SO I'VE BEEN BROWSING MYSPACE TONIGHT

I'VE FOUND OUT A LOT OF STUFF, OKAY.

FIRST OF ALL I CAN GET UPSCALE ACCESS TO PROMOTIONAL EVENTS AND PARTIES THROUGH UPSCALE ACCESS BECAUSE THEY ARE MY HOOKUP TO THE SCENE. THE SCENE IS WHERE YOU TO TO RESTAURANTS HERE IN TOWN AND PAY EXTRA AND THERE ARE DRUNK BLONDE WOMEN THERE WITH SPRAY ON TANS. THE MEMBERSHIP IN UPSCALE ACCESS IS SO EXCITING TO THESE WOMEN THAT QUITE A FEW OF THEM ARE SEEN LICKING THE MEMBERSHIP CARDS OR STROKING THEIR CLEAVAGE WITH THE CARDS AND SEEM VERY HAPPY DOING THIS. I AM NOT SURE HOW THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM JUST GOING TO A RESTAURANT AND HAVING SOME SEX AFTERWARDS BUT I GUESS IT'S PRETTY GOOD.

I ALSO LEARNED THAT THE MAJORITY OF NEW MYSPACE MEMBERS TONIGHT ARE YOUNG WOMEN WHO HAVE JUST GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND WANT TO MEET FUN PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY'RE NEW IN TOWN. WHAT'S WEIRD IS THAT THEY ALL LOOK LIKE 30-YEAR-OLD PROFESSIONAL BIKINI MODELS. MAYBE HIGH SCHOOL IS DIFFERENT NOW, I DUNNO.

I LEARNED THAT SOME GUY FOR REASONS OF HIS OWN IS MAKING PROFILES FOR THE ENTIRE 1995 GRADUATING CLASS OF CORONA DEL MAR HIGH SCHOOL WITH THE REAL NAMES AND PICTURES OF THOSE PEOPLE PROBABLY WITHOUT TALKING TO THEM FIRST. THAT'S GOING TO BE A PARTY BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL ABOUT THE AGE TO BE GRADUATING FROM LAW SCHOOL ABOUT NOW AND I THINK MAYBE THEY WON'T LIKE THIS SO MUCH.

OH AND ONE OTHER THING THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED ULTRA LOUNGE NOW. IT LOOKS LIKE A REGULAR DISCO EXCEPT IT HAS TECHNO MUSIC ON A LOOP AND THE DRINKS ARE TEN DOLLARS. I AM NOT SURE WHY IT'S AN ULTRA LOUNGE BECAUSE THE PICTURES ARE JUST OF DRUNK PEOPLE OR BOOTH BABES FROM THE TRADE SHOW IN MINIDRESSES BUT MAYBE THERE ARE SOME REALLY GOOD LOUNGE TYPE CHAIRS IN THE PLACE THAT ARE SUPER COMFORTABLE.

IT WAS REALLY TIRING READING ABOUT THE ULTRA LOUNGES AND THE BIKINI MODELS AND ALL THE ENERGY DRINKS AND PROMOTIONS AND STUFF. I THINK THESE PEOPLE MUST BE A LOT MORE COMMITTED TO AN UPSCALE LIFESTYLE THAN I AM BECAUSE IT SORT OF WORE ME OUT JUST LEARNING ALL THIS NEW STUFF.

ALSO WHEN I WAS BROWSING THROUGH THE PEOPLE ON MYSPACE I SAW THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUNCH OF THOSE 30 YEAR OLD BIKINI MODELS WHO JUST GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL:

Costa Mesa History X

Allan Mansoor is Costa Mesa's David Duke, their Jorg Haider. He's a smooth, well-groomed, and unctuously multisyllabic racist. He presents his anti-Mexican program as a combination of respect for law and preservation of the city's prosperity.

Behind every smiling frontman like Mansoor, though, there's an oaf with a club. In this case it's Martin H. Millard, a Neo-Nazi white supremacist of the familiar type: paranoid, ignorant, obsessed with racial purity, and self-published. He's a nut, and a dangerous one.

And behind Millard is an even scarier group: violent white supremacist gangs, who mix racial violence in with their drug deals and auto theft. Guys like the one who beat up a black guy in a wheelchair outside a Circle K last month for no particular reason.

Millard and Allan are good buddies, and the same goes for Minuteman Jim Gilchrist. Mansoor turns a blind eye to Millard's race-mix paranoia and Gilchrist's illegal vigilantes, and they all pretend to be law-abiding citizens and deplore street crime, which is of course an "immigrant" problem.

Costa Mesans, do not be fooled. Mansoor's buddies aren't just making you cringe with their crackpot racist screeds. They're also hotwiring your car, selling speed to your kid, and doing drive-by shootings. Costa Mesa is a practical capitalist town for small businessmen. Whatever else you guys need from your city government, you need the rule of law, not a lawless ideology.

Dump your mayor. He's no friend to anyone but pathetic Nazi losers and their thug crew.