Salutations Without Borders

I'm in the process of donating some cash to Doctors Without Borders and filling out my personal info. I have to choose a "Title", meaning my salutation. The number of possible salutations in the drop-down menu is insane. Shall I be Mr. and Mrs. Rabbi? Sheik? Sergeant-at-Arms? Reverend Mother?

<select ... > <option ... > -- please make a selection -- </option> <option ... > Abbot </option> <option ... > Admiral </option> <option ... > Admiral & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Admiral & Mr. </option> <option ... > Admiral (Retired) </option> <option ... > Alderman </option> <option ... > Ambassador & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Ambassador & Mr. </option> <option ... > Assemblyman </option> <option ... > Assemblywoman </option> <option ... > Attorney </option> <option ... > Attorney & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Attorney & Mr. </option> <option ... > Bishop </option> <option ... > Bishop & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Board of Directors of </option> <option ... > Brigadier General </option> <option ... > Brigadier General & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Brigadier General & Mr. </option> <option ... > Brother </option> <option ... > Cantor </option> <option ... > Cantor & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Cantor & Mr. </option> <option ... > Captain </option> <option ... > Captain & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Captain & Mr. </option> <option ... > Captain (Retired) </option> <option ... > Cardinal </option> <option ... > Commander </option> <option ... > Commander & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Commander & Mr. </option> <option ... > Chaplain </option> <option ... > Chaplain & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Chaplain & Mr. </option> <option ... > Chief </option> <option ... > Colonel </option> <option ... > Colonel & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Colonel & Mr. </option> <option ... > Colonel (Retired) </option> <option ... > Committee </option> <option ... > Committee to Re-Elect </option> <option ... > Commodore </option> <option ... > Commodore & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Commodore & Mr. </option> <option ... > Congressman </option> <option ... > Congressman & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Congresswoman </option> <option ... > Congresswoman & Mr. </option> <option ... > Corporal </option> <option ... > Corporal & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Corporal & Mr. </option> <option ... > Countess </option> <option ... > Co-Workers at </option> <option ... > Co-Workers in </option> <option ... > Co-Workers of </option> <option ... > Dame </option> <option ... > Dr. and Mrs. </option> <option ... > Deacon </option> <option ... > DEACONESS </option> <option ... > Deacon & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Deacon & Mr. </option> <option ... > Dean </option> <option ... > Dean & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Dean & Mr. </option> <option ... > Director </option> <option ... > The Duke & Duchess of </option> <option ... > Dr. </option> <option ... > Dr. and Dr. </option> <option ... > Doctor & Doctor </option> <option ... > Dr. & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Doctor & Mr. </option> <option ... > Doctor & Ms. </option> <option ... > Doctor & Reverend </option> <option ... > The Duke & Duchess of </option> <option ... > Duchess </option> <option ... > Duke </option> <option ... > The Emperor & Empress of </option> <option ... > Emperor </option> <option ... > Empress </option> <option ... > Ensign </option> <option ... > Ensign & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Ensign & Mr. </option> <option ... > The Estate of </option> <option ... > Friends & Associates at </option> <option ... > Faculty at </option> <option ... > Faculty & Staff </option> <option ... > First Lieutenant </option> <option ... > Foreign Ambassador </option> <option ... > Friends & Neighbors at the </option> <option ... > Friends & Classmates </option> <option ... > Friends & Co-Workers of </option> <option ... > Fleet Admiral </option> <option ... > Fleet Admiral & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Fleet Admiral & Mr. </option> <option ... > Priest </option> <option ... > Friends at </option> <option ... > FRAU </option> <option ... > Friends in </option> <option ... > Friends of </option> <option ... > From the </option> <option ... > General </option> <option ... > General & Mrs. </option> <option ... > General & Mr. </option> <option ... > "General, Retired" </option> <option ... > Governor </option> <option ... > Governor & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Governor & Mr. </option> <option ... > The Honorable </option> <option ... > The Honorable & Mrs. </option> <option ... > The Honorable & Mr. </option> <option ... > The Honorable </option> <option ... > Judge </option> <option ... > Judge & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Judge & Mr. </option> <option ... > Justice </option> <option ... > Lady </option> <option ... > Lord </option> <option ... > Lord & Lady </option> <option ... > Lieutenant </option> <option ... > Lieutenant Colonel </option> <option ... > Lieutenant Commander </option> <option ... > Lieutenant Commander & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Lieutenant Colonel & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Lieutenant Colonel & Mr. </option> <option ... > Lieutenant Colonel (Retired) </option> <option ... > Lieutenant General </option> <option ... > Lieutenant General & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Lieutenant & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Lieutenant & Mr. </option> <option ... > Mrs. </option> <option ... > Madam </option> <option ... > Major </option> <option ... > Major & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Major & Mr. </option> <option ... > Mr. and Mrs. </option> <option ... > Master </option> <option ... > Mayor & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Mayor & Mr. </option> <option ... > Mayor </option> <option ... > Members of </option> <option ... > Messrs. </option> <option ... > Major General </option> <option ... > Major General & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Major General & Mr. </option> <option ... > Miss </option> <option ... > Misses </option> <option ... > Mademoiselle </option> <option ... > Madame </option> <option ... > Master Sergeant </option> <option ... > Master Sergeant & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Master Sergeant & Mr. </option> <option ... > Mother </option> <option ... > Monsignor </option> <option ... > Most Reverend </option> <option ... > Mister </option> <option ... > Mr. and Dr. </option> <option ... > Mr. & Dr. </option> <option ... > Mr. & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Mr. & Mr. </option> <option ... > Mr. and Ms. </option> <option ... > Mrs. </option> <option ... > Mrs. & Mr. </option> <option ... > Mrs. & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Mrs. & Ms. </option> <option ... > Ms. </option> <option ... > Ms.'s </option> <option ... > Officers of </option> <option ... > Parents of </option> <option ... > Pastor </option> <option ... > Private First Class </option> <option ... > Petty Officer </option> <option ... > Prince and Princess </option> <option ... > President </option> <option ... > President & Mrs. </option> <option ... > President & Mr. </option> <option ... > Prince </option> <option ... > Princess </option> <option ... > Professor </option> <option ... > Professor & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Professor & Mr. </option> <option ... > Private </option> <option ... > Private & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Private & Mr. </option> <option ... > Queen </option> <option ... > Rabbi </option> <option ... > Rabbi & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Rabbi & Mr. </option> <option ... > Rear Admiral </option> <option ... > Rear Admiral & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Rear Admiral & Mr. </option> <option ... > Representative </option> <option ... > Representative & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Representative & Mr. </option> <option ... > Reverend </option> <option ... > Reverend Doctor </option> <option ... > Reverend Doctor & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Reverend Doctor and Mr. </option> <option ... > Reverend & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Reverend Mother </option> <option ... > Reverend & Mr. </option> <option ... > The Right Reverend (Episcopal Bishop) </option> <option ... > The Right Reverend & Mrs. </option> <option ... > The Right Reverend & Mr. </option> <option ... > Senator </option> <option ... > Senator & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Senator & Mr. </option> <option ... > Senora </option> <option ... > Sergeant </option> <option ... > Sergeant & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Sergeant Major </option> <option ... > Sergeant Major & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Sergeant Major & Mr. </option> <option ... > Sergeant & Mr. </option> <option ... > Sheik </option> <option ... > Sheriff </option> <option ... > Sheriff & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Sheriff & Mr. </option> <option ... > Sir </option> <option ... > Sir & Lady </option> <option ... > Sister </option> <option ... > Speaker of the House </option> <option ... > Speaker & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Speaker & Mr. </option> <option ... > Staff Sergeant </option> <option ... > The Staff at </option> <option ... > The Staff of </option> <option ... > The Family of </option> <option ... > Trust of </option> <option ... > Vice Admiral </option> <option ... > Vice Admiral & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Vice Admiral & Mr. </option> <option ... > Vice President </option> <option ... > Vice President & Mrs. </option> <option ... > Vice President & Mr. </option> <option ... > Your friends at </option> </select>

It's all about the sneetches

1. jactitation returned from Japan with some great pictures of MONKEYS IN THE MIST!
   
   
2. Defensetech reports that Honeywell is building a Star Wars Droid, no joke. (PDF file at last link.) Also that Drudge totally got the story wrong, surprise.
   
