inventory sale

[substitute]

I return from my vacation to find my friends & family in heaven and hell simultaneously. The count among people up to 2 degrees from me is:

1 animal bite requiring ER visit and antibiotics
1 big promotion and raise
4 bone fractures (in four separate people!)
1 new and incurable liver disease of unknown origin
2 breakups
2 acceptances to good academic programs
1 new cancer diagnosis
1 government grant
1 childhood asthma diagnosis
2 new apartments that were greatly desired

If I touch you, either you'll get $50,000 in small bills or your left patella will explode.

Comments

[substitute.livejournal.com]

My mother did. She was outside brushing the cat and Pouss saw another cat. Mayhem resulted.