substitute: (ahpuch)
This has been a good weekend, full of unexpected social delights and fatty foods.

I have had totally heterosexual man-dates two nights in a row. Friday, [livejournal.com profile] burntcurtis took me for Chinese (and I hardly look it) at China Palace, where I ate round-eye delights like orange spicy chicken. Great conversation with him in a romantic booth. Last night [livejournal.com profile] threepunchstuff spirited me off to a G(r)eek restaurant where we ate flaming cheese, etc. Thanks to both of you for being wonderfuli and totally heterosexual man-friends!

I also got to see all sorts of people I never see, and purely by chance, including the reclusive [livejournal.com profile] handstil and [livejournal.com profile] godforesaken who are rarely observed since their natural habitat is fifty feet underground.

And! Other people had sent me books recently so I read a pile of them, including two graphic novels about hellholes. Guy Delisle's Pyongyang details his time in North Korea working on animation projects, and Ted Rall's half-graphic Silk Road To Ruin is a combination "comic book" about his travels there and history/backgrounder on Central Asia. Both good. Rall's is particularly useful and full of the sort of black humor that only places like Turkmenistan provide.

I'm enjoying the Halloween season this year for the first time in forever. I managed to recapture that childhood sensation of anticipation about costumes and haunted houses and candy skulls. I was never big into candy, although acquisition itself was a huge high on the actual night, but I loved the way neighbors did up their houses into "scary" haunts. People around here really get into that, and there are some dark and creepy strobed-out houses with hands reaching out the windows, etc. already. I like that way better than the adult beer-bash version.

Speaking of which, the costumes for kids are turning me into Old Conservative Guy. Nick and Nicole found a set of wrist-and-ankle bondage cuffs in the Halloween store, complete with unambiguous drawing of bound hussy, that included the instruction they were not for children under six. Meanwhile, a young teenager was being urged into a Slutty Nurse Outfit by her mother, as Junior complained "Mom, they won't allow this at school!" No.

The Santa Ana winds make my eyes and throat dry and are kind of a pain in the ass, but it's so BEAUTIFUL here right now with that very clear light we never get. I took a load of pics in Santa Ana yesterday and maybe some of of them are salvageable. The "camera out the window at 40 mph" style isn't conducive to great art.

Maybe I'll drive out to the desert tomorrow.
substitute: (blog about broccoli)
That was a good weekend. Both Saturday and Sunday were mini patio reunions courtesy of two birthdays. I got to see people I never see and even on the sacred patio itself, which I never touch now. Plus, Zen.

On Sunday I went to an introductory Zen workshop at the Zen Center of Orange County. I recommend it for anyone local who's interested. It was a four hour event with a break, and included an introductory lecture and discussion, some guided and unguided meditation, a mindfulness exercise of sorts, and a lot of information about possible next steps.

I found the meditation much easier than I had expected. Part of the reason I went at all was that after a year of neurofeedback, EMDR, and some other somatic therapies my brain is a lot calmer. I'd always been the guy with the constantly ringing phone in his head. A few times in my life I had tried meditation with varying amounts of dedication and knowledge, and always failed or at least felt like a failure. I could do the "Relaxation Response" in which you just relax every part of your body starting with the toes and then do it again, etc., and get some kind of detached or floaty state, but that was clearly not what any of the meditative traditions were doing. It was either a way to get to sleep or a way to relax when I couldn't.

Most of the reason I went to this workshop was to get direction and instruction on zazen (sitting meditation) and they were very helpful. Posture is very important and it's great to have someone looking at you and helping you with what you can't see about the way you're holding yourself. When I got the posture close to "right" it was much more comfortable than I thought. Some of the muscles complained about their new roles but I could do the short 15 minute sessions we had yesterday. The most difficult part was the eyes, which in this particular tradition are half-closed and unfocused, looking down at a 45 degree angle. My eyes wanted to be open or closed, not anything in between.

Part of the deal when you do the workshop, which is $60, is that you get a free month of sessions at the Center. I'm going to follow their suggested schedule of home meditation and visiting the Center this month to keep this fresh and see how it goes. I will probably continue to visit there if things work out well.

Maybe the best benefit of the year of Hell doing neurofeedback will be a brain that can handle zazen.

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