Today's Yahoo! Personals find

I love this site more and more each day. Special bonus points for “chilaxed” but I am very worried about her cleaver.

http://personals.yahoo.com/personals-1027492929-897678

“First of all I REALLY NEED someone true as the color blue..... im a chilaxed person who is down for whatevers cleaver. NOT whatever!!... im into everything n anything... i love the sound of music and being around music... im a song writer n vocalist trying to start my own band... i really need a bass playa more than i need a man!!!! a true blue playa..... one that knows whats his. and takes pride in it. i need a faithful, compasionate man not a teacher of lifes many lessons. words are more powerful than man himself. someone who is asertive, and ready to leave fantasy land behind for reality. someone that understands that he has five senses and needs to use atleast 1 on daily basis. (common) im looking for someone that can talk about themself openly enjoys exploreing the unlimited wonders of the world. and someone who stands beside me not infront of me or behind me. if you understand that than YOUR DA MAN!!!! i need. LOVE IS THE LAW LOVE UNDER WILL DO WHAT THOU WILT SHALL BE THE WHOLE OF THE LAW.. 93 “

Marketing prose from all over

Winter is waiting.. for the weather to turn, the garden to awaken or spring training to begin. Around here, the quiet ticking of a grandfather clock is an overture to something perfectly timed. Aged cheese. Slow hickory smoking. The leisurely rise of fresh bread dough. So it is that our new sandwich arrives to stoke the winter grill with abundant flavor and the time to enjoy it.

This is about a “Smokehouse Turkey Panini on Three Cheese Bread”.

Someone was mixing cheap white wine with “The Silmarillion” and an old Norman Rockwell print.

Let's Bronze, America.

The flight suit is perfect. I wonder if I can get one with a white feather?


“Since then and in particular during this politically charged election year he has not shrunk from this roll [sic]. “

Or for an even better deal:

http://www.foxbronzeart.com/offer.html

Courtesy (?) Pudge.

The prose for their prepaid card thing is even better

Keep Your Panera Card™ nice and cozy to savor warm winter moments

Why weather an inconvenient trip to the ATM when it’s so easy to reload your Panera Card? Just stop by any register. Then, the next time it’s blustery (or not) duck in for a steaming cup of coffee and a soul-soothing sandwich, served with the wintry ease of the Panera Card.

Ten yards for “wintry ease”. I also imagine the marketing meeting at which someone insisted that “or not” be inserted because otherwise people might only think the card worked when the weather is blustery.

prevalentinian observation

“You Won’t Be Single For Long Vodka Cream Pasta” is a recipe, but it sounds like a spam subject line.