See also "Natural Chips"

[substitute]

At Mother's Market tonight I saw a "Calorie-Free Honey BBQ Sauce." What the. Response from friends via Sidekick included:

torgo_x: It's WINDEX!!

hweimei: Where do they get the calorie-free honey? Wait, don't answer that.

mendel: Frankenbees. (tiny, tiny terminals protruding from its neck) "Come quickly! I have invented the Splendabee!"

There was indeed sucralose in the ingredients. I wonder how you get the calories out of honey, though, so you can still use that word but without, um, honey? Scared.

Comments

[frobisher.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it is "honey" in the way that Velveeta is "cheese" or Twinkies are "food".

[substitute.livejournal.com]

Velveeta is "pasteurized process cheese food" which is a way of saying it's vinyl. I think you can't used reserved words like "honey" without a certain amount of honey, which means they did... something.

Velveeta

[(Anonymous)]

Ah, yes...but have you ever had GENERIC Velveeta? It's called "Pasturized processed cheese food substitute" and it bounces when you drop it on the floor. (Long story.)

[dr-strych9.livejournal.com]

More than likely what they did was produce a substitute with a zero calorie sweetener mixed with the various natural substances that one finds in typical honey, which are mostly wax, nectar, and parts of bees. Everything but the zero calorie sweeteners are already produced for the purpose of making other honey flavored things— you can buy it for making honey flavored beer, for example, because pouring straight honey into the fermenter tends to make the resulting beer taste horrible.

[threepunchstuff.livejournal.com]

I once tried to produce a substitute out of wax, nectar and parts of bees. The resulting atrocity is wreaking havoc somewhere on Vox now, I think.

[frobisher.livejournal.com]

To quote the Uncle Bonsai song "Family Restaurant": Velveeta... it's like cheese with the perfect disguise.

[do-not-lick.livejournal.com]

I was looking for the FDA definition of honey, to see if maybe it wasn't a regulated word, or if maybe it became unregulared when paired with other words. (I mean, maybe "Honey BBQ" can be anything tasting like honey BBQ, without having to have actual honey or actual BBQ in it.)

Anyways, instead I found The EAFUS. So now, if you have a prodcut, and you're curious if it can be added to food, you can find out.

[do-not-lick.livejournal.com]

Aha! According to ketchupworld.com, Calorie Free Honey BBQ Sauce contains no honey.

The largest pruveyor of ketchups in the WORLD!

Contact the Ketchupman.

[besskeloid.livejournal.com]

I love that Natural Chips song 'Organic Rubber Biscuit'.

Blech.

[(Anonymous)]

Calorie Free, Honey, BBQ Sauce!

--Laura