substitute

From The Impacted Nurse via Effect Measure, the P advice for bird flu:

Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Promotes Pandemic Preparedness, Preventing Piss Poor Performance, Pernicious Pestilence, Pervasive Public Panic, Probable Personal Petulance, Pulmonary Pathogens, Poor Patient Prognosis, Preventable Pain and Poo-ing your Pants when it all goes Pear-shaped.

Fraid of pears now.