychological intervention works and people with mental problems are tiresome losers.

  • People with head problems are choosing this lifestyle to get sympathy and because it agrees with them somehow, and they're using medications as a crutch instead of choosing to be healthy, like me. Therefore they are weak and worthy of scorn.

  • Problems that affect behavior and personality should not be treated as diseases or treatable problems. They should be treated in the old-fashioned way as character flaws and sins, and people who exhibit them should be punished, shunned, shamed, and mocked. Only deluded softies and hypnotized idiots believe otherwise. Nothing like this has ever happened to me or anyone I like, the problem can't be seen with the naked eye, and I keep being told by authority figures who annoy me that it's happening. Therefore these problems don't exist, and I'm a unique and beautiful snowflake for standing up to this nonsense. I know this is true because a loud person on the radio said so.
This is all medieval horseshit. I'd like to find the source of it, because it's both pre-scientific and new. It's as though someone merged L. Ron Hubbard and Bill O'Reilly and treated this mutant as a medical authority.

Admittedly everyone is insane to some degree about mental health, the way everyone is insane about food and sex and education. But this shit is just off the map. It's aggressively proud ignorance. I want to collar all these people and take them to a "Scared Straight" tour of the local mental health facilities so they can see how bad it gets.

"Bipolar" isn't your moody ex boyfriend who used that as an excuse for the time he fucked your sister. It's people driving from San Diego to Maine for no reason and changing their name eight times along the way. "Phobia" isn't that woman at your office who hates spiders. It's someone who has to spend two days in her room if she sees one. And "depressed" isn't the showy Goth you went to junior college with who wrote sad poetry in large black letters. It's people who can't get out of bed or clothe themselves or do anything except wish they were dead for years and years on end. This shit is real, assholes, and it kills and ruins lives.

Shitting on the people it's happening to just because their lives are outside your cramped imagination is quite literally adding insult to injury, and you ought to be ashamed of yourselves. You should also put down the talk radio and read a fucking book now and then.
substitute: (winnebago man)
I graduated from high school in 1983. It was a pretty good high school, and I learned a lot there. This was partly because of the accidental presence of some unusually good teachers and partly because California schools were well-funded at the time.

Every day I dragged my ass out of bed and got to school for morning classes. With lunch and a couple breaks I did school stuff until 3something. This was an iron rule. Some kids with more money left campus during lunch to go to a restaurant or something, but most of us just didn't leave campus at all. When there was a hole in the schedule in senior year, I got stuffed into "study hall", where I read.

We had a lot to do. There was homework every day, and assigned reading and exercises from our textbooks, which we took home. There were frequent tests and projects. At the end of junior senior year, too, there were a few Advanced Placement tests. Since I was doing pretty well academically I took AP classes and passed I think three of these tests. I worked harder and learned more in my senior year in high school than I did in my first quarter at UCLA.

If you left campus, it was likely someone would notice and you'd get in trouble. We had a legendary vice principal, Jack "Bring 'em Back" King, who would drive down to the beach and haul surfer truants out of the water, stuff them in his Chevy, and put them , dripping and sullen, in class complete with wetsuits. School was pretty serious business.

There were the requisite number of hack teachers and administrators, some classes that were worse than useless, a fair amount of wastes of time, and the other things one expects from that level of education, but mostly a student went there all day, learned all day, and went home and did homework for a few hours daily.

My friends from around here who are 30 or younger went to a different kind of high school, and I'm not sure why.

First of all, attendance is optional now. The kids may be in class, or they may be at home, or on vacation with their parents, or doing some project or other, or just... not around. Kids can barely attend some class the whole semester and pass it. I see high school kids shopping at some mall at 11 am on a Tuesday. If their parents are going to Maui for a few days in February, they just pull the kids out and go. One high school here instituted a "ski week" because everyone disappeared that week every year anyway, and tried to tack the days on the end of the year. There was no decrease in days lost.

Since Proposition 13 (please see my screed here from a while back if you don't know what that is), there's been less and less money for education. Quite often there aren't enough textbooks for the students, and more often than not there aren't enough for students to take them home. I don't understand how you do math homework in that situation. The non-sports extracurricular activities, especially music, are gone, so those are off campus. There seem to be less classes generally, so junior and seniors have these big gaps in their days, and no one locks them up in the study hall. It's easier to take classes in college simultaneously (this is a good thing!), so many students go back and forth between two campuses. And finally the enforced extracurricular activities like D.A.R.E., required "community service", kareer kounseling krap, and whatever latest Young Pioneers thing is they're being forced to do takes hours out of the school day.

