"While My Guitar Gently Beeps"

[substitute]

Fed up posing in front of the mirror strumming a tennis racket? Still searching in vain for the lost chord? Help is on hand for all aspiring rock gods thanks to Fender® and Intel, who’ve teamed up to create a concept guitar that explores the possibilities and redefines the term ‘music on the move’ – an internet-enabled super guitar**.”

Beginning with the iconic FENDER Telecaster ® - made famous by legends from Bruce Springsteen to Franz Ferdinand – the ‘surf guitar’ is the world’s first to allow you to download and playback your favourite riffs from the internet without touching the strings, so you can sound like Bo Diddley while doing diddly-squat.

Incorporating the latest Intel® Centrino® Mobile technology, the supercharged TELE® also means players can:

• Send a quick email in-between songs on stage
  
• Scour the web for inspiration… or chords they’ve forgotten
  
• Practice their guitar solo grimaces via a built in webcam
  
• Check their royalties online

[...]
Simon Shipley, UK and Ireland Brand Manager said: “Forty years after the first surf guitar sounds came out of California, a new generation of ‘surfing guitars’ have been born.”

“With this guitar, it doesn’t matter if you’re Joe Walsh or Joe Bloggs, you’ll sound just as good once you get this guitar online, download a few of your favourite tracks, and strike a pose in front of the mirror. And if you’re already halfway to becoming a rock legend, this guitar will help you to record, playback and email your music to your agent, your band, or just your mates with the minimum hassle.

http://www.intel.com/cd/corporate/pressroom/emea/eng/248418.htm

Comments

[compilerbitch.livejournal.com]

Hmm.

I read that, read it again.

Hmm.

Now if someone did this *properly*, the result could be a mindbogglingly amazing instrument. Put a separate pickup on each string, with a 6 channel ADC, into plenty of DSP horsepower. A front end that can compile DSP code, a la Kyma. More controllers on the guitar itself -- maybe a joystick made to look like a whammy bar, or maybe even a mini-synth keyboard. It could sound like anything, and be capable of ridiculous stunts. I want one. Pity it doesn't exist.

The Intel/Fender thing is 100% PR stunt. Lame.

[changeng.livejournal.com]

this was supposed to happen AFTER real music completely died. like next year some time.

another Bush oversight?

all hail the new flesh

[substitute.livejournal.com]

nickjb and I agreed today that you are one of the very few people who could do something fun with this device. I'm sure you would grossly disappoint Intel's marketing droids, too.

Re: all hail the new flesh

[changeng.livejournal.com]

why, thankee!

disappointment is my stock in trade! my motto has always been, "Aim low and then dig".

you should have seen the looks I got the time I played slinky at the NAMM convention. it was like I just raped a mother.

?????

[hersheyjumper.livejournal.com]

Joe should sue their asses for even mentioning his name.

Re: ?????

[substitute.livejournal.com]

Joe Bloggs should too, whoever the hell he might be.

[frobisher.livejournal.com]

Leaving THE HORROR THE HORROR aside for a moment, I should point out that teles were almost never used for surf. Just about every other Fender was, but the only band I've *ever* seen use a tele was a local nyc surf band (either the Supertones or the Irreversible Slacks) in very recent years. So fuck that "40 years" shit.

Unfortunately, since it's not happened with other violations of the laws of nature (see, for instance, the Jag-Stang), I don't suppose the rotting corpse of Leo Fender will rise up and explain things to them, IYNWIM, AITYD.