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FOLKS WHEN WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO SCREEN ALL THE IMMIGRANTS FOR CRIME STUFF WE MEANT THE MEXICANS AND BASICALLY MEXICAN-TYPE CRIME AND WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE WHITE PEOPLE BEING DEPORTED WHEN ALL THEY DID WAS BURGLARY AND GUNS AND KNIVES AND ARSON AND REGICIDE AND HARASSMENT OF POSTAL INSPECTORS AND REGULAR OLD HOMEGROWN TERRISM? THAT'S RIGHT I SAID NO ABORTION CLINICS ON OUR NATION'S MOON!

Wider immigration net catches legal residents
Non-citizens accused of crimes are being affected by broader local enforcement of law.
By JEFF OVERLEY
THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

She hails from a well-to-do family with a hilltop home in Orange. She's a mother of two who made a decent living in cosmetology and studied in college to be a teacher.

Sharon Denise Lee might not be the sort of person people had in mind when local law enforcement bolstered immigration screening efforts in recent months.

But the 46-year-old, who came to the United States from England when she was 19, now sits in county jail, awaiting deportation because of several run-ins with the law, including commercial burglary and possession of drug paraphernalia.

but wait there's more! )
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Tonight I almost ran over an entire pack of ironically metalled-out 20somethings who were tittering across the street after a Scorpions concert at the fairgrounds. The cops were having a joyous time arresting them all for misdemeanor irony. Aren't the Scorpions, like, 60 years old now?

Looking through the police blotter I see that:
  • There was a drive by shooting around the corner from my house (East Bay St.)

  • Someone found the remains of a bound and decapitated lamb, which appeared to have been sacrificed by some loons celebrating the Solstice (way to handle your GOTH PARTY, assholes!).

  • Some local buffoons put an ad on Craigslist selling very illegal fireworks and all got arrested. Bonus points: the ringleader, teen henchman #1, and teen henchman #2 all have Myspaces so we can laugh at them.

  • A local couple were convicted of slavery this week. That'll look awesome when you apply for a job at Wendy's after you get out. Please list your felonies on this form.

  • There are two separate ongoing criminal cases at once right now of guys who licked people's feet.
On the plus side, my friend Craig made it into the Weekly for being a 581% insane hardcore bicyclist. He's clearly made from liquid metal.

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