NO.

NO. no. NO. NOOO. NO. NO!!!

Someone is looking out for me!

These brave fellows have the guts to tell it like it is. Those nannyish “scientists” and “doctors” with their “longitudinal studies” don’t know what every good American knows.

That Nanny Culture was about to stop me from having my seventh delicious Big Mac™ of the day!

This announcement was brought to you by Philip Morris, ADM, Cargill, and other down-to-earth, right-thinking Americans who can see through that flim-flam of “morbidity and mortality statistics” and “actuarial tables” and keep meddling bureaucrats from scaring you away from what’s really important in life.

Also, what’s up with those fussy old grandmas at M.A.D.D.? Lowering that B.A.C. level just criminalizes more of us as so-called “drunk drivers”!

First the goat, then the cat.

Once, Southerners worshipped Jesus Christ, who was a good and kind man. They saw him in their pudding, in the rust on the screen door, and in the clouds. And all was well. Then, they worshipped Elvis, who was a good but troubled man. They saw him in the soup, driving by in a truck, and in the patterns of oil in puddles. And all is well.

Now they worship an asshole NASCAR driver who was mainly known for forcing others out of the way. All is not well. However, if your animal has a “3” on it, sell tickets.

I get a lot of email from this guy Larry Stroup.

“Conrad, let us know what’s going on in your life, since you don’t seem to have time to simply go to a web page and join FREE so we can help you build a business.”

C’mere, Larry. Let me show you what’s going on my my life. RIGHT NOW FOR EXAMPLE I AM REPEATEDLY AND RHYTHMICALLY SLAMMING YOUR HEAD AS HARD AS I CAN ON THIS ORNAMENTAL MARBLE INLAID COFFEE TABLE. NOTE THE ITALIAN WORKMANSHIP AND THE SPREADING POOL OF BLOOD (YOURS).

I should share with Larry, but I’m shy like that.

Poster torn, reaping wheel.

[Poll #248141]