General statements of minor grumpery

[substitute]

1. Don't try to use the heart symbol in anything on the internet, ever ever ever. You instead will get a pipe: |. Also, you're trying to use a heart symbol. Just stop!
   
   
2. That thing that ships your twitter to LJ is pointless and a mild annoyance.
   
   
3. Sentences beginning with "Check out..." are forbidden.
   
   
4. When you say 'Muah!" to indicate an air kiss, you make others sad and tired.
   
   
5. If you're reading this, you're rich. This may seem surprising, but it's true.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

#5 is something I need to be reminded of more often.
#4 makes me sad, tired, and gassy.

[judgefudge.livejournal.com]

ASCII heart or &heart;?

[substitute.livejournal.com]

The latter. It just always comes out wrong.

[mendel.livejournal.com]

#5 is uncanny.

[ganatronic.livejournal.com]

Now I feel like going back through my posts to see how many times I type, "Check out..." I feel like I'm often advising people to check out stuff.

[ganatronic.livejournal.com]

Maybe I should stop feeling so much.

Feel/think

[torgo-x.livejournal.com]

I think it was Paul Fussell,
or maybe Gore Vidal, who said that it got
on his nerves when people would say "I feel that [subclause]" instead of
"I think that [subclause]"– as if their
power of sentiment were so developed that
it could take over for their actual consciousness in,
say, feeling that the yuan
being pegged to the dollar has advantages
as well as disadvantages.

I say 1) they should pick their battles, and 2)
just maybe "I feel that [subclause]"
is just a combination of trying to
sound non-committal while, incidentally,
reaching at sounding formal (which is something
that often produces malapropisms in people without
great practice in it).

(And anyway, "I feel like [doing something]"
is immune to this whole consideration, because it's an unrelated
idiom. "Tengo ganas de...", etc)

Re: Feel/think

[substitute.livejournal.com]

"Check out..." is usually a marketing sin, and in this category I include newsletters and broadcast emails from friends.

When I'm paying attention, I remove the "I feel that" or "I think that" completely because of course I think this, I'm writing it! It's one of the Omit Needless Words things.

I know I fail a lot though because this is such a colloquial medium.

Re: Feel/think

[dreamyshade.livejournal.com]

IMHO [hahaha], omitting "i feel that" and "i think that" (and "kind of" and "maybe" and other weak words) is a matter of choosing the proper register. those phrases don't belong in formal/persuasive/expository writing, but they're useful when you're talking to irritable people. putting on a superficial show of submission helps soften them up, calm them a little, make them think that they have some control - which helps you convince them to listen to whatever you were trying to say.

"check out" is always dumb though.

Re: Feel/think

[marieoroumania.livejournal.com]

Cuando hablas espanol cerca una guera como mi, estoy muy caliente.

Re: Feel/think

[marieoroumania.livejournal.com]

Disculpame, soy borracha.

[trinnit.livejournal.com]

I just send you URLs, the Check out..is implied but not written.

[vonandmoggy.livejournal.com]

*looks around for piles of money*

[sakkaranoush.livejournal.com]

Ditto on the Twitter posts. Is it annoying that I just said ditto?

I like to misread "Muah" as "mwahahahaha", which makes no sense but makes things more interesting.

[brianenigma.livejournal.com]

I've started emailing people about #2, although it seems to have done nothing. If I care, I'll subscribe to the person's updates directly in Twitter. If I don't, I don't want to see every last little update on LJ. If there is a truly interesting and fun conversation snippet, then it can be manually pasted into one's blog without much trouble, perhaps with a little commentary about the context.

[substitute.livejournal.com]

Exactly. It's two media that don't mix. This mashup tastes awful, etc.

[marieoroumania.livejournal.com]

I always thought saying or typing "muah" meant you either have breast implants or you are dating somebody who has breast implants.

[substitute.livejournal.com]

I'll start pretending that. It's way funnier than the reality! Thanks!

[marieoroumania.livejournal.com]

Whatever, if I say it, it's so! This is MY world. Mwah!

[catamorphism.livejournal.com]

I ♥ you for this.

[substitute.livejournal.com]

thanx muah!!!! :*:*:*:*

[catamorphism.livejournal.com]

Also, I am far from rich -- in fact, upper-middle-class.

[substitute.livejournal.com]

HA!! to both. :-D

hearts and unicorns

[http://users.livejournal.com/__procession/]

check out this radness: <3

Re: hearts and unicorns

[substitute.livejournal.com]

Is this something you learned in COLLEGE?!?!?!?!?

Re: hearts and unicorns

[besskeloid.livejournal.com]

A dunce cap with norks.

[threepunchstuff.livejournal.com]

# Ate some fucking sandwich. 12:21:37
# Took a poop. 12:57:01
# Still poop. 1:04:17
# I wonder what Kathy Bates is doing right now. 11:08:45

[substitute.livejournal.com]

<3

[baconmeteor.livejournal.com]

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