It doesnt seem like there's that much homework, either. Kids cram for the AP tests (which give them higher than perfect GPAs, another bizarro new thing), but their own classes and homework they view with scorn.

From my outsider's eye it looks like kids from 14-18 are just doing less school overall, and not doing so in any structured way. Some of this is good news. Study Hall was a horrible waste of time, and going to college classes instead of high school ones must be awesome if you're academically interested.

With all the blather about how our children is not being educatated, though, it's weird to see the kids spending less time in school total, less of that time being taught, less homework, less resources to actually learn (hello, books?), and less supervision of any kind.

And the teachers just suck. Horribly. This whole train of thought was started by a high-school age friend telling me that her English teacher borrowed her Spark Notes for Samuel Beckett because she didn't know that stuff.

ASSERTION.

Jan. 25th, 2006 08:50 pm
substitute: (lysenko)
I blame talk radio for much of what is wrong with my country.
substitute: (tesh)
The Exile had James Frey pegged on Day One and even more so on Day Two, even before he was unmasked as a proven fake.

just another dry drunk asshole. They're popular these days. Representative quotes:
Rehab stories provide a way for pampered trust-fund brats like Frey to claim victim status. These swine already have money, security and position and now want to corner the market in suffering and scars, the consolation prizes of the truly lost.

Frey got those anecdotes the no-risk way: he stole them from a real druggie/criminal author. A much better and more honest one, a guy named Eddie Little-specifically, Frey looted Little's great debut novel, Another Day in Paradise.
The accusation of theft from Eddie Little is interesting; I'll have to find that book.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] salome_st_john for pointing this one out.
substitute: (staypuft)
This wants to be my myspace friend:
Konnected Inc was established in January 2004, based out of Irvine California. The company's main objective is to plan, promote and operate specific events for businesses looking to increase traffic, build awareness, create a steady flow of sales, promote an image and deliver a message.

Konnected Inc specializes in promoting, but not limited to, nightly entertainment, focusing mainly on dance/night clubs in Orange County and surrounding areas.
. Okay, DJ company, typical. I browse around looking at their leadership.

I find Steve. Steve lists his location on myspace as "Da Vine, OC". Has anyone else here ever seen the city of Irvine referred to as "Da Vine"? I am familiar with "Da Bronx", and "The LBC", and "The Downs" and "The Gardens" in Watts. I'll even accept "The OC" because we all called it that as a joke long before the TV show.

"Da Vine" just has to fucking go, though, Steve. I was going to post a picture of Steve, but all pictures of 20-something suburban kids throwing gang signs or the "shocker" are the same, whether they are with augmented party babes or not. I will point out that one of his pictures is at a suburban baby shower, though, and it looks genuine and kind of sweet.
substitute: (chinatown drive)
Lately I am often proved wrong.

Intellectually I like being proved wrong, because I like learning. Although it's more important than it should be for me to be right, when I manage to tamp down the ego and accept a different viewpoint it's a very good thing.

And when one of my depressive or pessimistic beliefs is sunk it's cheering. Not frequent, but I hang on to those.

The last year or so has been full of "evidence to the contrary" and most of it has been unpleasant. Whether it's been an educational or destructive experience remains to be seen.

I've always thought I could trust people implicitly if we got along, and someone showed me that wasn't true. I'd been screwed before, but not by someone I respected like that, and it's still shocking when I think of it. The aftermath was in some ways worse, because the ambiguous reactions of other friends made me question the quality of my friendships and the validity of all those feel-good assumptions I had. The statement "I can trust my friends without worry, and they will stand up for me when I have clearly been wronged" was invalid. Still not over it.

Similarly, I'd also had the habit of believing what others said if there wasn't evidence to the contrary, and assuming they were mistaken rather than dishonest if such evidence existed. That one was blown up and sunk also. It's been hard to me to see that there's a continuum from the pathological liar who is ill to the sociopathic liar who uses truth and untruth as weapons, and that a lot of people are in between those two bad extremes. It's been another huge trust failure. The people who lie because they want something to be true, or because they know what they are expected to say, or because they think someone else will feel better, arrived in force this time.

