what

[substitute]

schoslashtic

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Here's a gem:

[rpkrajewski.livejournal.com]

“Oh, you’ll be the death of me – ohhh,” gurgled H₂O as the pert little particles slithered and slid. Ca²⁺ and Mg²⁺ really could fit in any nook and cranny...they caressed the water molecules wantonly.

H₂O was getting harder and harder, trembling at the sensations the cheeky little ions were causing as they embraced his molecules, slipping right in between the hydrogen bonds between the molecules to reach that spot...

“Are we making you hard, water? Are we?” asked Mg²⁺ breathlessly. Ca²⁺ moved faster and faster, infiltrating water’s most secret places.

from here