   
3. AdJab reports that one of those dumb promo "throw the ball in this difficult way and win $1 million" things was won, and by a no-doubt impoverished combat veteran who now won't have to live in a box. I cannot stop saying the name of the thing he won: "Bi-Lo Healthy Choice Pigskin Challenge".
   
   
4. NASA has an amazing gallery of photos-of-the-day from the MODIS satellite imaging system.
   
   
5. Again from AdJab, the Seattle Times has an article about eating in cars that shows that the whole country is turning into Southern California as usual. Best quote:

   "The Crunchy Taco is the No. 1 seller. But we hear from consumers that it is difficult to eat in the car because it's open on three sides," says Laurie Schalow, Taco Bell spokeswoman in Irvine, Calif., who says the goal is to make drive-through service "faster and friendlier" without encouraging unsafe driving.

6. Milk: it does a body good, but could it be madcowing your brain?
   
   
7. Bookslut reports that the hellbound founder of BzzAgent, the company that gives you free stuff in exchange for you lying to your friends about how cool it is, deployed his army of zombie consumer whores to pimp out his own book on Amazon. People, if you're going to sell out, at least take the trouble to get paid properly for it. This is sad.
   
   
8. Apropos of nothing, because I was just talking to hydrozoa about this: I want to have a talk show where people who have written whiny books about how their particular upper middle class suburban childhood was worse than yours and how their particular neurosis is special and perfect are invited on TV to talk about their books. And just as they get into the self-important whining, the security guards, who are like the ones on Jerry Springer, come on stage and beat the shit out of them while the audience cheers. It will be called "SHUT UP, AMERICA!" Folks, that kind of talk is for livejournal and not for 250 pages hardback published by Alfred A. Knopf and dumped in a pyramid at the entrance to the Barnes & Noble. Oprah delenda est.
   
   
9. Microsoft Korea has a song for you to sing! Thanks to the exploding aardvark. Developers developers developers developers...
   
   
10. The Federal Government wants their Blackberry so much they're intervening in a patent lawsuit to keep it from going away. What wouldn't I give to have access to Karl Rove's Crackberry...

A place for fiends

From ohnotheydidnt: the 18-year-old PA murder/kidnap suspect is a myspace kid, as is the 14-year-old girl he kidnapped/fled with after offing her parents.

One of a number of tragicomic punchlines to this story is that not only did the star-crossed couple not meet on Myspace, they didn't even meet at a school or some local teen danger hangout. They met through the homeschooling group in which her religiously conservative parents had placed her. Good thing we avoided the public schools with all that secular situational ethics that corrupts the morals.

Unable to receive new mail

Cat in inbox.

We gonna have a straight-up BLAST.

This week's Wittenburg Door newsletter alerts us to the fact that the web version of "God Stuff" archives this week has not only clips from Carman's Bond-style thriller, but also the all time best clip from Benny Hinn's wife offering a Holy Ghost... oh, I won't spoil it.

DOGS AND CATS, LIVING TOGETHER

SEWAGE AND INTERSEX FISH! SEWAGE AND INTERSEX FISH! SEWAGE AND INTERSEX FISH!

Three-eyed unclefucker fish, flying slugs, deadly cold-blooded sea badgers, parakeetopotamus, puffercows, fifty pound flies, terror, madness. DON'T LITTER.

Bob and Doug McMoquegua

The Wari abandoned Cerro Baúl and all their other cultural sites about AD 1000. Why they chose to leave Cerro Baúl remains a mystery, but they left ample evidence of a planned, if destructive, departure. They cleaned out functional buildings, but ritually destroyed ceremonial buildings, including the palace, temple and brewery.

Final ceremonies, such as a feast at the palace, ended with igniting the combustible parts of the structure. Later, the stone walls collapsed, covering and protecting the remains for a thousand years.

The brewery preserved the most intriguing evidence. Shawl clips found in the ruins showed that elite women were the brewers. In Inca times, Ryan Williams at the Field Museum of Natural History in Chicago, notes that noble women called "virgins of the Sun" are known to have brewed beer...

More at the New Scientist about this now-departed ancient people and their awesome 64-ouncers of beer, shown above.