The hardest grade I got, though, was on my world view. Events, people, and various therapies have conspired to show me that I've had it wrong the whole time. Something about my whole relation to the world — particularly socially — is just cracked. Social relations are clearly more brutal than I had seen before, and the gulf between what others say are their values and how they live is far bigger than I'd been able to grasp. I'd always seen relations among friends and families as community. This was the year I saw them as an economy, where people exchange tokens for desired things, and where the money is only visible when you're poor. As much as I might have faux-cynically said "People do what they want!" a million times before, now I lived it.

So I managed to remain socially innocent until I was 40, and by 41 I'd learned for real the things others seemed to learn in their teens. It doesn't feel like a good kind of "proved wrong", though.

I never wanted to believe people who said cynical crap. You know, people would say to me that you get what you take in life, or that you need to be pushy and dishonest and maybe a little threatening to get the girl, or that trust is a mistake, and I'd write them off. "I don't know anyone who behaves that way and gets anywhere," I said, "and the people I like and spend time with don't." Wrong, and wrong.

Before, I saw basically good people trying and often failing to do the right thing. Now, I see the apes stealing each others' fruit, abandoning the injured one to the tigers, and raping each other. And they're doing way better than I am; I've been proved wrong.

Damn it's cold out here.
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This year I am once again grateful for my family's behavior at holiday times. I grew up agnostic, so there was never any religious pressure. Christmas was a gift exchange and a couple of nice meals, and it still is. The most frequent verb I see this week is "survive", as in "surviving the holidays" or "survived my family again". There's tremendous stress about food, gifts, the presence of difficult relatives, and every kind of parent/child conflict. People don't eat the food their parents eat any more, or the gifts are too much or not enough money, or the gifts have been a form of warfare for 20 years, or Uncle Ted is a racist, or Dad always asks the boyfriend if he's going to be anybody ever, or or or.

And more seriously some people I know go into a major PTSD mode during the "holidays" because their childhoods were so gothically horrible that memories of family togetherness are a symptom rather than a pleasant reverie.

It's a big joke in our culture that holidays are a stressful mess and that everyone is miserable and drunk, etc. "Surviving the holidays" in every way is the goal. It's linked in my mind with the "Safe" thing, e.g. "Have a safe holiday!". It's sort of assumed that you'll hate the whole thing, drink like a fish and pop pills, and die in a 7-car pileup on some snowy turnpike, thereby causing what the newspapers inaccurately call a "tragedy".

My family's troubles are constant, ongoing, and subtle. We don't have screaming matches or drunken rampages, no one hits anyone, and we don't say nuclear weapon phrases like "I don't love you". We may undermine for years at a time, or be unreasonably irritable, or fail to connect in some dispiriting way. There are conflicts and painful situations that aren't allowed to be mentioned or discussed.

But we don't have "holiday" stress. Despite all my complaints about my psyche and my issues, I'm very grateful for my family 99% of the time. My heart goes out to everyone who has to Survive instead of relaxing around now.
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Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] hydrozoa for pointing me to [livejournal.com profile] slit's spot on smackdown of Sex and the City.

I knew I couldn't stand that show but I didn't yet know exactly why. Now I do! Thanks, [livejournal.com profile] slit!
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Driving down Westcliff Avenue last night I was obstructed by a big RV that was drifting in and out of lanes. The damned thing was so wide it could barely fit in one lane and was bumbling about dangerously. I passed the monster with a wide berth, tapping my horn and thinking "probably some drunk who lives in his RV." Then I noticed it was painted all over with ads, logos, and signs. Racing team? Soft drink promotion? What the...

tale gators

Yes, there is such a thing as the American Tailgate Association.
The American Tailgaters Association (ATA) was founded for several reasons. The "sport" of tailgating has become a national phenomenon as a recreational activity, yet there has never been a venue for tailgaters to come together in a single place.until now!

The ATA will allow tailgaters all across our great nation to meet in forums, discuss the best tailgating places, talk about their favorite teams or sports, find discount merchandise, post pictures, and generally be the one stop tailgaters "community".

[...]

Our desire is to promote ATA membership and our corporate partners and we believe by offering an entertaining, interactive, cost-effective and ever-expanding experience, our membership will in turn promote organizational allegiance, brand loyalty and name recognition for our corporate partners and ourselves.
An outstanding characteristic of my country is our inability to have fun without creating an association with bylaws, getting corporate sponsors, copyrighting and trademarking it, having an annual competition, and finally and inevitably adopting a mission and vision statement. See: Little League, car stereo enthusiasts, etc.

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