Sung to the tune of ELO's "Evil Woman" no doubt

While looking up the phrase "creepy space mormons" on the interweb because genericus had used it but he was asleep and I wondered if he originated it. Whew. Anyway, while doing that, I found it not, but instead found a really fucking weirdass text ad, which is below. You're welcome.

It's starting...

Playboy begins video "Bodcasts".

Don't mention the Moon

Bill O'Reilly doesn't want to smear the nice Reverend.

a babel into the void

If eye of the list "of the amis,", that it has this in this service, that is tests smooth-to love. She is people, admits to the year in the person. Others are new the acquaintance 0ccasional or friends, the V in the first place in the Internet, exact of you that the screw gushes on one changed cliff of left of the position. And it has then of you that I probably do not satisfy never, possibly, because it is distant characterizes he saws that therefore or their screw is various, than is not probable we with the part of the same zone. Which entire it in the common distance of the earth must, is clay/tone. The Internet can form a lot, in order to limit the world, but of a specific sense the zones do not become between we. To fine the fifteen years the friends from this new sense have earned the dozen, but too much so that they were only under, than always. Task that is does not originate them. It is of the crystal - to face the density and not of the face. It wants slowly to times that it could give the return to the distraction and to the stay of the better acquaintance and, of the idealizada before this entire communication.

Enrique, Hans, and Andrew also had little lambs but this was not recorded at the time.

1. I missed this on Pro-Med, but Aetiology caught it: Starving Miskito natives in Nicaragua are getting an inexplicable psychosis called "Grisis Signis". From my own point of view, being in a famine-stricken region due to a plague of rats would be enough reason to go nuts with a machete. Fascinating story, though.
   
   
2. The classic Tommy Seebach "Apache" video has at least two remixes
   
   
3. Oops. Just because he's an environmental activist doesn't mean he burned all the SUVs.
   
   
4. Shades of the hashishim: Guerillas in Iraq may be hopping themselves up with military hallucinogens. That sure would help if you were a suicide bomber. It's easier to be an asshole when you're high, too. Chris Hedges' account of the Bosnia war shows that hardcore murderers about to commit genocide always got really drunk first.
   
   
5. tuliphead alerts us to important tips on how to be a rock star guitar god. genericus please take note.
   
   
6. trinnit points out your new IM buddy problem: lol its not a virus lol im ur pal lol ur scrood sux 2 be u.
   
   
7. Hey ranai, what do you think of this Celebrity Caricature Finder? Seems like it might piss off you guys by harvesting stuff, but it's a fun toy.
   
   
8. San Francisco cheese mongers and other cheesy friends, beware of morons who think you have cocaine. (Thanks, vark!)
   
   
9. Let's deconstruct Christmas music. It's got to beat listening to the stuff.

From Spy Magazine, 1992

I grabbed this from an online archive of the magazine. Spy was the Onion and the Daily Show of the 1980s and early 1990s. This was one of my favorite bits and I'm glad to see it again.

Women in Love: Spy’s Pocket Guide to the Best-sellers

Ivana Trump, Woman of Letters – In her novel, For Love Alone, Ivana Trump tells the story of Katrinka Graham, a plucky Czech skiert who emigrates to America and marries the rich and powerful Adam Graham. A roman à clef? No way – Katrinka is beautiful without benefit of plastic surgery, and Adam is not a bullying blowhard. Here’s how Ivana captures Katrinka’s thoughts at certain dramatic moments:

• On skiing over the Czech border to freedom: “Ayiiiiii!”


• When consoling a friend on her troublesome love life: “Ay yi yi.”


• On meeting the long-lost son she gave up at birth: “Ay yi yi yi.”


• When finally divorced from Adam: “Ay yi yi yi.”


• On hearing her friend is deserting her husband: “Ay yi yi yi.”


• When she is offered a rich chocolate dessert: “Ay yi yi yi.”