Nail the license key to the mast

[substitute]

From a tattered diary page found floating on the mucilaginous ooze of the Salton Sea, June 28 2006:

Day 3 of the Windows XP install. Aft #3 torpedo tube is flooded. Captain refusing to leave his quarters. Lt. Zip has not returned from installing the Com+ Deep Fryer and Full-Service Hapax Legomenon (Disabled) (Automatic) (Brazilian). I know that I shall never see my true love or my dear parents again. A watery grave awaits.

Comments

[nebris.livejournal.com]

Isn't this the point where the REALLY FAT MAN IN A RED AND WHITE STRIPED SHIRT AND A BIG SILLY HAT WITH A TASSEL ON IT is supposed to jump in to save the day?

~M~

[odradak.livejournal.com]

My Dearest Matilda,

I know I haven't got much time left. I'm writing to you with my last ounce of strength and I couldn't bare to leave this world without letting you know what has transpired over what will be the last hours of my life.
The video for the spa jet company has had me by the throat. The audio supplied by the client has lead me down a path that I hadn't anticipated; filled with jittery camera movement and sloppy choreography. Any attempt to make it interesting has brought me to this horrible failure. Even depth of field tricks, of which you are so fond, lend nothing to the project. Like ketchup on cow-pies.
Now I realize that my lighting is all wrong. All wrong...
Time is running out, my love, the deadline is at my ankles.

[substitute.livejournal.com]

[SAD SOLO FIDDLE MUSIC]
[GRAINY SEPIA-TONE PHOTOS]
[SLIDE STYLE TRANSITION TO MORE PHOTOS]
[OUT OF MEMORY ERROR]

[trinnit.livejournal.com]

NEEDS A STAR WIPE

[besskeloid.livejournal.com]

Sincerely yours,


Josh.

mucilage fills my psyche

[taskboy3000.livejournal.com]

You and your fancy-pants words! I had to go ALL THE WAY OVER to an internet dictionary to look up "mucilaginous" and now I will have to use this new word and it's root all the time.

At this rate, my brain will be filled with so many new words that I won't be able to remember the dialog from every Monty Python show.

Damn you, sir!

Re: mucilage fills my psyche

[substitute.livejournal.com]

Now that's ass-er-taining!

[tuliphead.livejournal.com]

I'd never have crossed the Salton Sea so wide if I hadn't been ruled by fools