substitute

I'd like to point out that Generalissimo Greg Haidl is Still in Prison.

Where he belongs. Because sometimes, even in Orange County, even when you're rich as hell, even when your dad is an Assistant Sheriff, even when the Sheriff himself is a corrupt sonofa bitch and the D.A. is in his pocket, even when the arresting department is the Newport Beach P.D., even when you hire the nastiest legal team and private investigators and slime your victim, even when you plead mental illness and exhaustion, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO GO TO JAIL FOR RAPING A DRUGGED FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL WITH FOREIGN OBJECTS AND VIDEOTAPING IT.

Score one for Hattie Carroll.

The Guardian reports that the Chinese government is making cosmetic products out of the skin of executed prisoners.

After I finished retching and clawing at my face, I composed myself and thought "Hmm, there must be some way to get in on this one." I figure there are going to be more executions here, mostly of younger people, and increasingly by lethal injection which leaves things looking good. One problem is that our Death Row population is mostly dark brown and our high-end cosmetics buyer tends to be light pink. I'm not sure whether we're going to go with bleaching the convicts or just selling the products to tanning salons as Jared suggested.

Product name suggestions are Justice: Strong Supple Skin for Him and Lifeskin Recyclables Body Rejuvenator.