the end of the rainbow

[substitute]

If dealing with the reality of my life at midpoint feels like this, I would like my delusions back right away.

Never in my wildest nightmares did I think I'd be doing this badly this late in life, or have lost so much that can't be regained, or have such a bleak future to swallow.

I want to deny who I am, but I cannot.

This is Hell.

Comments

[amorpoeta.livejournal.com]

I have nothing helpful to say. Just know that I'm sorry for what you're going through and hope it gets better.