The brain is a poorly understood organ

[substitute]

List of things I do that have no point or rhyme or reason or meaning but are compulsive and necessary:

• Say “you are the cat!” to the cat, often
  
• Count while peeing as if the number when I finish is significant
  
• Rest one hand on the gearshift while driving although I have not driven stick for many years
  
• Look at pretty girls
  
• Continue through a story doggedly even when I realize everyone has heard it
  
• Shake a bottle of pills slightly before taking one
  
• Spin the vinyl backwards when putting a vinyl record on a turntable
  
• Get up every day and live my life in the absence of evidence that it’s meaningful
  
• Take a toothpick from the restaurant front counter
  
• Try to repair damaged friendships
  
• Bark at dogs
  

Comments

[jonpants.livejournal.com]

I do all those same things except taking the toothpick from the front counter because on the news they said that those things are covered in fecal which is also known as poop so its like hey i want to clean between my teeth and maybe you get the leftover chicken bits out but in their place you have fecal which is also known as poop and thats gross.