Bob Trout's Patented Landlord Revenge Method

[substitute]

To be used only as a last resort if evicted by or fleeing a truly evil landlord. Note: extremely illegal; may result in fines or imprisonment. Not endorsed by anyone sane.

Freeze 2 lbs ground meat.

Place frozen ground meat in five or so concentric zip-lock freezer bags. Make hole in wall large enough to admit bagged frozen meat.

Place meat in hole.

Plaster and paint over hole so that it appears to be just fine.

Move out.

Roughly six months later a damp explosion occurs, causing a stench that no man can smell and live, and requiring the destruction of the apartment.

Comments

[nosrialleon.livejournal.com]

I hated my neighbor. No, not the last place, the place on the peninsula where I lived before I moved to Andy's house in Costa Mesa. This was some bro guy. I believe he was a bouncer at The Warehouse. The guy would talk shit about me. There was no incident that set this off, no offence given or recieved, we never exchanged more than, say, 10 words the entire time we lived next to each other. It was literally because I have long hair. That's it. I'd hear him talk shit about me through our paper-thin common wall. Ficking dickstain.

Anywho, while I was moving, I couldn't help but notice that immediately beneath his window was an egress under the house; the protecting screen had a tear in it. I had some eggs that didn't really need to come with me. I put them there. That was June. I wonder what his room smelled like in August?