hurf burf WHAT? OLD!

Somehow I am 41.

The American Fuck Yeah Association

Driving down Westcliff Avenue last night I was obstructed by a big RV that was drifting in and out of lanes. The damned thing was so wide it could barely fit in one lane and was bumbling about dangerously. I passed the monster with a wide berth, tapping my horn and thinking "probably some drunk who lives in his RV." Then I noticed it was painted all over with ads, logos, and signs. Racing team? Soft drink promotion? What the...



Yes, there is such a thing as the American Tailgate Association.

The American Tailgaters Association (ATA) was founded for several reasons. The "sport" of tailgating has become a national phenomenon as a recreational activity, yet there has never been a venue for tailgaters to come together in a single place.until now!

The ATA will allow tailgaters all across our great nation to meet in forums, discuss the best tailgating places, talk about their favorite teams or sports, find discount merchandise, post pictures, and generally be the one stop tailgaters "community".

[...]

Our desire is to promote ATA membership and our corporate partners and we believe by offering an entertaining, interactive, cost-effective and ever-expanding experience, our membership will in turn promote organizational allegiance, brand loyalty and name recognition for our corporate partners and ourselves.

An outstanding characteristic of my country is our inability to have fun without creating an association with bylaws, getting corporate sponsors, copyrighting and trademarking it, having an annual competition, and finally and inevitably adopting a mission and vision statement. See: Little League, car stereo enthusiasts, etc.

Girls who are sad should take a pill

The best part of my occasional medication-checkup visits to the psychiatrist's office is the brochures. No, really. The drug companies produce these things, which don't mention any specific drug but urge you to deal with your problem. I've posted some pictures of swag and brochures before. Today's offering is "Balanced", a look at one housewife's indoctrination in to the proper way to handle her problems. It seriously looks like that comic strip "Baby Blues". Also, note older male psychologist authority figure and emphasis on Women Problems.

Benedict Arnold Slept Here

Current list of things broken in my house:

• Water pipe inside slab (repaired)
  
• Drywall and paint damaged by flood (repaired)
  
• Vanity in bathroom destroyed
  
• Carpet in hallway, living room, one bedroom destroyed
  
• Thermostat for heater working only intermittently status post handyman "looking at it". (new one just installed)
  
• Forced-air natural gas heater dead even when started manually; fan motor broken; entire heater needs replacement. (Heater may be as much as 40 years old.) (installed as of this moment)
  
• Front door deadbolt won't close status post handyman "fixing" doorknob/lock issues.
  
• Toilet flush mechanism does not stop unless you "do it right".
  
• Cover on fluorescent light over kitchen counter falls off periodically with a loud bang.
  
• Slab under house is "efflorescing", which will inevitably require slab replacement at some future date.

o/~ 'Cause heeee loooooves traaaaaaaash o/~

This was sent to me by jonpants who then couldn't take his own medicine:

jonpants: he killed snuffy.
substitute: And made a Snuffy Film of it, no doubt.
jonpants: oh man that was just bad.

Woman's Body Found On Big Bird Actor's Conn. Property

POSTED: 8:23 pm EST December 13, 2005
UPDATED: 8:27 pm EST December 13, 2005

WOODSTOCK, Conn. -- The body of a woman who disappeared while jogging was found Tuesday on property owned by the performer who plays Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch on the popular children's television show "Sesame Street," a town official said.

( Read more... )