Paperwork and nostalgia

eyeteeth pointed out to me today that the I Love the 90s television show was reminiscing about 1997, which is only seven years ago. A highlight of long-ago 1997 was South Park. We agreed that it was in fact impossible to be nostalgic about South Park because it was still going on and hadn’t stopped yet.

My immediate thought was this: I demand from now on to experience nostalgia for events synchronously, exactly as they happen in a one to one ratio. I am therefore fondly remembering the old livejournal days as I type this and submit it via that great Internet experience we all shared back in ‘04.

Give me that real time rock ‘n’ roll!

I'll just write "Bartleby" on mine, thanks

nickjb told me this evening that everyone at his library job received business cards. Apparently the City decided that they would get cards for all employees in all divisions simultaneously, so the order came down that library employees were to receive these also.

Since Nick is at the bottom layer of the Library hierarchy and shelves books, he is neither an august Librarian nor an honorable Clerk but merely a loyal Page. People in the first two categories received the usual box of 500 personalized cards, which only the Librarians will actually put to use.

The pages received a rubber-banded deck of about 20 cards, on which the name is blank.

After deep and lengthy consideration I can find no actual purpose for such a card. Nick cannot identify himself to customers with it unless he writes his name on it. Even so he has no reason to do this. He is a page; he shelves books and occasionally tells people where the fiction section or the bathroom is. In no situation will he hand a card to a Library customer and say “give me a call”. Unlike say a car rental agency or a medical clinic, a library has no customers who will need a card to remember the address or phone number of the place, either. It’s just not that kind of organization.

The nameless business card therefore represents a totally useless object in the pure Dada sense, like one of Man Ray’s objets inutiles. It exists and has the structure of a useful object but cannot be used for anything that it might represent.

This means that there is only one meaning of the card. It is to humiliate the pages and remind them of their lowly status. Like other Library employees, they are called upon to represent the organization, but they are not entitled to any identity of their own and must demonstrate this by displaying blank calling cards.

The card says: I am of no consequence. I think we all need one!

what the

Inexplicable Bondage Picture du Jour.

Probably work safe in that hardly anyone would be able to figure out what the point of all this was.

NO.

• "Meh".
  
• Photobooths.
  
• 70s retro mustaches.
  
• Personality tests of any kind.
  
• Jam bands.
  
• Knee-jerk anything.
  
• Talk radio.
  
• Children driving huge trucks
  
• "Building your brand"
  
• $200 toasters
  
• "Love"
  

apocalypta-riffic! (bzz)

13 in Santa Ana Stung as 120,000-Plus Bees Attack
By Joel Rubin
Times Staff Writer

August 13, 2004

More than 120,000 bees laid siege to a Santa Ana neighborhood Thursday afternoon, stinging residents, firefighters and news reporters, authorities said.

After living relatively quietly in a wall of a two-story apartment building in the 900 block of south Cypress Avenue for about two years, the bees poured into the neighborhood when boys threw rocks at the hives, fire officials said.

Firefighters responded to calls from frantic neighbors shortly after 2 p.m. and cordoned off a four-block area. They then tried to keep the bees at bay with streams of water until a professional beekeeper arrived about an hour later.

"It was pandemonium," said Santa Ana fire Capt. Steve Horner.

"Everywhere you looked, bees were attacking."

A mother and daughter, who were both stung multiple times, were treated for allergic reactions to the stings and taken to a hospital.

An unlucky jogger was caught wearing only shorts, Horner added.

In all, 13 people were stung, including seven firefighters and two reporters.

The beekeeper disposed of most of the 120,000-plus bees by subduing them with a chemical spray, then vacuuming them up.

About 500 pounds of honey was discovered in the apartment walls, Horner said.

Fire officials said residents had used foam in an attempt to plug holes used by the bees to enter the wall, but had never reported the problem to authorities.

YES.

• Penne vodka.
  
• John Coltrane’s “A Love Supreme”.
  
• VTEC engines.
  
• Jasmine blooming at night.
  
• Claret or Meritage.
  
• Billy Bragg doing “Garageland”.
  
• The noise my cat makes when she enters the room and notices that I am there.
  
• The Perl programming language.
  
• Sitting around D’s talking with the_silent_one.
  
• Clean, organized, well-labeled cabling.
  
• Suck.com.
  
• Clean, soft cotton clothing.
  
• Henri Rousseau.
  
• Lazy, endless afternoons.
  
• You.
  

the blood-price of an Orlando "cast member"

http://www.28news.com/stories/2004/08/040812disneydeath.shtml

if you are slowly crushed to death by a parade float while dressed as a comical animal, the price of your dying is that of a mediocre used car.