Things I learned from watching this weekend's COPS marathon

[substitute]

• Men without shirts beat women.
  
  
• The T-Top Camaro always contains the drugs.
  
  
• It only takes a few minutes to make a policewoman into a believable whore.
  
  
• No one in the history of the world has ever had any idea how the drugs got into their car.
  
  
• Do not “just be hangin out”. No good can come of it. The same is true for “being out ridin’ with my friends” and “kinda partyin a little”.
  
  
• If you are going to be flat broke, do it in a blue state. Our nation’s hot, humid heartland, with its endless convenience store parking lots and lack of entertainment, will cause your poverty to sink rapidly into paint-huffing and domestic fisticuffs. August in Chattanooga is a terribly long month.
  
  
• Athletic shoes without socks, logo t-shirts from cigarette brands, and hats provided by liquor distributors are warning signs.
  

After all of this I went to D’s for a bit and one of the “customers” of the mysterious suite upstairs arrived in a terrible rage. He was about 30 with a serious drug face that made him 50. He stormed upstairs and others saw him cutting something up with a knife and grabbing something with which he stormed out again after kicking a few things around. It was not at all cool; there were little kids around. O Bad Boys, O Bad Boys, wherefore are you gonna do?

Comments

Buuruu

[torgo-x.livejournal.com]

"If you are going to be flat broke, do it in a blue state."

That's the truth. I've never seen bleak like the bleak I saw in northeast Oklahoma in June of ... 2000?.

Tulsa seemed, in theory, more hygienic than, say, Katmandu. But not from a mental health standpoint. It was like Clerks, but with meth and substandard construction.