substitute

1282: On or about this day, at Inverkeithing, Fife, a parish priest named John parades a “wooden image of the male members of generation” accompanied by young women, urging them “to licentious actions by his no less licentious language”; obviously he is celebrating Something on a Stick Day

Thanks, Exploding Aardvark!

Goatonapole is the philosophy of being that holds that there is a Goat and a Pole and that the Goat is on the Pole. In the relation of Goat and Pole we Goatonapolists find an eternal thread of unfathomable cosmic significance, a point of reference in which all opposites dissolve into a unity of infinite breadth, a universal truth underlying the very fabric of existence. Upon contemplation of the Goat, the Pole, and their relative positions, one cannot help but realize that we've always been talking about Goatonapole. Whether we accept, reject, or live in ignorance of Goatonapole, we are all Goatonapolists.