Also we recommend feng shui if your teeth fell out

[substitute]

My health "insurer," Blue Shield of California, just sent me a helpful note about anxiety.

They point out that we're all anxious because of "recent world events," and that's normal.

They then go on to suggest every possible solution for mental distress that does not cost them money. Included are: homeopathy (!!!) which can "bring temporary relief."

Also included are "Complementary and alternative health" solutions which are all very inexpensive and not covered by any insurance.

It's a wonder they don't just tell people to drink.

I await their instructions on setting your broken leg with reiki, wearing magnetic pants to reduce arthritis, and the magic of going overseas to get health care where they don't have to hear about it.

Fuckers.

Comments

[caladri.livejournal.com]

Dude homeopathy totally gives me panic attacks because living in a world made unpredictable by magic puts me on edge. I prefer to live in the universe where the theory of gravity isn't just a theory and Deepak Chopra is an idiot. Dude seriously you think a universe where RECENT WORLD EVENTS are chaotic is bad what about one where RECENT WORLD PHYSICS is unpredictable and HOMEOPATHY WORKS. Argh.

They should send all of their customers a free big fat placebo. Then they can talk about how they have the best treatment for fibromyalgia in the world.

[fattmike.livejournal.com]

We're sorry... Placebo is not available as a generic medication, and as such, we are unable to provide it to you. We have enclosed a coupon for a free carton of Marlboro cigarettes as an alternative. Thank you for choosing Blue Shield of California for all of your health needs.

[oxeador.livejournal.com]

Placebo is available and in many forms: homeopathy, reiki, reflexology, prayer, ...