Hoist by his own retard

[substitute]

I was being tailgated by a Hummer H2 today, which wasn't a surprise around here. I looked in the rear vision mirror and, as I often too, thought it was a school bus due to the size, row of lights on top, and bright yellow color. A lot of the Hummers are Tonka/Lifeguard Yellow. The guy eventually zoomed around me in true H2 asshole style and then it hit me and the giggles started.

That guy just paid $60,000 to drive his own fucking short bus.

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[maps-or-guitars.livejournal.com]

I still recall, fondly, the day I saw some mook trying to parallel park one of those ridiculous toys on a one-way street in the west village. Displaying all the prowess of a 16-year-old student driver - he probably wouldn't have done any better if it were a Mini - he diddled back and forth for the full ten minutes I was in a position to watch, and he was probably still at it for another ten after.
As traffic backed up behind him.
And the horns got going.
And passersby stared, pointed, and laughed.
And as his carefully-made-up companion tried to maintain her composure, not make eye contact with anybody, and disappear into her seat in mortification.
"Ohhhhhhhhhh! Played yourself, fool!"