substitute

So, you know, bottled water. Most of it is somewhat-filtered tap water. Gotta have a gimmick to sell it. Sometimes they put vitamins or electrolytes in it, not a bad idea. Sometimes they put caffeine or a little bit of fruit in it, okay. Sometimes they claim they've put oxygen in it to make you more oxygen-y, which is pathetic. Or they just want you to like them, so they put a picture of someone nice on it.

And then there's water that's been... ...liked. The good folks at H2OM Water sell "Water with Intention".

You all may remember an insane Japanese man who says that water changes when you think nice thoughts. "The Hidden Messages in Water", etc. He was in that movie "Do You Fucking Expect Me to Believe This Shit" or whatever it was called. He's an affable lunatic. Mix affable lunacy with marketing and you have our next Dr. Bronner.

Inspired by these studies, H2Om was created. A crystal clear natural spring water brand infused with the power of intention through words, music and thought. We gratefully offer you an interactive invitation to drink in and resonate with the vibrational frequencies of Love and Perfect Health.

Now absolute purity comes in Five Fantastic Infusions

NOW AVAILABLE:
LOVE
PERFECT HEALTH

COMING SOON:
WILL POWER
PROSPERITY
and
GRATITUDE

I'm glad they're coming out with the gratitude one, because after I've got love and perfect health I'll be needing to feel more grateful.

Reading their infusion process, it seems to consist of 1) picking out a label color and 2) playing music at the water in a warehouse.

Science was cool, wasn't it? Man I'm nostalgic already.