offer

I’m in that “nothing to lose” and “consequences matter not” mode right now. So if anyone needs a major felony committed, or a hugely humiliating task completed, or a 47 Ronin style suicide attack done, just let me know; I’m your guy!

Yours,

that Guy with Nothing to Lose

You can also mix the red and white to get rosé!

An article in the WSJ covered nutritional content of alcoholic beverages today. Good article, actually, with some surprising results (Guinness has less carbs than bad American beers like Budweiser, for example).

However, this gem of modern idiocy was included:

Jayde Feinstein, a 22-year-old office manager in Los Angeles, dilutes the cranberry juice in her cranberry and vodka with a little water to limit her sugar and carbs. She also dilutes red wine with sparkling water to make sparkling wine. “It’s a brilliant way to minimize the carbs, but still get the same flavor you desire.”

Jayde? No.

Guh.

Can I start over, please? This has all been a dreadful mistake.

Youths! Please verify this piece of Pop Culture Information.

I am told that there is a “new style” of “slam dancing”. I am further told that this resembles fake kung fu in place, the kind of thing you see street crazies doing, like shadow boxing.

1. Is this true?

2. If this is true, can someone please show me a picture of it happening?

3. Please direct me to the next place it is likely to happen, so that I can be there with a Supr-Soaker full of cat pee.

Yours truly,

An old punk

assorted apologies

I haven’t been feeling very good lately, and I’ve flaked on some things.

Joe & Co.: sorry about the mix cd. Will get it done when I can.

thiscantbesoy: didn’t find a way to get that gift certificate. I suck. sorry.

Ferdinand: I haven’t been to any of your shows in about a year even though I really like your music. Oops. Sorry.

Everyone I was supposed to be involved with in some fun web project: sorry.

I guess that about covers it.

phone/AIM/email contacting me

My hiptop/sidekick is dying and they are mailing me a new one. Therefore cellphone access to me may be spotty for the next week or so, as well as the rapidity of my responses to AIM or email.

carry on

Only connect, only connect

Look, it’s just what we’re all doing here, it’s a business, it’s a thing. We have this line on a new brand and we’re giving 60 pounds each to all the firehouses. I cannot! I cannot! This is impossible. The elevator opens up right into the space. Yeah, it’s a noodle place and it expanded into the whole building. The landlord bought her a cat.

Look I know the difference, that isn’t celebration it’s self medication. If you’d look at the label you’d see what I mean. Back up and listen to what you’re saying. I’ve achieved some horrible trifecta. That guy you could see it in his eyes, he was just mean as hell.

So I guess you’re an expert on my life, is that it? Does trading oxy for beer mean anything to you? Do you read the fiction? The guy is an idea factory, but how does he keep going?

Sure, that’s my background but I’m not into that ethnic thing. I decided I wanted them back and I have to live with what I did before.

My situation is impossible and I’m not at all okay. What did you expect me to say? It was the best $500 we ever spent.

Quality is quantity?

jtemperance posted something fascinating that you should read if the arts or engineering are important to you:

http://www.livejournal.com/~jtemperance/72272.html

It stretched my head, anyway!

Sorry, Tool fans

But I agree with all of this.