Through a glass dorkly

Walking out of the office tonight, I saw a TV tuned to what I think was FOX News. It was showing a couple of muppets with the headline banner "HIV MUPPET UPDATE" on it.

Dear Media:

I don't want to know.

Love,

Substitute

Find my whaaa...?

From: Find your Nerf Bars <findyournerfbars@vmadmin.com>
To: Mayflower <milkmansam@milkmen.org>
Subject: Trick out your truck.

Best quiz yet

( I'm mad, mad, mad they say )

Here Comes Everybody!

She stands behind me in the kitchen and takes the spoon out of my hand and hands me another. What can I say, I'm a natural lunatic. Those scooters were made for clotheslines. Tell you what, I'll call back in a week and we'll get this thing going, right? ok? right? Please respond asap as I have a conference call with the interested parties. I'm going to have 9 because 12 gives you cancer. Serious as a heart attack. It's a, what do you call it, fraud problem. The Tesh never stops. They had a metal bible there, I am not kidding. I have a schwoo up me. My gardener has two colors of skin. We're working on it but we have no ETA. I am not selling anything; this is an opportunity. I turned the pan upside down and FLOP. That's his "good" outfit, he only has one. All right my man, there you go, enjoy. That's what I'm sayin'. Like I said. I just love to laugh, love my kids, love to travel. I think it usually means you have to make some really big changes. I'm over it. It's crazy. I think I did it.

What the hell happened to Al Roker?

Detail:


Spray tanning booth disaster? Blackface gone awry? Photoshop error at Time-Warner-Disney-Monocorp? ALIENS?

Email subject line truncation horrors

From: American Express
Subject: Gold Card Events - BETTE MIDLER COMES

American Health (irc funnies)

ignatz: ow peppermint extract
ignatz: again, peppermint tea is QUITE ENOUGH
stimps: some people don't get it
ignatz: Here, try this glass of wintergreen extract oops dead
stimps: IF A LITTLE IS GOOD THEN LET ME KILL YOU

( AND THEN YOUR COLON FALLS OUT )