hello there internet

I've got a glass of Pellegrino next to me, a cat on my leg, some Buzzcocks in the iTunes, and a lovely spring evening outside.

How's things in your latitude?

weird crap you find on Wikipedia

The CASPIAN SEA MONSTER!

During the Cold War, ekranoplans were sighted for years on the Caspian Sea as huge, fast-moving objects. The name Caspian Sea Monster was given by confused U.S. intelligence operatives who were puzzled by the huge vehicle, which looked like an airplane with the outer halves of the wings removed. After the end of the Cold War, the "monster" was revealed to be a secret airplane of the Russian military, designed to fly only a few meters above water, thus saving energy and staying below enemy radar.

The KM, as one model was known in the top secret Soviet military development program, was over 100 m long, weighed 540 tons fully loaded, and could travel over 400 km/h mere meters above the surface of the water. Once moving at speed, the ekranoplan was no longer in contact with the water, and could move over ice, snow, or level land with equal ease.

I want one.

Hulkster in Heaven is my favorite.

From outsider_music;

Hulk Rules, the album, from 1995.

Men in Black Take UFO Investigator Away

Military 'hacker' freed on bail

Gary McKinnon, accused of hacking into 53 US military and Nasa computers in 2001 and 2002, appeared before Bow Street magistrates in London.

The 39-year-old, of Wood Green, north London, will be back in court for an extradition hearing on 27 July.

...

Mr McKinnon, an unemployed computer systems administrator, is known on the internet as "Solo".

He is accused of hacking into computer networks operated by Nasa, the US Army, US Navy, Department of Defence and the US Air Force.

...

Mr McKinnon's solicitor, Karen Todner, estimates he could face a maximum 70-year jail sentence if convicted in the US.

She says he does not deny infiltrating US systems but says his motivation was to try to prove the existence of UFOs and to expose security failures.

Editorial note: It's not known whether Mr. McKinnon himself is a space alien.

what

hoyvenmayven points us to a guide for Christians who want threesomes.

Of course, many heterosexual men, rather than feeling threatened by lesbian sex, are fascinated by it, and in this case, the exploration of the wife’s sexuality with another woman could actually serve to draw the husband and wife closer together. However, in this situation we must ask what degree of participation is appropriate for the male, and how should he conduct himself so as not to commit adultery against his wife. This is a slippery slope, but if we look to the Scriptures, we can establish some guidelines for what is permissible.

The same guy thoughtfully includes analyses of oral, anal, and of course boner pills.

Parody, or insanity? It's a close call, folks.

all suffering is desire... ...on a STICK.

Years ago I read a parody list of community college courses. It included things like "How to make a $5000 dining room table into a toothpick"; backwards versions of popular self- and home-improvement articles. The funniest of all was the psychology workshop called "Guilt Without Sex".

The last half of the day was rough. I had some bad surprises and never got my equilibrium back. It wasn't a good brain day generally; concentrating was difficult and I had a crappy time being in conversations or keeping track of social situations. Apologies to anyone I spaced out on.

I had a run-in with one of the local rich teenagers, who was trying to be butch by throwing trash on the ground and throwing his bike on the ground and throwing himself around in a carefree, sociopathic manner. It shouldn't have mattered that I had to yell at him a little, but I was knocked out of equilibrium for the rest of the evening.

I also realized today that not only do I constantly have some unrequited desire for one or more inappropriate people, but that I have unreasonable feelings of attachment. I get jealous of people I'm not dating, and even better; I get jealous of people I'm so unlikely to get with that it's like science fiction. Noticing this madness, I realized tonight that I've perfected the art of experiencing every discomfort that comes with romantic love (unrequited desire, irrational assessments of others, jealousy, an overdeveloped desire to please, acne, embarrassment, loss, bitterness) without any of the benefits (orgasms, snuggles, frequent dinners out, reliable companionship, long walks on the beach). I have, in fact, perfected Guilt Without Sex.

There's part of life you can fix with effort, and part of life you can fix with brain chemicals, and then there's the part of life you just have to suck up. I stumbled over that part again. I felt like apologizing to anyone I get attracted to, as if somehow I was broadcasting loser radiation.

I hope I get to figure out someday why I'm still 12. Since I'm unwanted goods and over 40, it's purely academic at this point, but I'm an academic at heart.