Today in Junk Mail (paper kind)

[substitute]

Mom gets junk mail with message on the outside: "FREE PREPAID CREMATION! DETAILS INSIDE."

Her: "I can't wait to find out how this deal works!"

Me: "For chrissakes don't open that envelope until you're ready to be cremated!"

Comments

[kasheri.livejournal.com]

She gets mail like that, and she's enthusiastic about it? Your mother has an uncommon amount of grace. I'd throw the thing away, covered with the spittle of my shouted invectives.