I would just like to point out

That alcohol may not solve problems, but it sure does chase them away for a couple of hours.

Maker's Mark, I salute you. You've killed my pointless crush, my self-image worries, my career concerns, and my fear of death.

Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drunk
For fellows whom it hurts to think
Look into the pewter pot
To see the world as the world's not
Malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man

hic.

Grease up the ball joints, I need to pull my rebar

Tool catalogs are the height of sublimated sexuality. I got the Amazon/Tool Crib catalog in the mail and was browsing through it without much comprehension (I do not build things). the "stud finder" and the "concrete vibrator" were bad enough, but when I got to the 8" Freud Dada I chorfed my coffee.

If anyone needs me, I'll be grinding my joist down or spraying on some Screw Relaxer.