DEAR THE CINGULAR/AT&T PHONE COMPANY

[substitute]

I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE IT IF:

MY PHONE RANG WHEN PEOPLE CALLED ME INSTEAD OF SENDING THEM TO VOICE MAIL

THE VOICE MAIL INDICATOR WOULD SHOW THAT I HAD RECEIVED SAID VOICEMAIL SOONER THAN 12 HOURS LATER

THE PHONE WOULD NOT CRASH WHEN LEFT UNATTENDED

THE PHONE, WHEN RESTARTED, WOULD REMEMBER MY NETWORK PASSWORD SO THAT I COULD USE ITS NETWORK FEATURES

THE PHONE, WHEN RESTARTED, WOULD REMEMBER MY WIFI AUTHENTICATION FOR SIMILAR REASONS

THERE WAS ANY INDICATION THAT ANYONE KNEW OR CARED THAT THESE PROBLEMS ARE OCCURRING

BEST,

substitute

Comments

Condolences

[tomsdisch.livejournal.com]

for all the shit that keeps burying you alive. I have never had a cellphone and your all-caps lamentation isa further reason why I never will. Of course, being housebound I would have no use for one, except to be spared having to walk across the room. And my deskphone can't take short movies and email them to Ethipia, so I am missing that modern convenience.

Re: Condolences

[tomsdisch.livejournal.com]

ps. When I first saw your subject line I thought it was addressed to

The Cingulariat Phone Co. I could at once imagine their building looming above me, a darker Secratariat staffed staffed a Russian-style bureaucracy.

Re: Condolences

[substitute.livejournal.com]

I often think that the telephone companies are one of the last vestiges of the Soviet Empire.