Grease up the ball joints, I need to pull my rebar

[substitute]

Tool catalogs are the height of sublimated sexuality. I got the Amazon/Tool Crib catalog in the mail and was browsing through it without much comprehension (I do not build things). the "stud finder" and the "concrete vibrator" were bad enough, but when I got to the 8" Freud Dada I chorfed my coffee.

If anyone needs me, I'll be grinding my joist down or spraying on some Screw Relaxer.