Look, just forget I said anything, ok?

[substitute]

In a sign that I have reached a new personal low, I've been using some of these online dating services. This is because everyone I know is 15 years younger than me and no one will date me. I am a creechy old man in my own social circle. Whatever with me. It's not happening.

I have some observations about these services. Please note that my feelings about this are not to be held as representative of my feelings about women, human relations, sex, or any other Great First Principles. I'm bitter and misanthropic about all that too, but not today. Today we have:

1. People suck.
   
   
2. On most dating services everyone is "down to earth", "sick of the games", "fun", "loves to laugh", and "wondering if anyone is out there". Also, "tired of the bar scene". Shut up, shut UP, SHUT UP.
   
   
3. If everyone who said they liked the outdoors on personals did, we'd have no one indoors. You're all a bunch of couch potatoes and liars.
   
   
4. Please don't say you're a princess. No one is a princess. This is America, we did away with our aristocracy a long time ago. We're all just folks.
   
   
5. Women my age (see last post) for some reason all seem to have big poofy blonde 80s hair. I can't deal. I know this is unfair. I just don't want to go on a first date with someone who looks like the real estate agent on my free notepad.
   
   
6. I am obviously still 23 (see last post) because only younger people seem to make any sense to me at all, at all, at all. People my age are all about money and stupid middle-class hobbies.
   
   
7. I shall now give up because I will never ever get a date this way; I am not an athletic, outdoorsy prince who loves to live and laugh and wants nothing more than to cuddle with a movie and his princess. If anyone meets someone like that, please kill him for me.
   

The exception to these rules is nerve.com where everyone is a Public Radio-loving, left-leaning, ecowarrior-vegenazi who likes indie this and alternative that and fight the power. These people all hate me also. I tried matches with several likely looking people and I got my first rejection approximately 30 minutes later. Forget them; they're all a bunch of new age hippies anyway with Free Tibet stickers on their SUVs.

If i sound bitter, it's just because I'm really bitter. :)

P.S. Anyone whose listed last book read is by Tom Robbins should be used for BAIT CHUM.

Comments

The TOM ROBBINS thing

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

Is that why you wouldn't give any book suggestions? Because I've read so much of him? I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING!


I'm not far enough away from the mean age of my present social circle to be a creechy old man, so I am another sort of dating undesirable: the big brother. Whether I am related to you or not, whether I have assumed this role with you in particular of my own free will or not, whether I can stand your guts or not, I am somehow this big brother to all. Sometimes it bothers me, but not much. What bothers me more is the moment of realization that these people can often be more stereotypically annoying kid brothers/sisters than my little sister ever was. Now I get along really well with lil' sis. Some of the others just make me ill.

Ill, I say. It's directly related to your first point. If you ever hear me complain about a specific subgroup of the entire human population, it's because I'm giving the rest a break right then. One of the things that really gets me is how people can say with honest conviction how (for example) "women suck". YES. DAMN THEIR CRAZY BITCH-MAKING CHROMOSOMES. I HATE THEM SO MUCH. TOO BAD I LIKE BOOBS TOO AND WITHOUT THEM WE WOULD STARVE AND NOTHING WOULD EVER GET CLEANED. OH, AND WE'D HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH OTHER GUYS HEY! DON'T TOUCH ME, FAG!

Pardon, where was I? Right, people suck. And while I, like many people, use some broad indicators taken from experience to help me out with everyday interaction (and sometimes I find I slip towards using stereotype, disappointing myself more than anyone else), I try to let individuality shine through. And sometimes it does so very well.

Age is one big factor on nearly everyone's mind, isn't it? I know people in their 50s who are frighteningly immature. I consider most people around my age to be unreliable sex and party junkies. And the younger ones don't know what they're doing, have no respect, and don't care about anything even slightly below the surface. There are a few good ones out there, though. There must be. And when you find a good one, you may be pleasantly surprised.



I think it boils down to this: they hate me too, but at least I have enough sense to hate them back. Hell, most of the time I was quick enough to hate them first.

And now I'm not even sure why I typed all of this.

Re: The TOM ROBBINS thing

[halfjack.livejournal.com]

I would like to add that, at 38, I am frighteningly immature. I aim to be even less mature by 50.

You lie

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

I think you are quite mature, but you are treating it as a dirty word when it shouldn't be. Moreover, I consider you childlike (which is good, as opposed to childish, which is bad).

Growing up doesn't mean you have to be solemn all of the time. You're one of the good ones.

Re: The TOM ROBBINS thing

[frobisher.livejournal.com]

Also at 38, I've basically decided to ignore immaturity and maturity altogether and just float.

Still, I have to admit, I liked the one Robbins book I've read. Maybe that's because I've only read one, though.

Re: The TOM ROBBINS thing

[the-silent-one.livejournal.com]

Though I am not in the same situation, I end up feeling the same way you do about people. Well said.

Perfect!

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

When you made this comment, I read the email LJ sent me and that was all. Only now do I look over the entire thread and see the userpic you used. Well done.

Re: Perfect!

[the-silent-one.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's one I've had since I started my LJ.