substitute: (brainslug)
[personal profile] substitute
Once again it's time to review our talking points, goals, warnings, key initiatives, and do-its. It's more important than ever to keep a laser-like focus on our bullet points and remain at a nose-to-grindstone status. Below are some non-negotiable items from the 100,000 foot level:
  • Steroid and doping scandals in scrapbooking: zero tolerance.

  • Compulsory mark-to-market pricing of school lunches.

  • Can "green jobs" truly be color-blind?

  • The war on Secretaries' Day

  • Our national parks: boondoggle, or force majeure?

  • Punitive tariffs on boy bands

  • Flossing: another liberal lie?
If you have any questions or comments please don't hesitate to contact me directly. My door is always open.

senator! senator!

Date: 2009-04-23 12:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] perich.livejournal.com
Gerald Marion, Herald-Clarion. Senator: it's come to my paper's attention that several players at the so-called NFL "combine" have no experience whatsoever at harvesting, threshing or cleaning grain crops. Your proposed actions?

Re: senator! senator!

Date: 2009-04-23 01:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] substitute.livejournal.com
As a sports fan and a lifelong supporter of America's family farms, I agree. It's time a commission was chartered to build bridges between the gridiron and the granary.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-23 01:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jenlight.livejournal.com
Flossing: another liberal lie?

Darn tootin'

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-23 02:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bobby isosceles (from livejournal.com)
David Kellerman, Freddie Mac CEO: THIS ADMINISTRATION'S VINCE FOSTER?

Finally!

Date: 2009-04-23 03:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] taskboy3000.livejournal.com
Leadership! This country's gone to hell I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-23 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-strych9.livejournal.com
I love it when you channel Markoff Cheney.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-23 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wanderingaengus.livejournal.com
  • Shovel-ready enhanced interrogation techniques.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-23 08:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] threepunchstuff.livejournal.com
With regards to the bulleted list as a whole, have we explored possible avenues for monetization?

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-23 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capn-jil.livejournal.com
have we considered crowdsourcing some possible solutions to these issues?

INQUIRING MINDS.

but what about...

Date: 2009-04-24 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drieuxster.livejournal.com
The Killer Shoe Laces From Outer Space who have been killing so many innocent ones!!!

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!

Re: but what about...

Date: 2009-04-24 01:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] substitute.livejournal.com
We must not let our justified anger endanger law-abiding members of the Aglet-American community.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-24 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] substitute.livejournal.com
You're SOAKING in it!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-24 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] substitute.livejournal.com
We don't have a clear revenue stream, but as always we are a biz dev focused environment.

Re: but what about...

Date: 2009-04-24 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drieuxster.livejournal.com
Oh sure!!!

But have you noticed the number of people whom the liberal media are reporting either tried to commit suicide with their shoe laces, OR, were actually found murdered having been shot by the so called ROPE that they were suppose to have committed suicide with!!!

I say it is time to tell those Aglet-Americans that This IS American America, and we are not going to stand for their open support for the Communist Nationalists RedBluePinkBlack types who are Destroying our Loafer Ways with their evil GODLESS shoe laces...

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