best "other" responses to my Valentine poll

In no particular order:

"Revive Lupercalia instead. Don't forget the goat and dog sacrifice!"

"Sex at the zoo!"

"Ironic 'my funny valentine party' wherein we all get drunk and make warped, disgusting cards for each other."

"Book table for 2 @Spago, act disappointed when 2nd party is no show, enjoy dinner, leave backpack bomb under table, dash out on check, enjoy explosion from safe distance."

The list is here at the poll results.

"Other" was the winner by a long shot, followed by "Spasmodic, bonobo-like masturbation", "Pure bitter bile, straight no chaser", and "Transgressive BDSM orgy with harem of doe-eyed, slinky ingenues".

That last one does sound awesome but presents logistical difficulties. The first one is easy enough, though. Why if I had a dollar for...

Where am I and why is this lion sniffing me?

I just read a good post by genericus about dreams which got me thinking.

I don't often remember my dreams now. I think this is probably a result of sleeping better, since as I understand it you remember the dreams if you wake up afterwards for a bit, and they tend to fade otherwise. In general, though, my dream life has been unremarkable and kind of boring. Mostly I just get the same three or four classic anxiety dreams about school or travel or money problems. They're annoying but not nightmares.

When I was a young child I had very unpleasant nightmares. Many of these were fever dreams during some childhood "stomach flu" fever. Almost all of them had the odd feature of being wordless and in fact free of story or reason. I would just be seized with terrible fear and anxiety. Sometimes it took forever for my parents to get me out of this state. I couldn't go back to sleep, and an oppressive horror of everything seized me. One frequent hallucination in this situation was that I was responsible for holding the entire universe in my hand, and it was at once somehow tiny and very heavy. Almost always, though, it was just the Nameless Dread. For a few hours at a time. Boy did that freak out my parents!

I had one very good, very detailed, and very strange dream in high school. I was an apostle, one of those who had met Christ. And I was preaching the Gospel to sailors on a classic 19th century style wooden warship, like something out of a Hornblower novel. There were all these sailors sitting listening to me explain that it was all true, and I had met the guy, and wasn't this great news. I was apparently impressive. I woke up understanding religion better than I ever had.

The only other notable dream I can remember was more recently and very depressing. Everyone was disgusted and angry with me, including close friends and immediate family. I was openly abused and reviled, and unfortunately it was all true. That one took a few weeks to shake.

Otherwise? I sleep, I wake up. I am not bothered by dreams for good or ill now. I snorkel in the Styx for 8 hours a night and wake up refreshed. Not such a bad deal, although I'd prefer hot 'n' steamy sex dreams or entertaining art slideshows if I could order from a menu.

MOVIES.

via bruisedhipsCreate your own Movie List @ HotFreeLayouts!

good morning aztlan

Last night Sylvia related the amusing story of how she got stabbed at Alberto's. It's amusing mostly because she was only slightly injured, and also because I learned the street Spanish for "shut your piehole".

There was also a long and interesting discussion of the racial politics of primary education around here. I was once again reminded of how lucky I was to have gone to school in the 1970s when "everyone gets along" was the example set starting from the top and working down. My junior high in particular was a cross-section of California ethnic and religious groups, but we had not one incident of racial or other communal violence the whole time I was there. Meanwhile they were telling me about the year at Ensign Middle School that the administration divided the place between the whites and the Mexicans like a prison because of all the fights.

I gave Michelle an MP3 CD of all the Jelly Roll stuff plus some other things which made her very happy. I really like the look on people's faces when I give them music they haven't heard and want. This is why I liked being a DJ so much!

There is crazy music from Aquarius winging its way to me, also more RAM for my computer. It's sunny outside. The cat is cleaning my elbow.

Later this evening, I hope to churn out two book reviews for y'all.

Little/Frey article in Weekly

Hm, I thought there was going to be a piece on the Eddie Little/James Frey plagiarism issue in the Weekly this week, but I don't see it. Anyone got better info?

Dilbert Hole remix of Bollywood

Amusing re-subtitle toy via autodidactic let me to DilbertHoleIze some random bollywood flick.

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/playuk.php?id=580532

Note: OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE IN SUBTITLES

It was very windy at the beach today.

The rest of the shots, including the newlyweds and the street lamps, are in this Flickr set.

I DON'T LIKE OFFICE DEPOT ANY MORE

language notes

1. It's easy to convert a simple statement into a simple asshole statement. Simply prefix it with "Um". Try it! It works every time!
   
   
2. The following usage is proscribed and prohibited and will be punished: use of the German word "uber" as a generic comparative or superlative. Examples: "We didn't want to swear around her because she's uber religious"; "Of course, if there are things on an uber level that any of you see as problematic, please let me know ASAP so we can figure out the best way to resolve." The second example arrived in email today and caused me to swear and frighten the cat.
   
   
3. "Righteous" and "self-righteous" do not mean the same thing. A righteous person is one who does the right thing. A self-righteous person is someone who declares him or herself to be righteous, and this usage is pejorative. In short they're almost opposites. Thanks.
   
   
4. Dear the Kia Company: Like many car manufacturers, you've chosen Italianate names for your car. Sorrento is a very nice town and an acceptable name for a carr, but why did you take a letter out and call it the "Sorento"? Was it just to hurt me, every time I see that ad? Was that it? WAS THAT IT?