precious bodily fluids

[substitute]

President Jerkcity: NOT ENOUGH METH IN THE WHITEHOUSE (Y/N)????
substitute: LYNNE CHENEY NEEDED IT ALL (TUPPERWARE/FISTING PARTY)

President Jerkcity: MRSRSRS BUSH IS THE DRUG ZORR!!
substitute: WE’D LIKE TO ASK MR. RUMSFELD NOT TO HUFF OVEN CLEANER IN THE WEST WING ANY LONGER, AT LEAST NOT UNLESS HIS ESCORT NEEDS IT TOO
President Jerkcity: I HEAR THE PENTAGON IS REALLY CRUISY.
substitute: totally ripped uncut M4M theater nuclear planning committees
President Jerkcity: http://americablog.blogspot.com/logo02xx.jpg
substitute: hawtttttt
President Jerkcity: M4M = HOT MOTHMAN SEX
substitute: I’m trying to figure out how to make a gay rentboy who does the “Marine” shtick and is given state secrets and paid by the GOP.. somehow.. WORSE
President Jerkcity: It does require a fine brush.
substitute: bestiality? illegal immigrants? SECRET LIBERALISMS?
substitute: maybe if he was also a Youth Pastor
President Jerkcity: Kennedy necromancy.
President Jerkcity: needle-tracks on his dong
substitute: yessss.. teh drugs
substitute: “Mr. President, is it true that your paid off hustler reporter put POPPERS in his ANUS while in the WHITE HOUSE?”
President Jerkcity: CHENEY WATERSPORTS
President Jerkcity: ~I DON’T LEAVE MARKS, ONLY IMPRESSIONS~
President Jerkcity: I can’t wait to see what it looks like once it hits the Reality Distortion Field.
President Jerkcity: maybe the guy will turn into a welfare mom who is working her way up from poverty via the Press Corps
substitute: MR. GANNON’S ERECTIONS WERE PERFECTLY STRAIGHT AND PATRIOTIC AND ARE SUPPORTING OUR THRUST TO OH GOD GRAB MY BALLS AGAIN
substitute: IT DEPENDS ON WHAT THE DEFINITION OF “WHORE” IS AND WHAT THE DEFINITION OF “UNCUT M4M” IS, AND WHAT THE DEFINITION OF “IS” IS, AND MR. RUMSFELD IS HUMPING MY LEG RIGHT NOW
President Jerkcity: “The Web sites reflects the era in which it was built. A simple black background, white text, lots of kitschy images and bad puns. The theme is decidedly military.”
President Jerkcity: that is as much about the ho-site as about the GOVERNMENT.
substitute: AS WE HAVE PROVEN IN ABU GHRAIB, THIS ADMINISTRATION IS COMMITTED TO EMBARRASSING HOMOEROTIC FETISHES. I DON’T SEE THE INCONSISTENCY HERE, BILL, BUT I SURE DO SEE AN ENGORGED, ERECT MEMBER URINATING PROUDLY.
President Jerkcity: President Pissfreak IN THE HIZZOUUSSSSSE
President Jerkcity: Theses will be written about the psychohistory of an administration consisting of draft-dodgers who belittle generals, paying a hustler from the Marines whose usual thing is getting up in uniform and yelling at his clients.
President Jerkcity: Also, “Paul also recalls Jeff being around 40 years old, even though the Web site said he was 32.” I am SHOCKED.
substitute: Wait... whores lie about their AGES? Is this some kind of unregulated DISASTER AREA of COMMERCE??
President Jerkcity: I mean, if they lie about their ages, it’s so CALCULATING!
substitute: It makes me want to have unprotected double anals in a $40,000 government toilet!!!
President Jerkcity: “and competition, especially wrestling....” should be put on the new-design money.
substitute: grrrrrraeco-roman
substitute: President Hilarious Graham Chapman Gay Sketch from 1975
substitute: revelation: Karl Rove & George W. Bush once snorted coke together in 1978 and watched “Midnight Express” and then did the nasty in the jacuzzi.
substitute: ever since then there’s been this odd flavor to their friendship
President Jerkcity: “is it too weird now?”
President Jerkcity: << Gannon's most notable article had asserted that John Kerry "might some day be known as 'the first gay President'". >> http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1416370,00.html
substitute: yessss
substitute: I’m sure a weekend sucking off John Kerry is more than $1200. Gannon was just jealous.

Addendum from IRC:

President Jerkcity: I'm enjoying reading the client-reviews of the skanky ho that the Whitehouse propaganda office declared was a reporter
President Jerkcity: http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/bulldogdc.html "We both felt more relaxed as the clothes came off. Man oh man does this guy know how to take charge and take care of a horny bottom. While earlier reviews may have suggested he might be rough, that was not the case. He was caring, assertive and with stamina that could have gone on all night."
President Jerkcity: "Being military also, we had much in common. I feel completely at ease that my secret is safe with him."
ignatz: This fall, terror has a new enemy: Harrison Ford is Dr. Jack Ryan in BIG FAGGOTTY DICKS OVER YEMEN
ignatz: written by Tom "Of Finland" Clancy