Hellraiser: A Skin Creme for Men

The Guardian reports that the Chinese government is making cosmetic products out of the skin of executed prisoners.

After I finished retching and clawing at my face, I composed myself and thought "Hmm, there must be some way to get in on this one." I figure there are going to be more executions here, mostly of younger people, and increasingly by lethal injection which leaves things looking good. One problem is that our Death Row population is mostly dark brown and our high-end cosmetics buyer tends to be light pink. I'm not sure whether we're going to go with bleaching the convicts or just selling the products to tanning salons as Jared suggested.

Product name suggestions are Justice: Strong Supple Skin for Him and Lifeskin Recyclables Body Rejuvenator.

(no subject)

They told me you'd be an unusual patient, Mr. Trout.

1. From Antarctica, delicious snow rolls!
   
   
2. Napoleon Dynamite versus Bill Gates: FIGHT! Does anyone have this video?
   
   
3. Google's directions to Italian Webmasters have a "hungarian phrasebook sketch" problem of sorts.
   
   
4. Abused children are highly attuned to anger, even when it does not involve them. I have this problem, and interestingly my therapist says that some of the unavoidable nonsense that happened when I was an infant produces symptoms similar to those of children who have been seriously abused.
   
   
5. Area men sign up for Katrina cleanup, end up slaves. Wow! It's like the "selling knives in the parking lot" scam but with more hepatitis and tetanus! Bonus points for "BMS Catastrophe, Inc."

Mr. President, will that be #1 or #2?

Screen snap du jour; W writes an urgent note to his assistants during the U.N. Summit:

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050914/ids_photos_ts/r2587077477.jpg

( or screen snap behind the cut in case it's memoryholed, png 830x640, 56K )

Waterclosetgate Hearings

ignatz: Mr. President, at the time of the memorandum you did not specify #1 or #2. Was there additional communication between you and the Secretary of State on this distinction?
ignatz: Please let the record show that the President slowly lifted both hands.
maciej: Republicans angrily denounces insinuations that the President may have intended to go do #3
ignatz: Why do you hate defecation?
maciej: 2 4 6 8... Condi can I micturate?
ignatz: Mr. President, you already have. It's time to go to the "undisclosed location" again.