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Seen a while back while waiting on the freeway for roadside assistance: A large pickup truck, painted on the tailgate in huge letters with:

I'D RATHER BE CUMMIN THAN STROKIN

In or out of context this is a jarring thing to see on the road. I hereby provide context:

The owner of this truck owns a Dodge pickup which uses a Cummins brand diesel engine. He feels strongly that said brand of diesel engine is superior to Ford diesel engines, which are called "Powerstroke."

I understand the intent of his message. Clearly he wants to indicate that his engine choice implies a sexual choice: he does not wish to masturbate, hence "strokin."

However, the activities of "cummin" and "strokin" are not exclusive. Aficionados of masturbation will immediately object: Hey! We stroke in order to come! And then we're cummin!"

Since I was stuck on the shoulder of Interstate 710 at Atlantic/Bandini at the time I didn't have time to follow this gentleman and point out the contradiction inherent in his signage.

Perhaps he should have said: "I'd prefer to be cummin due to my conquest of a female human than strokin my own male member in order to achieve orgasm on my own, which is humiliating to me, and I feel the same way about my engine choice of Cummins Diesel over Powerstroke Diesel. It is the right choice for diesel engines without a doubt and gives me the same sense of control and desirability that mutually consensual coitus does over masturbatory activity."

Or maybe he should of just gave the fuck up and not painted his truck with that sign.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-06 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nom-de-grr.livejournal.com
I saw a pickup that had "GET HER DRUNK THEN GET HER DONE" painted on its read windshield. Classy!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-06 03:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dmlaenker.livejournal.com
That is such a splendid opinion I could just shit.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-06 03:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yoscott.livejournal.com
HEMI? I Hardly knew 'er!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-06 03:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nom-de-grr.livejournal.com
"YOU'RE Thor? I'm tho thore, I can hardly thit!"

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-06 04:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sooz.livejournal.com
hrm id rather be cummin than strokin :P maybe it was his wifes truck

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-06 06:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loose-joints.livejournal.com
I love you, C. I just LOL'd at that. I'm going to walk around giggling about that in my head.

TVC15

Date: 2007-09-06 09:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torgo-x.livejournal.com
I think that might actually be me giggling
about that in your head. They say it's a cellphone network thing, been happening a lot lately.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-09-06 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] breezygirl.livejournal.com
At a flea market last weekend I saw a booth with a metric shitload of obnoxious decals for cars and trucks. That's where they all come from. The Calvin peeing on things was still there in abundance and lots of redneck sayings. HOrRiBLE!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-12-24 05:53 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
if you dont get the sticker your a fucking idiot

(no subject)

Date: 2007-12-24 07:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] substitute.livejournal.com
If you could read you'd see that I did get the sticker.

I guess you're a fucking idiot, though.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-09 04:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clayhewes.livejournal.com
If you don’t get a sales manager, I doubt you are going to get the deal this should be on their nametag.

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