substitute

If you can't be part of the solution, there's always money to be made inventing a new problem. That's how we got new diseases like halitosis and ring around the collar. There's a product, so let's create a need: a disease is a good one.

Our enemies—waxy buildup, salmon going red in the can, the invisible filth on our faces—can only be defeated with the help of heroic product managers. This is an old story.

If what you're selling is the absence of something, the task is a little easier. Best way is to launch a crusade of health and morals against your target. I recommend just lying like crazy 'cause it works great. Today's example:

http://www.caffeineawareness.org/

The caffeine-free products industry now has its own Reefer Madness, in which the most harmless and beneficial of stimulants turns out to be the worserest thing you can do! Just ask this scientician!

There's trouble in River City...

thanks to salome_st_john for this