substitute

Due to the nature of the threat revealed by this investigation, we are prohibiting any liquids, including beverages, hair gels, and lotions from being carried on the airplane.

Orange alert, Red from the U.K. Hairspray and lotion involved. The last five years has been a freakin' 80s revival already.

Do I even need to spell this out?

Gosh, I wonder who planted this one?

Of course it's entirely possible that Iran is supplying arms to groups inside Iraq, but why the hell would they be arming Sunni insurgents? And considering the NYT's record on covering exploding things in Iraq, you know. I call disinformation!

Oh, and didn't we meet this sniper back at Khe Sanh back in '68?